What's the meaning of hard work?
What's the meaning of every breath, every drop of sweat, every wrinkle on your forehead, every silver hair on your head?
What does it all worth?

Reminiscing on the lives of successful people all over history, they all share one trait that sets them apart from other people: pure hard work. They all have the drive to go the extra mile, the willingness to sacrifice for the future, putting 100% in everything they do just so that they don't have to do it all over again. All to achieve their aim.
There is no place for mediocrity: no "takpe-lah" mentality, no "kejap-lah" excuses, no "redha" and "sabar" rationalization. All are pure things being twisted around for all the wrong reasons. Wake up! Be honest to yourself! The only one that could be held responsible is you, so you better run fast because nothing is going to stop for you.
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You want to be with somebody? Be worth it. Run after them, because there no chance in hell they'll wait for you. Earn your happiness. Take everyday as a chance to do better. Allah tells us to do everything in our power to attain strength, go to the moon if you're able to. So why are you sad of your own helplessness? Work hard! Achieve all you can!

I've said before that I think love is a blessing. If it is the best for you, then Allah will give it to you. It is disappointing when people tell you,

"Don't be too high, you'll be out of the league for anyone."

So shallow. What are you, still in the 16th century? It saddened me to know that these people think that a girl should stop working hard, stop achieving all she can just so that she could get a man. My question is, why is that man so slow? Why wouldn't he keep up? Why should anyone stop to wait for this person? That person is just slowing everybody down, tying us up in a fate that could be different.
Work hard guys!
Aren't you embarrassed to see how little of you are in the universities now? Such a shame. Such a waste.
So I think I won't waste my time anymore. I've decided that I would try everything in my power to achieve all that I can. What I am doing is not wrong. Allah is with me, I take comfort in that. When I am finally worthy of it, when it is indeed the right time, then Allah will bless me with love.
Maybe the one for me is not below me, but above me, so why do I need to stop?
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...what's with me and angry posts now? cool down, cool down...*sigh*
why do these people think we care for such trivial things like status, money and all material things?
Life is much, much more than that.
I don't care, but you do. And you want me to stop just because you can't keep up? So unfair.
When married, a woman is tying her fate to you. No parents to turn to. Just you. So if the person is not dependable, it is futile. A little stability is not something too great to ask for, it is not too much. The future is uncertain, but we can try to make it better by being prepared.
...or all these too much for you to handle? :(

p/s: "You" in this context does not refer to anyone. Just venting my frustration to the world.

Lately I feel a little burned out.
Its like I have nothing worthwhile to say..
But lately my mind keep wandering to the years I spent in Unimas.
When I look back, gosh, I really hated it there.
Especially when I was leading the Entrepreneurship Club.
There, I met the worst people.
Manipulative, calculative, cruel people.
When I played out the events in my head, my heart bleeds.
It's as though a knife is stuck there, not letting the wound to heal.
During those black years, I felt as low as the dust on your feet.
Trampled on all over and looked upon as dirt that have to be washed off.
What were they thinking, treating people the way they do?
...hmm..maybe they have their own twisted reason that is beyond my comprehension.
Those 3 people, I hope I never see again.
I can never forgive, as I don't understand what went wrong.
Looking back, I wish that I have more guts to stand up for myself. Then at least I would be satisfied.
Now, those events just leave a bitter taste in my mouth.
I need to forgive and forget. I'll try.
One thing is for sure: I do not want to see any of those people again. I've had enough.
I hope that period in my life would be blacked out, erased forever from my memory.

Whatever it is, I am thankful that during those trying times, I had friends in the Club. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I would never understand what made them stay..nevertheless I am thankful. Without all of you, I could never go on...

Life is every bit the soap opera. Along with the bad guys, there's also the good guys.
Thank God.

~ sorry for the raw emotional outburst *sigh*

It is better for girl to sleep a hundred years and be kissed and awakened by the right prince than to stay awake and be kissed a hundred times by the wrong frog

Hahahaha
How true.... :p

Storm by Lifehouse


How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the oceans shapeless form.
The waters getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head.

Chorus:
If I could just see you, everything would be alright.
If I could see you the darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water, and you will catch me if I fall,
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright, and everything will be alright.

I know you didn’t bring me out here to drown,
So why am I ten feet under and upside down.
Barely surviving has become my purpose
’cause I’m so used to living underneath the surface.

Chorus

And I will walk on water and you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
And everything will be alright.

.....what's with me and love songs nowadays?
Listening to this song, I suddenly remembered someone from my past...
I've tried to rationalize that liking someone when you're just 10 years old is just tricks of puberty, just part of growing up.
But how come I still remember him? It's been close to 14 years...
I should just forget it.
I know that nobody has the ability to read minds..there is no way for him to know.
I am now 24 years old but still I am stuck in this infatuation like a teenager.
Pathetic?
Maybe.
You could say that because you're not in my shoes.
Just because of that, you do not have the privilege to pass judgment.

