Friday, October 31, 2008

Making a mark in world: Stand up


These Hard Times - Matchbox Twenty


I'm shocked by the ignorance...check out this link, particularly the comments after the article:
The Truth About Muslims in America

So what are we going to do?
...but before that, do you care at all this is happening?
Are you just going to sit there, yapping away about all the injustices of the world, declining to vote because you think all politicians are doomed to hell anyway and just go about your life, distancing yourself from the world just because you can't stand it?
Please, go away.
You don't earn the right to do anything because you stand up for nothing.
You are like a balloon, big but just full of air. You burst when provoked, produce a loud bang but then there is nothing. It's like you never existed.
Everyone keeps talking
They promise you everything
But they don't mean anything
You're just satisfied with what you have now, thinking that "yeah, that's enough" and never even tried to do something more because you're too satisfied and proud of who and what you are now?
Or if you are affected by the events, you just give it a thought for 2 seconds or so and then revert back to your daily lives?
Or if you're more than that, you're sad and determined to do something about it but then you take a step back, look at the bumpy road ahead and say to yourself, "can I do it? Is it my destiny? Maybe other people who are better than me will come and do it..." after which you just shrug your shoulders, "Ah, well..." and then walk away without a second thought. All the time thinking that you've made the right decision.
Move your hands in circles
Keeping me hypnotized
The power behind your eyes
Move around your bedroom cursing the naked sky
You should be here tonight
But you stay alone and cry
...sorry to burst your bubble but you're dead wrong.
If you can see, you can do something. If you can talk, then you can do something. If you can walk, then you should do something.

C'mon, get real. Of course there are people better than you. MAYBE they'll do the job better but are you just going to sit around and wait? What if the better person came but it was already too late to do anything?
During that that time, who'll take blame? Who'll shoulder the responsibility of a lost chance?

Maybe you're thinking, why am I so angry anyway?
I am surprised and a bit scared of the ignorance plaguing the world in general (muslims and non-muslims alike).
The most dangerous thing is a wannabe hero that thinks he knows everything but in fact know only distorted truths.
A hero that live only for the masses. Feeding the fear because that is what makes them heroes.
Truth have no value because it'll give no profit or gain.
I keep thinking, what times are we living in now?
And could it be worse in the future?
Maybe, if the young generation now are still ignorant and have no desire to see truth triumph.
Remember: keeping silent won't make the problem go away.
Don't undermine your own ability.
If you believe, that alone would give you strength to go on.
Say goodbye, these days are gone
And we can't keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times
(whoa) There's something missing
(Oh whoa) You'll never feel it but you
(Oh whoa) You're gonna feel it when it's gone
When it's gone
Don't let anyone make a fool of you. If you do nothing, they'll think it's ok. Don't just be patient and hold on. Fight!
...and then hold on. Hold on with all your might.

***********************************************************************************
Some of you may think, "Ah, another with their heads in the clouds."
I am not a dreamer.
I just believe.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Unrequited love is love incomplete


Lyrics | Kukatakan Dengan Indah lyrics

This song is for the broken and lost...
They fall in and out of love so hard that they never knew what hit them. All they know is that they are left with an ache in their hearts and a confused feeling.

These people are like innocent prisoners trapped in an underground dungeon; alone, afraid and forgotten.When they were finally released from the trappings of love, they walked out with a slight limp and shading their eyes from the glares of the sun they hadn't seen in years. Freedom is now foreign to them, they do not know what to do with it. Looking down the long road ahead, they know that they have to let go and start again. Praying incessantly that they wouldn't fall into the dark dungeon again...

Who are the people responsible for sentencing these poor souls to prison? Rather, they are more like irresponsible people. These people do not realize that their words and actions carry weight.They don't mean to make you love them, it's just something they do. They dance through life day by day, never realizing that they are trampling on the lives of others. It is not like they want to be like that. As they say, ignorance is bliss. What you don't know won't hurt you. When they finally realized what they've done, it is often too late. The other is already broken.

For me, ignorance is not an excuse. You can't say simply, "Oh, I didn't mean it that way" or "So sorry, didn't realize you felt that way". The minute you say that, you are saying that the other party is a poor judge of the situation.You got to respect others. Be responsible. Please do not start something you know you can't finish. Life is not a simple game. You can't lose and start over. Surely, if it is then the game would have been banned right now, considering how many lives it had claimed under the name of love.

I think it is hard for someone to not notice that somebody is vying for their hearts. As Dr Fadzilah Kamsah once said, "If someone loves you, you'll know". If you know that someone is waiting for you, please do not let them wait forever. Who are you to make them wait? You think you're that great, huh? Let them go so that could let you go too. Often people don't know what to do so they just let the people who love them be, never giving an indication of what the true situation is. They hide under the excuse, "I don't want to hurt him/her" or "Maybe if I ignore him/her long enough, they'll forget."
So immature. So unrealistic. You're only making it worse.
Like the character in Jerry Maguire, "If you don't love her, you got to tell her".

