Assalamualaikum,
So Syawal is near...and Ramadhan is leaving us.
Will we be given the opportunity to experience the wonders offered by Ramadhan again next year?
I don't know.
But I do know that I hope for the best for me and you :)
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Truth is, I am not really psyched with the idea of raya. I am actually very worried of my research project. There's so many things going on in my head that I need to put pen to paper before I can make sense of all the problems plaguing my mind.
Sometimes, there's so many things in my head that I get carried away and be over-focused on the project. I think that is why people think I am so serious. Truth is, my mind is somewhere else: troubleshooting the failed experiments, planning future courses of action, making plan B, C, D and sometimes E if my original plan don't work out.....wow, I could go on and on...seriously.
Can I go to the lab during the celebrations?
But I must be fair to my family, mereka pun ada hak atas diriku.
Lisa, PRIORITIZE!
I want to complete my research ASAP!
Let the path to that goal is easy..without too many thorns.
After I complete my project, then what?
What I'll do?
Dunno.
I'll decide when the time comes.
Cross the bridge when you see it, now focus on getting over this cliff!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Gotta think things through...
Err...if I may ask, what about the funding for Malaysia's research? Anyone care to elaborate???
Monday, September 22, 2008
Childhood sweetheart
Man Who Can't Be Moved
Artist: Script
Album: The Script
Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand
Saying, "if you see this girl, can you tell her where I am?"
Some try to hand me money they don't understand
I'm not broke, I'm just a broken-hearted man
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do?
And how can I move on when I'm still in love with you?
'Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
Policeman says, "son, you can't stay here"
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go
'Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a girl, oh
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world, mmm
Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
'Cos you'll know it's just for you
I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved
'Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
(So I'm not moving) 'Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
(I'm not moving) And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
(I'm not moving) Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet
(I'm not moving) And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
Sweet song..
I dunno why but it makes me think about my childhood sweetheart :)
Love when you're 5 or 6 years old is simple and pure, no complications that often accompany 'adult' love (is that even the right word to use? sounds a bit weird)...
That boy as I remember is a tall skinny guy with a shock of wavy hair. He is the eldest son of my mother's stepbrother. We used to stay at his house when we're in London (My family used to live in UK for a couple of years when my mom was doing her Master's).
We used to play together at his house, along with my little sis and his brother and sister. Whenever we play House a.k.a main mak mak he will always be the father, I'm the mother and all the others are our babies :D Then he'll tell the others to play somewhere else and that leaves us both together. After that we'll just lie on the floor, looking out the window and he'll be talking all the way. I think I mainly just smile at his endless babbles ( am I so mature or just dunno what to say? hahaha). Then he'll put his arms around me and say that someday when we're all grown up we'll be together like this, and I totally believed him...
Ah, the innocence of a childish hope... :)
Seriously, when I think it over, luckily we're all just a bunch of kids because if I were to do the same now, it'd be scandalous!
However, the sad thing is that I never saw him again. I don't even remember his name. Maybe after this I'll ask my mom whether she remembers.
I really hope to see him again, just to know what he's doing now and maybe laugh at our childhood memories together if he still remembers it.
As of now, I really miss the kid that once told me we'll be together someday. At that time, I really thought he'll wait for me and everything he said would come true.
But then things change..our lives change.
The last I heard about his family is that they're all still in London. Maybe they're staying there for good, but who knows? Maybe by a miracle we'll meet again. Until then, I wish him all the luck in the world and may he be happy :)
Friday, September 19, 2008
Different roads
....no words could describe it.
Almost everyone who read the story said variations of, "she could've taken a different road"
I know. But that line of thinking is so simplistic.
But haven't you yourself get stuck in a road that you wish you've never taken? Take this example: You're stuck in a ditch because you failed to navigate your car to tackle the treacherous terrains of a kampung, the day is coming to an end, you have no torchlight and your phone batteries are dead..don't you wish you could've taken a different road and bypass all the s**t that transpires? But you couldn't. You could wish all you want but still your car is in the ditch and you're all alone in the dark wondering, "so, maybe this is what it's like in the dark ages."
No one to help you, simply because there's no one there.
Is it your fault? Maybe.
But you could never have known all this would happen.
So sometimes my friend, the option of choosing a different route is just not there. All you can do is just move on, trying your best to hold on until you approach another fork on the road or a dead end.
Forgive me, but I think she didn't have a choice.
You say,"there is always another choice."
How about if she didn't know any other way to get around it? That road is the only road she sees and she tread on that road with no small courage.
We can't say something is right or wrong if we don't know the whole story.
What people do, their practices and their beliefs are different from one another.
What is considered wrong to us may just be a norm for another..just because of the circumstances.
I do not condone her actions, but I believe I am able to try and understand why she did what she did.
People are always judging other people based on their own beliefs, unconsciously ignoring the fact that other people are different and cannot be fairly judged using the same set of principles and beliefs.
What is important is that the person's actions are true from the heart, lead by the mind with the guidance of knowledge.
Only the surface are different..when you try to look beyond that, you'll discover that we're not all that different.
Sense of right and wrong are generally the same and actions are supposed to be taken toward the greater good.
What other things are there? Nothing.
The different roads that we apparently have to take would eventually take you to who you really are.
This is why our aim, our purpose, our 'niat' is so important.
The very essence of life is change, so do not force yourself to be stagnant.
Open your mind, you'll be surprised what you'll see.
...this is what I think anyway.
Almost everyone who read the story said variations of, "she could've taken a different road"
I know. But that line of thinking is so simplistic.
But haven't you yourself get stuck in a road that you wish you've never taken? Take this example: You're stuck in a ditch because you failed to navigate your car to tackle the treacherous terrains of a kampung, the day is coming to an end, you have no torchlight and your phone batteries are dead..don't you wish you could've taken a different road and bypass all the s**t that transpires? But you couldn't. You could wish all you want but still your car is in the ditch and you're all alone in the dark wondering, "so, maybe this is what it's like in the dark ages."
No one to help you, simply because there's no one there.
Is it your fault? Maybe.
But you could never have known all this would happen.
So sometimes my friend, the option of choosing a different route is just not there. All you can do is just move on, trying your best to hold on until you approach another fork on the road or a dead end.
Forgive me, but I think she didn't have a choice.
You say,"there is always another choice."
How about if she didn't know any other way to get around it? That road is the only road she sees and she tread on that road with no small courage.
We can't say something is right or wrong if we don't know the whole story.
What people do, their practices and their beliefs are different from one another.
What is considered wrong to us may just be a norm for another..just because of the circumstances.
I do not condone her actions, but I believe I am able to try and understand why she did what she did.
People are always judging other people based on their own beliefs, unconsciously ignoring the fact that other people are different and cannot be fairly judged using the same set of principles and beliefs.
What is important is that the person's actions are true from the heart, lead by the mind with the guidance of knowledge.
Only the surface are different..when you try to look beyond that, you'll discover that we're not all that different.
Sense of right and wrong are generally the same and actions are supposed to be taken toward the greater good.
What other things are there? Nothing.