I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
A la peaceful melodies
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
No need to complicate
Our time is short
It can not wait, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
A la one big family (2nd time: A la happy family)
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours

:)
This is a feel good song. While listening to this song, it seemed like the colours are a little brighter, the skies a little clearer and life seem to make sense.
Sweet, sweet feeling.
So is life really that simple?
Maybe.
Sometimes it helps to break down big things to little pieces and tackle them a little piece at a time.
Or another approach that work for me is to imagine that your worries or burden are luggages that you have to carry on your backs whenever you go.
I think that is why it is not uncommon to see people with problems walk so slowly, dejectedly, head bowed down and leaden feet dragged one after the other. These people have real burdens that they have to carry. What weigh heavy in our heart, would somehow be apparent in our actions, often without us realizing it.
So, sometimes my friend, you just have to leave those heavy baggages of your heart outside the door and have fun and relax for a while. Be free, if only for a second. Then, when you are not exhausted anymore and things seem clearer, you should go back to the door where you left the baggage and lift those baggages up your back again. However this time, try to think of a way to solve the problem and do it, so that you could leave that particular baggage behind and lighten up your load.
Makes sense?
I hope it does :)

Below is an edited email I sent to my friend...something just got me thinking about it ;)

fizah...aku nk ckp ni, tp xtau la betul ke x ape aku ckp ni (saspen, saspen..hehe, tp xde pape la weh :p )
ko ingat x bile aku rasa sedih pasl *somebody* tu, ko slalu ckp kt aku "tp ko mesti bsyukur sbb dkurniakan rasa cinta tu..sbb kdg2 org lain xpernah rasa pun"
hmm...ingat?

aku sebenarnye setiap kali ko ckp tu aku x fhm n xsetuju sebab aku fikir, kenapa ade org yg nk perasaan mcm ni? aku lonely, aku kecewa, aku rasa xdihargai..kenapa sebab semua ni aku patut bersyukur? aku mcm xtau nape ko ckp tu...da bertahun aku fikir n aku rasa skrg aku da dpt kot maksud ko, n mayb bleh tolong situasi kita bsama...
ko tahu kisah Nabi Yusuf a.s ngan Siti Zulaikha?
aku sgt takjub n kagum ngan kisah cinta nih. dulu aku xpernah tfikir pun...
ko bayangkan lah..Zulaikha tu da la mak angkat Nabi Yusuf a.s, goda plak Nabi Yusuf a.s n then buat plak Nabi Yusuf a.s masuk penjara menderita bertahun2...kalau ko la ditempat Nabi Yusuf a.s, ko nak x terima lg org mcm tu, yg da buat ko lalui mcm2 kesengsaraan?

kalau zaman skrg, mesti kita kata die jahat, xbermoral, xtau malu..n ntah apa apa lg..tapi, kalau kita tgk kisah tu, Siti Zulaikha did wht she did coz she truly loved him. Semua atas nama cinta. perempuan kan ikut perasaan skit, mayb cinta die tu terlalu dasat smpai hilang pertimbangan.

mmg apa yg die buat salah, no doubt abt it, tp aku mcm faham kenapa die buat mcm tu..she couldn't help it, mayb sbb xde bimbingan akal dan iman... Reason die buat bende2 tu suci, tapi cara die tu yg songsang skit. tu yg x betul tu...tp mmg xleh nak sangkal yg at least die ada berusaha utk mencapai impian die kn...
so, kalau fikir balik, bukan die yg minta rasa cinta tu hadir dlm hati die..Allah yg meletakkan rasa cinta itu disitu. Kita xbleh memerintah hati kita untuk menyintai atau membenci sesuatu suka2 je kan...

mcm hidayah lah...Rasulullah s.a.w boleh berdakwah, berdoa, berusaha dengan segala benda yg baginda ada..tapi bapa saudara die Abi Talib ttp xberiman..sbb hidayah tu Allah s.w.t yg kasi

samalah mcm cinta kan? kita bleh buat mcm2, tapi kalau Allah s.w.t tak letakkan rasa cinta tu kt hati die, nk buat mcm mn? cuma kita je yg dirahmati ngan rasa cinta itu...kita tak patut sedih dan marah org itu ke apa, sbb Allah cuma rahmati kita dengan kurniaan cinta dan tidak rahmati org itu dengan rasa cinta yg sama..jadi mmg xpatut la kita mrh kn?
yg kita bleh buat ialah bersabar n berdoa...

aku slalu tfikir, kenapa aku bleh suke org tu smpai bertahun2, berabad2..tp die x rasa pun...mcm bodoh kn? tp sekarang mayb bukan bodoh...cume penuh ngan harapan

Jadi, kalau lah Allah sudah takdirkannya, makan akan terjadi. Jika tidak, maka yakinlah yg itulah yg terbaik untuk kita.
tapi adakah kita mempunyai kesabaran Zulaikha menanti berabad2? mungkin x...jadi sebab itulah, kita mesti berdoa kpd Allah agar diberikan petunjuk...spy kita tetap dijalan yg lurus.
kita mmg kene sentiasa berusaha..tp lepas tu, kene la tawakal. kalau terasa lemah, serahkanlah segalanya pada Allah.

I still think this holds true...

Today my parents n the rest of my family are coming home!
hahaha
They've gone to Kelantan to try out some traditional medicine for my father's ailment.
I couldn't go because my work at the lab is piling up :(
But it doesn't matter now. Focusing on my work, I hardly felt that a week has gone by. But at times when I remembered..well, that's a different story ;)

tata