Ultimately, you are not truthful. You are not to be trusted with something so precious like a heart anymore. You just can't handle the enormity of the task.
Like I always say, a heart is essentially an amanah. If you can't uphold the amanah, you should not take it in the first place or you would have to answer for it in the afterlife.

But, my friend, if you really did not realize that someone loves you, then it is another story. If it is not intentional, then it is okay. It is still not right, but just okay. But bear in mind that once you realize it, you have to make a decision: to accept or not. Either way, you should do it gently and with respect. Then only you are worthy of love.

Now I think I know why some people hide their feelings. They're afraid they'll be rejected, they're afraid that they'll look stupid [ya..I know this part...]. For me the saying "It is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all" is bull. I reject it. Rather, for me this quote summarizes it beautifully:
"Love is like playing a deck of cards. If the other person knows what card you're holding, then they control how the game will end"

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Kosong kontang

Slm
...terasa seperti tidak ada apa-apa. Kosong.
Nak bercakap pun, seperti tiada apa yg bagus untuk dikongsikan.

..perasaan kosong bukanlah sesuatu yang pelik. Banyak je yang berperasaan serupa.

So kenapa la tulis kan? Habiskan masa saja.
Kosong, tapi semacam ada rasa untuk diisi dengan sesuatu.

Rasa hati yang kosong menandakan jiwa yang kontang jugakah?
Seperti bumi yang dilimpahi sinar matahari terlalu lama hingga merekah tanahnya. Sikit saja diusik, tanah itu roboh kerana ia rapuh.

Kenapa mencari jauh-jauh untuk simbahan rahmat yang menyejukkan?
Tiada ditempat lain.
Cuma,
Dongaklah keatas, tadahlah tangan.
Itu saja.

Words of a Nobel Laureate

On Being a Scientist: A Personal View

by John C. Polanyi*
1986 Nobel Laureate in Chemistry
12 March 2001

intro

Doing Science

Science never gives up searching for truth, since it never claims to have achieved it. It is civilizing because it puts truth ahead of all else, including personal interests. These are grand claims, but so is the enterprise in which scientists share. How do we encourage the civilizing effects of science? First, we have to understand science.

Scientia is knowledge. It is only in the popular mind that it is equated with facts. That is of course flattering, since facts are incontrovertible. But it is also demeaning, since facts are meaningless. They contain no narrative.

Science, by contrast, is story-telling. This is evident in the way we use our primary scientific instrument, the eye. The eye searches for shapes. It searches for a beginning, a middle, and an end.

What we see is as a consequence, culturally conditioned. This is open to misunderstanding. It might be construed to mean that our conclusions are simply a matter of taste, which they are not. Though we explore in a culturally-conditioned way, the reality we sketch is universal. It is this, at its most basic, that makes science a humane pursuit; it acknowledges the commonality of people's experience.

This in turn, implies a commonality of human worth. If we treasure our own experience and regard it as real, we must also treasure other people's experience. Reality is no less precious if it presents itself to someone else. All are discoverers, and if we disenfranchise any, all suffer.

It is important that we reflect upon our craft, since our understanding of science will inform public policy towards it – 'science policy' as it is called. For example, if seeing is a skill, then we should rely on those who have that skill to determine what science we do.

In Canada, we routinely offend against this principle. We have, for example, numerous 'Centres of Excellence' because we recognize that the skill on which discovery depends is possessed by a few. But then we proceed in evaluating such centres, to give only a legislated twenty percent weight to 'excellence'. A preposterous eighty percent is reserved for considerations having to do with 'socio-economic worth'.

Our assessment of socio-economic worth is largely a sham. We scientists should not lend ourselves to it - though we routinely do. We should, instead, insist on applying the criterion of quality. That this criterion is real, is evidenced by the awesome success of science – peer-reviewed science – in this century.

Have we failed, as scientists, to explain science? Seemingly. Have we, too often, kept silent because we thought it expedient? Undoubtedly.

Being a Citizen

Though neglectful of their responsibility to protect science, scientists are increasingly aware of their responsibility to society. But what is this responsibility?

Some dreamers demand that scientists only discover things that can be used for good. That is impossible. Science gives us a powerful vocabulary, and it is impossible to produce a vocabulary with which one can only say nice things.

Others think it the responsibility of scientists to coerce the rest of society, because they have the power that derives from special knowledge. But scientists, like any other group, are not permitted to seize the levers of power. Nor should they be blamed for failing to do so. They must work through democratic channels. Anything else would be incredible arrogance.

What responsibilities remain? Plenty. Scientists are only beginning to come to terms with them.

In the time that I have been a scientist, I have seen huge changes in our perception of these responsibilities. Let me give some examples.

In the late 1950s a major topic under discussion was whether Canada should acquire nuclear weapons. The United States was trying to get Canada to do the decent thing, and arm itself with nukes. The weapons were, after all, for the defense of North America.

Individual scientists like myself – and many more conspicuous – pointed to the dangers of radioactive fallout over Canada if we were to launch nuclear weapons to intercept incoming bombers. On the face of it, this was technical advice. But more truthfully it was a philosophical position. We chose to make our calculations concerning fall-out because we were opposed to the acquisition of nuclear weapons; not the reverse.