The different roads that we apparently have to take would eventually take you to who you really are.
This is why our aim, our purpose, our 'niat' is so important.
The very essence of life is change, so do not force yourself to be stagnant.
Open your mind, you'll be surprised what you'll see.
...this is what I think anyway.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
A story to ponder...
I got this in an email. This is a story to shake your judgment and principles. It doesn't matter if the story is true or not because in this world nothing is impossible. I put it together with the Chinese characters just in case the translations were not sufficient. I'll put my thoughts on this later. Try to digest it first.
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*DON'T DELETE.. if you don't read Chinese, read the translation as I try my best to work it out. -- Lawrence Liew
卖一次淫，可以帮助一名失学儿童；当一回二奶，可以拯救一所希望小学… 别笑，看过你就不会笑了
Each prostitution, can help one schooless child; become a mistress once, can rescue a hopeless primary school... Don't laugh, after you read, u won't laugh.
看完这个帖子，无语了。我不知道该说什么，是社会错了，还是怎么了？
After I read this story, I speechless. I don't know what to say, is it society's fault, or else?
殷彩霞死了，死前她是一名妓女，更确切的说，她是一名老师。是当今中国当之无愧的老? ΑＫ�用自己肮脏的身体，纯洁了孩子的心灵
Xia died, she was a hooker, or she was a teacher. She is the most honorable teacher in China . She use her dirty body, wash through children's heart.
一个妓女死了，所有的孩子哭着参加了她的追悼会，学校的国旗为她降了一半!
A hooker's death, all children cried and attend her funeral, a school lowered the national flag for her.
按此在新窗口浏览图片
这名年仅21岁的美! 女教师的追悼会上，校长翻开殷彩霞的日记，当着孩子们的面老泪纵横地朗读起来，她这样写道：卖一次淫，可以帮助一名失学儿童；当一回二奶，可以拯救一所希望小学…
In the funeral of this 21 year old pretty teacher, headmaster read Xia's diary sadly in front of all the students, she written : 'Each prostitution, can help one schooless child; become a mistress once, can rescue a hopeless primary school.'....
按此在新窗口浏览图片
殷彩霞出生在甘肃省某县的农村，在那个贫困的地方，村里的其他姑娘，无论美丑，早就到南方沿海城市去打工挣钱了，每到春节，她们都会打扮得花枝招展，大包小包的提回来。而殷彩霞高中毕业后没这么做，很多人都不理解，毕竟她的长相在村里是数一数二的。为此，她的父亲经! 常骂自己的女儿没出息。
Xia lived in a small village of province of Gan Shu . All ladies in this small village, no matter she is pretty or not, went to Southern part of city to earn money. Every spring time, they will come back with money and beautiful cloths. Xia didn't follow after she finished her secondary school. A lot of people don't understand what is she thinking of as she has the pretty face and body. And because of this, her father always scold her.
听说当地一所民办小学缺老师，她主动跟学校要求免费代课。因为她中学成绩就很好，顺利的通过了学校的文化考核，成为一名真正的民办教师。
When she heard of the only primary school in the village needs some teachers, she volunteered ask to become a free teacher. She is a very good student in her secondary school and because of this, she easily pass through all the test and became the teacher of the school.
当殷彩霞第一次走进课堂的时候，孩子门哗然了，他们从未见过如此漂亮的女老师。从此，教室里常常洋溢着孩子们的欢声笑语。说是教室，其实也就一遮风挡雨的茅草棚，树杆埋成的墙，石板搭起的课桌，砖头码起的讲台，最值钱的就是那块用青砖砌起之后经打磨又刷了黑漆的黑板了，粉笔不够用，常以石灰与泥巴代替。就是在这样条件下，殷彩霞教会孩子们认识了几千个汉字，也教会了他们很多做人的道理。
The 1st time when Xia walk into the classroom, all children shock to see a pretty teacher. From then on, the classroom always fill with children's laughter. Classroom -- should call it a hut instead as the wall is made of sticks and cover with leaves as its ceiling. A big stone become their table and the most expensive should be the polished dark-green stone as their blackboard. With this condition, Xia taught thousands of Chinese words and knowledge to her students.
一天夜里刮大风，茅草棚盖的学校屋顶被掀翻，黑板也被刮倒。第2天孩子们上学的时候各个不知道所措。校长去找县教育局长要钱结果无功而返。老校长晚上回来对殷彩霞说，局长说要你去才给。从来没有出过远门、也没有见过世面的殷彩霞怕把事情搞杂了，胆怯的步行10几公里去了县里。局长的办公室装修很豪华，墙上? 易藕芏嘟跗欤�办公桌黑里透红，可以照见人影，上面立着一面小国旗，椅子是皮的，好象擦了鞋油一样光亮，比他的脑袋还要亮。局长见到殷彩霞，色咪咪聊了很多不着边际的话。直到天黑了，校长指着另外一扇门对她说，跟我过来拿钱。当殷彩霞走进去的时候，她只看到了一张床，也就是在那张床上，她失去了她的第一次，确切地说，是局长夺走了她的第一次
There was wild rain destroy the classroom of the school and all students become schoolless... The headmaster visit the province's education minister for some money to repair the classroom and come back with nothing. Headmaster told Xia that the minister said would only give money if Xia ask for it. Xia never meet any minister before and afraid that she will make the things worst and decided t! o visit the minister. She walked more than 10km to the province ministry office and sit in a beautiful office in front of the minister. Minister's eyes looks hungry and point to a room and said to Xia. Your money is in the room, if you want, follow me. Xia saw a big bed in the room and is the bed that she lost her virgin. Minister raped her.
床单上留下了处子的血，那血，比挂在局长办公室墙上的国旗还要红。
Her virgin blood drop on the bedsheet and is more red! dish than the color of the national flag in the room.
殷彩霞没有哭，因为，在眼前浮现的是孩子们没有教室上课而可怜的望着她的眼神！
Xia didn't cry, all she is thinking of is the eyes of all disappointed students that have no classroom.
她连夜步行回到家里，没有跟任何人说起她的屈辱。
She didn't tell anyone about the rape after she went home.
第二天，村民们自发来到学校，买了些材料把简陋的教室重新搭建起来了。可遇到刮风下雨的日子，依然上不了课。殷彩霞几次跟孩子们说，县里不久将会来人给他们买砖头盖一所牢固的教室，在这半年里，校长去县城找了局长十几趟，一分钱没拿到。只有他知道局长对殷彩霞做了些什么，但他却无能为力。新学期开始了，很少人交得起学费，能够坚持来校上课的孩子越来越少了，他们都跟着父母放羊去了。殷彩霞内心感到了疼痛，为这些失学儿童而疼痛。
The next day, with the money that brought back by Xia, all villagers bought some woods and repair the classroom. But whenever there was a heavy rain, the classroom still cannot be used. Xia always tell the students that province ministry department will built a good school for them. In the past half year, headmaster had visited the ministers more than 100 times and never ever get any money from them. He is the only 1 knows what did Xia did and he can do nothing about it. New semester comes, a lot of students cannot pay their fees and become schoolless and follow their parents to work. Xia sad about that.
当殷彩霞知道孩子们的希望已经化为泡影的时候，她脱光了自己的衣服，对着镜子暗暗发誓将用自己的身体去实现孩子们的上学梦。在家乡她知道那些花枝招展回来过年的姐妹们都是在外做批肉生意的。她明白那是一条赚钱的捷径。她洗了个澡，告别了校长、告别的父亲，告别了那间千疮百孔的茅草棚，扎着两条麻花辫走向了繁华的大都市。临走的时候，父亲笑了，校长哭了......
When Xia feel that her hope of all students can go to school become hopeless, she drop all her cloths and swear to her naked body that she will use this body to exchange for the children to be able to go to school. She knows that all ladies in the village are working as a prostitute to earn the living and she knows this is a shortcut for her to earn money. She washed herself and say goodbye to headmaster, father, and school. S he tight her hair as 2 ponytails and walk to the city. When she leave, her father smile and headmaster cry....
繁华都市的五颜六色并没有给殷彩霞带来一丝兴奋，她眼里始终浮现的是那间低矮茅草棚搭建的教室和孩子们渴望的目光。她走进了一家发廊，躺在了肮脏的床上，经受了人生的第二次蹂躏。那天，她在日记本上写着：局长连个嫖客都不如。
殷彩霞是那帮姐妹里最节俭的女孩。她从来不化妆，也从来不穿那些性感的衣服，她总爱扎着麻花辫，但她的生意却总是最好的，她总是抢了其他妓女的饭碗，她也经常为此遭到妓女们的群殴。鼻青脸肿之后，她会走向另一家发廊，似乎只有在那粉色的灯光下她才可以看到希望。看着嫖客们一张张邪恶的嘴脸，她似乎看到了孩子们天真的笑容，但她从来就不曾因此而流泪，因为，她是个老师。
In the colorful city, Xia is not happy at all, in her mind, there are only broken classroom and sadness and disappointed eyes of students. She walked into a Hair-Saloon, lay down on a dirty bed, and accept her 2nd dirty business. In that night, in her diary, she wrote : 'Minister can! 't even compare to her 1st customer. At least they pay.'
她将自己的收入除去生活费之后，全部寄给了校长。校长按照殷彩霞的意思将她寄回的一笔笔嫖资全都用于改善小学的教学条件上。有人问起那笔钱的来源，校长就说那是社会捐助的善款。
She sends all her earnings except those for her to live on to headmaster. Headmaster follows her instruction to use the money on the school. People ask about the source of the money and headmaster only answer that it was from some donation of society.
世上没有不透风的墙，有一天终于从邮局传来消息说那些钱是殷老师寄来的。当地媒体得知这一消息后纷纷试图采访殷彩霞，但都被她婉言谢绝了，因为，她是个妓女。
After a while, people knows about the source of money is from the teacher and many reporters would like to interview her and she just refused and the reason is that she is just a prostitute.
有钱了，学校变了，第一个月，买了黑板，修了屋顶。第二个月，有了木制的课桌与板凳。第三个月，所有的孩子都有了课本。第四个月，所有的孩子都有了红领巾。第五个月，已经没有孩子光着脚丫上课了。
With the money, the school changed. First month, there is a new blackboard. 2nd month, a wooden table and chair. 3rd month, all children has their own books. 4th month, all children has a red tie. 5th month, no children go to school bare leg.
第六个月，殷彩霞回来了。当孩子们看到她的时候，争先恐后地叫她 '殷老师……殷老师回来了……殷老师好漂亮啊……'? ？吹胶⒆用羌ざ�的笑脸，殷彩霞哭了，这半年里，多少的委屈和泪水，在她眼里都那么的有价值
On the 6th month, Xia come back. All students welcome her happily and say 'Teacher is so beautiful'... With all student's smiling face, Xia cries.. how many tear drops and how many sadness in the past 6 months.. she feels worthy when she see all these.
在家呆了几天，殷老师又踏上了南下的路。
After few days at home, she goes back to city.
第七个月，有了操场。 第八个月，有了篮球。第九个月，有了新铅笔。 第十个月，学校有了自己的国旗? �孩子们每天都能够在操场上看到国旗冉冉升
在第十一个月，一个房地产商坚持不用套，结果让殷老师意外怀孕了，打完胎后，殷老师成了房地产商的二奶。可那位包养她半年的房产商因为因近段时间深圳房价陡降而抛弃了她，一分钱没付。
7th month, built a ball park, 8th month, basketball, 9th month, all students has their new pencils. 10th month, the school has their own national flag, students raise the national flags daily. 11th month, a land-developer refuse to use condom and Xia pregnant. After abortion, she become the developer's mistress. After a few months, the developers dump her because he faced problem on land-value drop in Sheng Xhen, he didn't pay her 1 cent.
殷彩霞终于疲倦了，她想回家，她想回到孩子们的身边，可她最大的梦想是为孩子们盖上一间砖砌的教室，再为孩子们买上两台电脑，因为这个梦想还没实现，所以她只能回头去苦苦哀求那位房产商。房产商说没钱，但可以为她介绍一笔大生意，一老外，愿意出三千美元买她一夜。想到几年前的那阵大风，殷彩霞拖着疲惫的身躯爬上了老外的床。她发誓，过了那个晚上她就回到她久别的家乡，回到她久别的课堂。
Xia feel tired, she think of go home and go back to the school, but she has yet to fulfill student's dream which are building a concrete classroom and 2 PCs for the students. Because of these, she went back to beg the developer and the developer just refuse to pay anything but only introduce a foreigner to her. Said the foreigner will pay her 3000rmb for 1 night. Think of the wild rain happen few days ago, she tiredly goes to the foreigner's hotel. She swore that she will go back to her home and school after this.
可就在那个晚上，殷老师被三个外国人强奸致死。死前她才刚过完自己21岁的生日。
She killed by the 3 foreigner because of rape. She just turned 21yrs.
殷老师死了，她没能完成她最后的夙愿，那就是给孩子们盖上一间砖砌的教室，再为孩子们买上两台电脑
Xia died without fulfill her final wish which to build a concrete classroom and 2 PCs. ……
一个妓女死了，悄无声息。深圳的天空还是那么蓝，官员们在豪华宴席上高谈阔论，道! 路上行驶的高级轿车散发着耀眼的光芒。兴奋的人们滔滔不绝地谈论着股票、房价和车市，还有电影、音乐和爱情。路边亲亲我我恋爱的小青年们为了一点小事要死要活。
A hooker dies, silently, the sky of Sheng Zhen is still as blue as before, ministers still happily sitting in their office, many expensive cars still running on street, people happily discussing share market, house market value, car value, and movies, music and love story. Youngster try to suicide because of small matters happen between themselves.
可在此时，甘肃那个人们已经忘记了的小山村，正在举行只有学生、老师和数百位沉痛的村民的追悼会。
At this time, students, teachers and few hundreds of villagers attending the funeral in this small village 'GanShu'
追悼会上，人们看到殷彩霞的一张黑白照片，照片里，她扎着两个麻花辫，笑得如此单纯。校长翻开殷彩霞的日记，当着孩子们的面老泪纵横地朗读起来，她这样写道：卖一次淫，可以帮助一! 名失学儿童；当一回二奶，可以拯救一所希望小学…
校的国旗降了一半。
In the funeral, people see a black and white photo of Xia. In the photo, she has 2 pony tails and happily smile.. Headmaster open the diary of Xia and read in front of all students, she wrote : ' Each prostitution, can help one schooless child; become a mistress onc! e, can rescue a hopeless primary school...'
The national flag lowered to its half..... May be, this is the ONLY national flag lowered half because of a GREAT hooker in China 's history.
或许，这是中国历史上，第一个为一个伟大的妓女而降的国旗。
多好感言：写这篇文章，我整整哭了两个小时。从今以后，我再也不会歧视任何妓女，因为她们当中有一个殷彩霞。真诚希望大家多转载此文，? �满各个论坛和空间．让我们的父母官们看看，当他们在台上高谈阔论的时候，当他们在酒桌前恍酬交错的时候，当他们以权谋私的时候，当他们在台上学习三个代表的时候，多想想那个不是共产党员的殷彩霞和万千处于水深火热的穷苦百姓。彩霞在那个世界在用哀求的眼神望着我们�?/SPAN>
殷彩霞虽然身为妓女，但她比谁都活得高尚，比谁都活得有尊严。在人心冷漠、肉欲横流之下，她给予孩子们的爱难道不是我们社会最可贵的'大爱'
After I read this, I cried for 2 hours. From now on, I won't discriminate any hooker, because among them there is a Xia. Hope you will forward this mail to all forum, friends, webspaces, to let all our governments to understand when they are saying and empty-promissing, when they are drinking in the pub, when they are doing dirty politics, Someone using her own power to change the world. Xia is using her sadly eye to look at all of us. Although she is just a hooker, she is more clean and saint than any of us. In this cold and dirty society, what she gave to the students are human's 'Great Love'.
殷彩霞带着未完成的遗憾离开了这个世界，作为生者，我们理当完成彩霞的遗志，在这个寒冷的冬天，多给千百万穷苦的人们、多给社会奉献我们的爱心和责任。奉献给大家这篇感人的故事，愿我们每个人都能够开心的生活，为社会多奉献点爱心。
希望大家把这帖子多转转 灵魂的震撼！
******************************************************
*DON'T DELETE.. if you don't read Chinese, read the translation as I try my best to work it out. -- Lawrence Liew
卖一次淫，可以帮助一名失学儿童；当一回二奶，可以拯救一所希望小学… 别笑，看过你就不会笑了
Each prostitution, can help one schooless child; become a mistress once, can rescue a hopeless primary school... Don't laugh, after you read, u won't laugh.
看完这个帖子，无语了。我不知道该说什么，是社会错了，还是怎么了？
After I read this story, I speechless. I don't know what to say, is it society's fault, or else?
殷彩霞死了，死前她是一名妓女，更确切的说，她是一名老师。是当今中国当之无愧的老? ΑＫ�用自己肮脏的身体，纯洁了孩子的心灵
Xia died, she was a hooker, or she was a teacher. She is the most honorable teacher in China . She use her dirty body, wash through children's heart.
一个妓女死了，所有的孩子哭着参加了她的追悼会，学校的国旗为她降了一半!
A hooker's death, all children cried and attend her funeral, a school lowered the national flag for her.
按此在新窗口浏览图片
这名年仅21岁的美! 女教师的追悼会上，校长翻开殷彩霞的日记，当着孩子们的面老泪纵横地朗读起来，她这样写道：卖一次淫，可以帮助一名失学儿童；当一回二奶，可以拯救一所希望小学…
In the funeral of this 21 year old pretty teacher, headmaster read Xia's diary sadly in front of all the students, she written : 'Each prostitution, can help one schooless child; become a mistress once, can rescue a hopeless primary school.'....
按此在新窗口浏览图片
殷彩霞出生在甘肃省某县的农村，在那个贫困的地方，村里的其他姑娘，无论美丑，早就到南方沿海城市去打工挣钱了，每到春节，她们都会打扮得花枝招展，大包小包的提回来。而殷彩霞高中毕业后没这么做，很多人都不理解，毕竟她的长相在村里是数一数二的。为此，她的父亲经! 常骂自己的女儿没出息。
Xia lived in a small village of province of Gan Shu . All ladies in this small village, no matter she is pretty or not, went to Southern part of city to earn money. Every spring time, they will come back with money and beautiful cloths. Xia didn't follow after she finished her secondary school. A lot of people don't understand what is she thinking of as she has the pretty face and body. And because of this, her father always scold her.
听说当地一所民办小学缺老师，她主动跟学校要求免费代课。因为她中学成绩就很好，顺利的通过了学校的文化考核，成为一名真正的民办教师。
When she heard of the only primary school in the village needs some teachers, she volunteered ask to become a free teacher. She is a very good student in her secondary school and because of this, she easily pass through all the test and became the teacher of the school.
当殷彩霞第一次走进课堂的时候，孩子门哗然了，他们从未见过如此漂亮的女老师。从此，教室里常常洋溢着孩子们的欢声笑语。说是教室，其实也就一遮风挡雨的茅草棚，树杆埋成的墙，石板搭起的课桌，砖头码起的讲台，最值钱的就是那块用青砖砌起之后经打磨又刷了黑漆的黑板了，粉笔不够用，常以石灰与泥巴代替。就是在这样条件下，殷彩霞教会孩子们认识了几千个汉字，也教会了他们很多做人的道理。
The 1st time when Xia walk into the classroom, all children shock to see a pretty teacher. From then on, the classroom always fill with children's laughter. Classroom -- should call it a hut instead as the wall is made of sticks and cover with leaves as its ceiling. A big stone become their table and the most expensive should be the polished dark-green stone as their blackboard. With this condition, Xia taught thousands of Chinese words and knowledge to her students.
一天夜里刮大风，茅草棚盖的学校屋顶被掀翻，黑板也被刮倒。第2天孩子们上学的时候各个不知道所措。校长去找县教育局长要钱结果无功而返。老校长晚上回来对殷彩霞说，局长说要你去才给。从来没有出过远门、也没有见过世面的殷彩霞怕把事情搞杂了，胆怯的步行10几公里去了县里。局长的办公室装修很豪华，墙上? 易藕芏嘟跗欤�办公桌黑里透红，可以照见人影，上面立着一面小国旗，椅子是皮的，好象擦了鞋油一样光亮，比他的脑袋还要亮。局长见到殷彩霞，色咪咪聊了很多不着边际的话。直到天黑了，校长指着另外一扇门对她说，跟我过来拿钱。当殷彩霞走进去的时候，她只看到了一张床，也就是在那张床上，她失去了她的第一次，确切地说，是局长夺走了她的第一次
There was wild rain destroy the classroom of the school and all students become schoolless... The headmaster visit the province's education minister for some money to repair the classroom and come back with nothing. Headmaster told Xia that the minister said would only give money if Xia ask for it. Xia never meet any minister before and afraid that she will make the things worst and decided t! o visit the minister. She walked more than 10km to the province ministry office and sit in a beautiful office in front of the minister. Minister's eyes looks hungry and point to a room and said to Xia. Your money is in the room, if you want, follow me. Xia saw a big bed in the room and is the bed that she lost her virgin. Minister raped her.
床单上留下了处子的血，那血，比挂在局长办公室墙上的国旗还要红。
Her virgin blood drop on the bedsheet and is more red! dish than the color of the national flag in the room.
殷彩霞没有哭，因为，在眼前浮现的是孩子们没有教室上课而可怜的望着她的眼神！
Xia didn't cry, all she is thinking of is the eyes of all disappointed students that have no classroom.
她连夜步行回到家里，没有跟任何人说起她的屈辱。
She didn't tell anyone about the rape after she went home.
第二天，村民们自发来到学校，买了些材料把简陋的教室重新搭建起来了。可遇到刮风下雨的日子，依然上不了课。殷彩霞几次跟孩子们说，县里不久将会来人给他们买砖头盖一所牢固的教室，在这半年里，校长去县城找了局长十几趟，一分钱没拿到。只有他知道局长对殷彩霞做了些什么，但他却无能为力。新学期开始了，很少人交得起学费，能够坚持来校上课的孩子越来越少了，他们都跟着父母放羊去了。殷彩霞内心感到了疼痛，为这些失学儿童而疼痛。
The next day, with the money that brought back by Xia, all villagers bought some woods and repair the classroom. But whenever there was a heavy rain, the classroom still cannot be used. Xia always tell the students that province ministry department will built a good school for them. In the past half year, headmaster had visited the ministers more than 100 times and never ever get any money from them. He is the only 1 knows what did Xia did and he can do nothing about it. New semester comes, a lot of students cannot pay their fees and become schoolless and follow their parents to work. Xia sad about that.
当殷彩霞知道孩子们的希望已经化为泡影的时候，她脱光了自己的衣服，对着镜子暗暗发誓将用自己的身体去实现孩子们的上学梦。在家乡她知道那些花枝招展回来过年的姐妹们都是在外做批肉生意的。她明白那是一条赚钱的捷径。她洗了个澡，告别了校长、告别的父亲，告别了那间千疮百孔的茅草棚，扎着两条麻花辫走向了繁华的大都市。临走的时候，父亲笑了，校长哭了......
When Xia feel that her hope of all students can go to school become hopeless, she drop all her cloths and swear to her naked body that she will use this body to exchange for the children to be able to go to school. She knows that all ladies in the village are working as a prostitute to earn the living and she knows this is a shortcut for her to earn money. She washed herself and say goodbye to headmaster, father, and school. S he tight her hair as 2 ponytails and walk to the city. When she leave, her father smile and headmaster cry....
繁华都市的五颜六色并没有给殷彩霞带来一丝兴奋，她眼里始终浮现的是那间低矮茅草棚搭建的教室和孩子们渴望的目光。她走进了一家发廊，躺在了肮脏的床上，经受了人生的第二次蹂躏。那天，她在日记本上写着：局长连个嫖客都不如。
殷彩霞是那帮姐妹里最节俭的女孩。她从来不化妆，也从来不穿那些性感的衣服，她总爱扎着麻花辫，但她的生意却总是最好的，她总是抢了其他妓女的饭碗，她也经常为此遭到妓女们的群殴。鼻青脸肿之后，她会走向另一家发廊，似乎只有在那粉色的灯光下她才可以看到希望。看着嫖客们一张张邪恶的嘴脸，她似乎看到了孩子们天真的笑容，但她从来就不曾因此而流泪，因为，她是个老师。
In the colorful city, Xia is not happy at all, in her mind, there are only broken classroom and sadness and disappointed eyes of students. She walked into a Hair-Saloon, lay down on a dirty bed, and accept her 2nd dirty business. In that night, in her diary, she wrote : 'Minister can! 't even compare to her 1st customer. At least they pay.'
她将自己的收入除去生活费之后，全部寄给了校长。校长按照殷彩霞的意思将她寄回的一笔笔嫖资全都用于改善小学的教学条件上。有人问起那笔钱的来源，校长就说那是社会捐助的善款。
She sends all her earnings except those for her to live on to headmaster. Headmaster follows her instruction to use the money on the school. People ask about the source of the money and headmaster only answer that it was from some donation of society.
世上没有不透风的墙，有一天终于从邮局传来消息说那些钱是殷老师寄来的。当地媒体得知这一消息后纷纷试图采访殷彩霞，但都被她婉言谢绝了，因为，她是个妓女。
After a while, people knows about the source of money is from the teacher and many reporters would like to interview her and she just refused and the reason is that she is just a prostitute.
有钱了，学校变了，第一个月，买了黑板，修了屋顶。第二个月，有了木制的课桌与板凳。第三个月，所有的孩子都有了课本。第四个月，所有的孩子都有了红领巾。第五个月，已经没有孩子光着脚丫上课了。
With the money, the school changed. First month, there is a new blackboard. 2nd month, a wooden table and chair. 3rd month, all children has their own books. 4th month, all children has a red tie. 5th month, no children go to school bare leg.
第六个月，殷彩霞回来了。当孩子们看到她的时候，争先恐后地叫她 '殷老师……殷老师回来了……殷老师好漂亮啊……'? ？吹胶⒆用羌ざ�的笑脸，殷彩霞哭了，这半年里，多少的委屈和泪水，在她眼里都那么的有价值
On the 6th month, Xia come back. All students welcome her happily and say 'Teacher is so beautiful'... With all student's smiling face, Xia cries.. how many tear drops and how many sadness in the past 6 months.. she feels worthy when she see all these.
在家呆了几天，殷老师又踏上了南下的路。
After few days at home, she goes back to city.
第七个月，有了操场。 第八个月，有了篮球。第九个月，有了新铅笔。 第十个月，学校有了自己的国旗? �孩子们每天都能够在操场上看到国旗冉冉升
在第十一个月，一个房地产商坚持不用套，结果让殷老师意外怀孕了，打完胎后，殷老师成了房地产商的二奶。可那位包养她半年的房产商因为因近段时间深圳房价陡降而抛弃了她，一分钱没付。
7th month, built a ball park, 8th month, basketball, 9th month, all students has their new pencils. 10th month, the school has their own national flag, students raise the national flags daily. 11th month, a land-developer refuse to use condom and Xia pregnant. After abortion, she become the developer's mistress. After a few months, the developers dump her because he faced problem on land-value drop in Sheng Xhen, he didn't pay her 1 cent.
殷彩霞终于疲倦了，她想回家，她想回到孩子们的身边，可她最大的梦想是为孩子们盖上一间砖砌的教室，再为孩子们买上两台电脑，因为这个梦想还没实现，所以她只能回头去苦苦哀求那位房产商。房产商说没钱，但可以为她介绍一笔大生意，一老外，愿意出三千美元买她一夜。想到几年前的那阵大风，殷彩霞拖着疲惫的身躯爬上了老外的床。她发誓，过了那个晚上她就回到她久别的家乡，回到她久别的课堂。
Xia feel tired, she think of go home and go back to the school, but she has yet to fulfill student's dream which are building a concrete classroom and 2 PCs for the students. Because of these, she went back to beg the developer and the developer just refuse to pay anything but only introduce a foreigner to her. Said the foreigner will pay her 3000rmb for 1 night. Think of the wild rain happen few days ago, she tiredly goes to the foreigner's hotel. She swore that she will go back to her home and school after this.
可就在那个晚上，殷老师被三个外国人强奸致死。死前她才刚过完自己21岁的生日。
She killed by the 3 foreigner because of rape. She just turned 21yrs.
殷老师死了，她没能完成她最后的夙愿，那就是给孩子们盖上一间砖砌的教室，再为孩子们买上两台电脑
Xia died without fulfill her final wish which to build a concrete classroom and 2 PCs. ……
一个妓女死了，悄无声息。深圳的天空还是那么蓝，官员们在豪华宴席上高谈阔论，道! 路上行驶的高级轿车散发着耀眼的光芒。兴奋的人们滔滔不绝地谈论着股票、房价和车市，还有电影、音乐和爱情。路边亲亲我我恋爱的小青年们为了一点小事要死要活。
A hooker dies, silently, the sky of Sheng Zhen is still as blue as before, ministers still happily sitting in their office, many expensive cars still running on street, people happily discussing share market, house market value, car value, and movies, music and love story. Youngster try to suicide because of small matters happen between themselves.
可在此时，甘肃那个人们已经忘记了的小山村，正在举行只有学生、老师和数百位沉痛的村民的追悼会。
At this time, students, teachers and few hundreds of villagers attending the funeral in this small village 'GanShu'
追悼会上，人们看到殷彩霞的一张黑白照片，照片里，她扎着两个麻花辫，笑得如此单纯。校长翻开殷彩霞的日记，当着孩子们的面老泪纵横地朗读起来，她这样写道：卖一次淫，可以帮助一! 名失学儿童；当一回二奶，可以拯救一所希望小学…
校的国旗降了一半。
In the funeral, people see a black and white photo of Xia. In the photo, she has 2 pony tails and happily smile.. Headmaster open the diary of Xia and read in front of all students, she wrote : ' Each prostitution, can help one schooless child; become a mistress onc! e, can rescue a hopeless primary school...'
The national flag lowered to its half..... May be, this is the ONLY national flag lowered half because of a GREAT hooker in China 's history.
或许，这是中国历史上，第一个为一个伟大的妓女而降的国旗。
多好感言：写这篇文章，我整整哭了两个小时。从今以后，我再也不会歧视任何妓女，因为她们当中有一个殷彩霞。真诚希望大家多转载此文，? �满各个论坛和空间．让我们的父母官们看看，当他们在台上高谈阔论的时候，当他们在酒桌前恍酬交错的时候，当他们以权谋私的时候，当他们在台上学习三个代表的时候，多想想那个不是共产党员的殷彩霞和万千处于水深火热的穷苦百姓。彩霞在那个世界在用哀求的眼神望着我们�?/SPAN>
殷彩霞虽然身为妓女，但她比谁都活得高尚，比谁都活得有尊严。在人心冷漠、肉欲横流之下，她给予孩子们的爱难道不是我们社会最可贵的'大爱'
After I read this, I cried for 2 hours. From now on, I won't discriminate any hooker, because among them there is a Xia. Hope you will forward this mail to all forum, friends, webspaces, to let all our governments to understand when they are saying and empty-promissing, when they are drinking in the pub, when they are doing dirty politics, Someone using her own power to change the world. Xia is using her sadly eye to look at all of us. Although she is just a hooker, she is more clean and saint than any of us. In this cold and dirty society, what she gave to the students are human's 'Great Love'.
殷彩霞带着未完成的遗憾离开了这个世界，作为生者，我们理当完成彩霞的遗志，在这个寒冷的冬天，多给千百万穷苦的人们、多给社会奉献我们的爱心和责任。奉献给大家这篇感人的故事，愿我们每个人都能够开心的生活，为社会多奉献点爱心。
希望大家把这帖子多转转 灵魂的震撼！
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Lonely platform
Sedih...
Sad...
Right now, I feel as though I am waiting on a lonely train platform. I've been here for as long as I know, but somehow when I arrived here the train was already gone. Even though I tried to run after it, I couldn't. Sometimes it seemed close, but when I try to grip it with my hands, it slipped away. Then I had to just let go.
I stopped running, then my steps slowed down to a stop. I could only stand there and stare at the moving train. With every second passing, it moved away, getting smaller and smaller then eventually it disappeared from view.
Why it didn't wait for me?
I can't move. I am stuck at this lonely platform.
I hate being alone even though I am strong enough to stand it.
But being strong is tiring.
Why did others managed to get on the train?
It is supposed to be my place! Mine!
So unfair and I despise the whole situation.
But when I think about it, I don't want to get on the train with those people. Let them go.
Maybe I'll switch my destination.
Maybe that time no one would tell me that I'm not worth it, that I have no chance at all to get on the train.
Maybe there is a reason that is beyond my comprehension.
Maybe that would make all the difference.
Maybe...just this once it would be better.
.
.
.
.
.
Gotta have faith!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Sama tak serupa
Assalamualaikum
Hari ni dah 10 Ramadhan, tinggal 20 hr je lagi sebelum Ramadhan meninggalkn kita.
Moga2 Ramadhan kali ni bermanfaat :)
Semalam berbuka puasa dengan ayam tandoori n roti nan..hehe, teringin sungguh semalam. Memang best!
Plan asal ialah beli nasi kari, tapi tukar fikiran last minute.
Semalam hajat Lili nak makan tau fu fa kt pasar sec6 x tercapai, pakcik soya tu xde. Tapi, bertentangan dengan tempat pakcik soya tu ada gerai jual kuih yg goreng2 mcm jemput-jemput, cempedak goreng n mungkin juga pisang goreng (x nampak pun pisang semalam, tp mcm patut ada je kt gerai mcm tu kn hehe---educated guess la konon).
Bau cempedak goreng mmg sangat menggoda...terus terasa mcm ade tarikan magnet ke gerai tu. Lagipun x ramai sangat dah orang sebab masa tu da lewat, so pegilah beli.
Sampai kt meja gerai tu, ada 2 talam yang besar. Satu ngan label 4 biji rm2.00 (yang dalam talam ni saiz besar skit) dan satu lagi rm 2.00 5 biji (saiznya secara relatif lebih kecil).
Tanpa berfikir panjang order, "Bang, saya nak yang besar ni rm 2.00."
Dapat la 4 biji. Happy gila! Hahahahahahaha
Malam tu masa berbuka makan la sebiji...pastu hairan, apsal cempedak ni isi die sangat tebal? Pastu terfikir yang, wah, bagusnya isi die tebal, sangat berbaloi!
Kak Liza n Lili pun makan, tapi xde ape2 komen pun.
Then masa sahur makan la sebiji yang last...tiba2 terfikir lagi..apsal la isi cempedak ni macam tebal n lain skit. Pastu mula la belek-belek n perhatikan struktur kuih yang sedang dimakan (saintis la katakan...huhuhu). Tiba- tiba tergelak besar, Lili pun terkejut. Ya Allah, rupanya bukan cempedak, tapi nangka! Wakakaka cempedak sudah menjadi nangka! Or lebih kepada nangka disangka cempedak?
Boleh tak, lansung x sedar yang dari semalam tu memang makan nangka, boleh plak hairan2 sendiri.
Memang lansung x perasan, ye la, bau goreng semalam cempedak (suspek utama: yang saiz kecik 5 rm2.00 tu!) tapi terbeli nangka plak.
Itu la, kadang2 apa yang kita nak, kita tak dapat.
Semalam makan nangka tu, sedap aje. Memang tip top xde masalah.
Jadi, kadang2 kita dapat benda bukan lah yang seperti kita minta, tapi mungkin itu lebih baik untuk kita.
Kalau x belek, mmg xkan perasan sebab rasanya sedap juga. Bukan cempedak je yang sedap.
Oleh sebab itu, janganlah asyik bertanya: "kenapa aku x dapat yang itu?"
Kena yakin pada Allah, pastilah apa yang kita dapat sekarang adalah yang sebenar- benarnya takdir kita. Diberi-Nya perkara2 yang akan membawa kita lebih dekat padaNya. Apa yang terbaik untuk kita bukanlah semuanya kesenangan, lagipun, kalau tidak diuji, mana kita tau nilai kita sebenarnya?
Sekarang ni, memang senang untuk mempersoalkan banyak perkara, tapi apa gunanya? Akhirnya apa yang ada padaku memang nangka, selamanya tidak akan jadi cempedak. Buang ke tanah pun, kalau tumbuh jadi pokok nangka. Takkan nyer die mutate jadi pokok cempedak pulak.
Apa- apa hal pun, sangat happy dengan nangka tu, xpe la x dapat cempedak pun. Maybe next time ;)
Hari ni dah 10 Ramadhan, tinggal 20 hr je lagi sebelum Ramadhan meninggalkn kita.
Moga2 Ramadhan kali ni bermanfaat :)
Semalam berbuka puasa dengan ayam tandoori n roti nan..hehe, teringin sungguh semalam. Memang best!
Plan asal ialah beli nasi kari, tapi tukar fikiran last minute.
Semalam hajat Lili nak makan tau fu fa kt pasar sec6 x tercapai, pakcik soya tu xde. Tapi, bertentangan dengan tempat pakcik soya tu ada gerai jual kuih yg goreng2 mcm jemput-jemput, cempedak goreng n mungkin juga pisang goreng (x nampak pun pisang semalam, tp mcm patut ada je kt gerai mcm tu kn hehe---educated guess la konon).
Bau cempedak goreng mmg sangat menggoda...terus terasa mcm ade tarikan magnet ke gerai tu. Lagipun x ramai sangat dah orang sebab masa tu da lewat, so pegilah beli.
Sampai kt meja gerai tu, ada 2 talam yang besar. Satu ngan label 4 biji rm2.00 (yang dalam talam ni saiz besar skit) dan satu lagi rm 2.00 5 biji (saiznya secara relatif lebih kecil).
Tanpa berfikir panjang order, "Bang, saya nak yang besar ni rm 2.00."
Dapat la 4 biji. Happy gila! Hahahahahahaha
Malam tu masa berbuka makan la sebiji...pastu hairan, apsal cempedak ni isi die sangat tebal? Pastu terfikir yang, wah, bagusnya isi die tebal, sangat berbaloi!
Kak Liza n Lili pun makan, tapi xde ape2 komen pun.
Then masa sahur makan la sebiji yang last...tiba2 terfikir lagi..apsal la isi cempedak ni macam tebal n lain skit. Pastu mula la belek-belek n perhatikan struktur kuih yang sedang dimakan (saintis la katakan...huhuhu). Tiba- tiba tergelak besar, Lili pun terkejut. Ya Allah, rupanya bukan cempedak, tapi nangka! Wakakaka cempedak sudah menjadi nangka! Or lebih kepada nangka disangka cempedak?
Boleh tak, lansung x sedar yang dari semalam tu memang makan nangka, boleh plak hairan2 sendiri.
Memang lansung x perasan, ye la, bau goreng semalam cempedak (suspek utama: yang saiz kecik 5 rm2.00 tu!) tapi terbeli nangka plak.
Itu la, kadang2 apa yang kita nak, kita tak dapat.
Semalam makan nangka tu, sedap aje. Memang tip top xde masalah.
Jadi, kadang2 kita dapat benda bukan lah yang seperti kita minta, tapi mungkin itu lebih baik untuk kita.
Kalau x belek, mmg xkan perasan sebab rasanya sedap juga. Bukan cempedak je yang sedap.
Oleh sebab itu, janganlah asyik bertanya: "kenapa aku x dapat yang itu?"
Kena yakin pada Allah, pastilah apa yang kita dapat sekarang adalah yang sebenar- benarnya takdir kita. Diberi-Nya perkara2 yang akan membawa kita lebih dekat padaNya. Apa yang terbaik untuk kita bukanlah semuanya kesenangan, lagipun, kalau tidak diuji, mana kita tau nilai kita sebenarnya?
Sekarang ni, memang senang untuk mempersoalkan banyak perkara, tapi apa gunanya? Akhirnya apa yang ada padaku memang nangka, selamanya tidak akan jadi cempedak. Buang ke tanah pun, kalau tumbuh jadi pokok nangka. Takkan nyer die mutate jadi pokok cempedak pulak.
Apa- apa hal pun, sangat happy dengan nangka tu, xpe la x dapat cempedak pun. Maybe next time ;)
Monday, September 08, 2008
Window to one's soul
People say that eyes are the window to the soul..they say that if you look into someone's eyes long and deep enough, it'd reveal the person's true self.
Through time, the most effective communication medium would have to be talking face to face. Because communication is just so much more than empty words, it has to be substantiated by gestures, emotions and also assessment of reaction when posed with an action.
God help us in this world today where people no longer need to see each other to talk. Why bother? We have our emails, our chatboxes, our handphones, our letters. You could be stuck in your house for a whole year in front of the computer using the internet, surviving only on online deliveries but you'd still be considered "connected".
This is the reason why miscommunication is becoming more common everyday.
When some of the essential elements of communication are missing, it cease to be a full reality. It is more of a fantasy and misconceptions. Because, you see, when these elements are lacking, then the human mind would try and attempt to fill those gaps by imagining what the other person looks like, what that person is feeling, what that person is thinking. Majority of the population are rushing, heading the wrong way fast. This is all because communication has no pressing need for the human touch.
Do you ever notice that words in sms could be read in a different tone and it sends a whole different message altogether?
The way the person interpret our message without the necessary visual cues and signals is not in our control. That is totally in that person's control. So as you very well know, when the mind roam free it would be guided by emotions and preconceptions. Eventually the mind would reach a conclusion, but often this conclusion is way off target. It is almost always wrong.
What is worse is that when the mind comes to a conclusion that the mind thought up by itself, it wouldn't budge. It is hard to change once the mind is made up. We still think it is true even though there is no hard evidence to back that claim.
I agree that the ability to draw conclusion out of nothing at all is sometimes necessary when we are facing new situations, new problems. We way we act when faced with something we never encountered before would be dictated by our past experiences, our sentiments, our emotional state at the time, our level of knowledge and education, our desires, our fears and our conscience. All of these factors would have an influence on our actions. It would determine whether you'd stay or go away? Would you hide away or face it head on? Would you stop or keep going?
......But I think that it is not wise to always follow blindly a generalization made by your mind. Keep your mind and heart open for the remote possibility that this time, this one time it would be different. Give that person a chance to prove his/her worth.
However, when you discover that all is not what it seem to be, do not dwell there a second longer, move on, start over. But don't shut down your mind and heart, who knows, the next time it would be different? ;)
Have faith people!
************************************************************************************
Decisions..decisions...What is life without them anyway? In the end, you would be held responsible for your choices. Even in the afterlife, you'd still be asked about your choices.
Why you did that and not this? Why'd you take a left when you could have taken a right? Why'd you choose wrong when you could choose right?
It is not whether you could, but rather a question of whether you would.
Through time, the most effective communication medium would have to be talking face to face. Because communication is just so much more than empty words, it has to be substantiated by gestures, emotions and also assessment of reaction when posed with an action.
God help us in this world today where people no longer need to see each other to talk. Why bother? We have our emails, our chatboxes, our handphones, our letters. You could be stuck in your house for a whole year in front of the computer using the internet, surviving only on online deliveries but you'd still be considered "connected".
This is the reason why miscommunication is becoming more common everyday.
When some of the essential elements of communication are missing, it cease to be a full reality. It is more of a fantasy and misconceptions. Because, you see, when these elements are lacking, then the human mind would try and attempt to fill those gaps by imagining what the other person looks like, what that person is feeling, what that person is thinking. Majority of the population are rushing, heading the wrong way fast. This is all because communication has no pressing need for the human touch.
Do you ever notice that words in sms could be read in a different tone and it sends a whole different message altogether?
The way the person interpret our message without the necessary visual cues and signals is not in our control. That is totally in that person's control. So as you very well know, when the mind roam free it would be guided by emotions and preconceptions. Eventually the mind would reach a conclusion, but often this conclusion is way off target. It is almost always wrong.
What is worse is that when the mind comes to a conclusion that the mind thought up by itself, it wouldn't budge. It is hard to change once the mind is made up. We still think it is true even though there is no hard evidence to back that claim.
I agree that the ability to draw conclusion out of nothing at all is sometimes necessary when we are facing new situations, new problems. We way we act when faced with something we never encountered before would be dictated by our past experiences, our sentiments, our emotional state at the time, our level of knowledge and education, our desires, our fears and our conscience. All of these factors would have an influence on our actions. It would determine whether you'd stay or go away? Would you hide away or face it head on? Would you stop or keep going?
......But I think that it is not wise to always follow blindly a generalization made by your mind. Keep your mind and heart open for the remote possibility that this time, this one time it would be different. Give that person a chance to prove his/her worth.
However, when you discover that all is not what it seem to be, do not dwell there a second longer, move on, start over. But don't shut down your mind and heart, who knows, the next time it would be different? ;)
Have faith people!
************************************************************************************
Decisions..decisions...What is life without them anyway? In the end, you would be held responsible for your choices. Even in the afterlife, you'd still be asked about your choices.
Why you did that and not this? Why'd you take a left when you could have taken a right? Why'd you choose wrong when you could choose right?
It is not whether you could, but rather a question of whether you would.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Dugaan Nya
Dugaan Nya by Hujan
Bapanya mahukannya jadi seorang askar,
bukan cita-citanya,
bukan impiannya.
Dia terlalu muda tuk tinggalkan keluarga,
bila tiba masanya,
pilu mula terasa.
Berkecamuk hati,hatinya sendiri,
persoalannya kini,sampai bila mampu ku bertahan,
mampukah ku bertahan?
wowo,
Nampak ketarakah dilema di wajah ku,
wowo,
Diluarnya tenang tapi tuhan saja tahu.
wowo,
Nampak ketarakah dilema di wajah ku,
wowo,
Diluarnya tenang tapi tuhan saja tahu.
Beginikah selalunya cinta,
diakhiri sengsara,
setelah dicurahkan semua.
Cuba ku dalami,
sampai termimpi mimpi,
namun apa yang ku jumpa,
semuanya sama.
Berkecamuk hati,hatinya sendiri,
persoalannya kini,sampai bila mampu ku bertahan,
mampukah ku bertahan?
wowo,
nampak ketarakah dilema di wajah ku,
wowo,
diluarnya tenang tapi tuhan saja tahu.
wowo,
nampak ketarakah dilema di wajah ku,
wowo,
diluarnya tenang tapi tuhan saja tahu.
Ini semua dugaan Nya,(2X)
This is currently my fav song. I can identify with the guy in this song...
Can I hold on much longer? coz right now, letting go seem to be more and more desirable...
Sometimes being strong is soooooo tiring.
It's good to know that when we let go, there's something waiting for us at the bottom to break the fall. Coz if there is nothing there, I would fall hard on my face and never get up again.
Imagine, pieces of my brain laced with fresh red blood lying everywhere...gory sight.
So I better not let go.
Hold on!
***********************************************************************************
Why does lately my posts depict love?
Coz I'm losing faith in it.
So, to restore the faith, I have to remind myself that love is bigger than all of us put together.
If you hope for love, ask from the One that owns love.
The problem is that we keep asking from people things that they could never give.
Ask from the One that has it all.
************************************************************************************
Yesterday I watched a Korean movie, "Old maid diaries"
[as opposed to the princess diaries..hehe]
Seriously, I fear that there may be a chance that I could end up like the heroine...an old maid.
Coz what happened to her keep happening to me too.
Beginikah selalunya cinta,All are the same...no different.
diakhiri sengsara,
setelah dicurahkan semua.
Cuba ku dalami,
sampai termimpi mimpi,
namun apa yang ku jumpa,
semuanya sama.
Doesn't matter...
Ini semua dugaan NyaThis is what I believe.
Yeah, I know, stupid for wanting something like this.
Yeah, I know, you'll only tell me that it is only natural..part of being a person.
But I don't want to want something that I can never have. Got to get a grip.
Reality is all me.
....(however, the ground seem unreal sometimes)
Pergilah perasaanI leave you with that to ponder.
Tinggalkan tubuhku kosong
bagai angkasa yang tiada berudara...
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