I do not mean to discount the technical element. I merely want to stress (as I did in the context of discovery) that what the scientist sees is influenced by what he believes.

Much the same applied to the next public debate, which had to do with nuclear fall-out shelters. Technical arguments were once more advanced (by myself, among others) to illustrate the absurdity of sheltering a nation from a determined nuclear attack. At a deeper level, however, we were objecting to an outlook according to which security was to be found in the life of a troglodyte.

We were appalled by the abandonment of attempts at coexistence in favour of the life of a mole. Better to die in the pursuit of civilized values, we believed, than in a flight underground. We were offering a value system couched in the language of science.

Around 1970 my scientist friends in the U.S. indoctrinated me in a fresh question of policy. In the war in Vietnam, the United States was using herbicides (Agent Orange) and a tear gas (CS2). This could well be construed as being in contravention of the Geneva Protocol, which for almost half a century had banned the use of chemical weapons. It was, at that date, one of the few instruments of international law regulating the use of weapons, and was correspondingly precious.

I went off to see our Ministers of Defence and of Foreign Affairs, as well as the Prime Minister. God knows how I got into their offices, but I did. They gave me a hard time – as was proper – protesting, "these things are used for killing weeds and for riot control; how can you say they are weapons of war?" The answer was that when employed to prosecute a war, they had become weapons of war. They were being used to expose the enemy, so as to kill him.

One does not need to be a chemist to make that point. But it helps to come from a community with a commitment to objectivity, and a degree of independence from special interests. Under this scientific and moral pressure, the Canadian government conceded publicly that the use of these weapons in Vietnam was, in their view, a contravention of the Geneva Protocol. The government of the United States was not pleased.

What we in the scientific community were seeking, in our idealism, was a world ruled by law. The moral force that we brought to this debate derived from our membership in an international community ruled by law – albeit unwritten law. For without the acceptance and enforcement of standards of probity, there would be no functioning scientific community.

And without steps being taken to widen this realm of rule-based co-operation, beyond the narrow bounds of science and similar professions, there will be anarchy leading ultimately to all-out war. But technology had made such war intolerable. The solution is to be found not in more technology, but in less war.

When in March 1983 President Reagan announced the Strategic Defense Initiative (SDI), popularly known as Star Wars, this issue was clearly joined. President Reagan was offering a technical fix to the threat of nuclear war. The SDI, he made it clear, was to be the scientist's antidote to the nuclear poison. However, in the process of distributing this illusory antidote, we were to abandon the only genuine defence against nuclear missiles, which lay as it still lies, in institutionalised restraint.

The SDI was an invitation to a new arms race; one in nuclear-shields which would proceed in parallel to the continuing arms race in swords. With missile-defences back in the news today, this is a lesson to remember.

In the course of these political struggles, scientists became increasingly aware of themselves as an international non-governmental organization. This NGO bases itself, I claim, not primarily on its technical expertise but on its moral tenets. In science, we have a group of individuals supporting one another, world-wide, in an endeavour whose success depends upon placing the truth ahead of personal advantage.

Not all succeed in doing this, but all are agreed in its necessity. In science, truth must take precedence not only over individual advantage, but also over 'group advantage' – sectional interests such as nationality, creed or ethnicity.

This assertion of higher purpose has made scientists (and all scholars) supporters of human rights. Our championing of human rights puts to rest the notion that what we are offering is primarily technical expertise. Technical expertise has nothing directly to do with human rights. It is once more the moral force of science – evident in such individuals as Einstein, Russell, Pauling, and Sakharov – that makes it effective.

Our community's voyage of self-discovery is not over. I believe that it will lead us to a more active support of democracy, wherever it is threatened.

That notion would have seemed preposterous when I began my life as a scientist. But no longer. Today, Academies of Science use their influence around the world in support of human rights. They should do the same for democracy, for the death of democracy is the death of free enquiry. The bell tolls for us.

*This article was published previously in The Globe and Mail (Canada), 29 April 2000 issue.
From: http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/chemistry/articles/polanyi/index.html

Sunday, October 26, 2008

When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is UP


Lyrics | Face Down lyrics

Honestly, I think men nowadays don't have a clue as to how to treat a woman.
Don't they know that when a woman tells you she loves you, that is the hardest thing she ever had to say? When they tell you that, they are really giving away part of their heart (if not all of it) for you to decide what to do with it. Will you throw it away like dirt if you don't want it? Will you break it gently to her that you couldn't take it? Would you trash her in your blog? Will you just keep mum about it, pretending it never happened?....or if you DO want it, will treat her as she needed to be treated?
Or worse, you're unsure whether you want it or not. Then you hang around just because it is convenient for you. You whisper sweet empty words to her, just so that she build her whole life around you. But because all your actions did not come from the heart, you take her for granted. You push her around, hit her like a punchbag because you know she'll stay with you.
But for how long?
Like in the song, the woman has so fallen for this guy. Even if we all go and shout at her ear that the guy is a good-for-nothing dirt bag, she'll never listen. He is her whole life, you see.
In truth, I am puzzled that she doesn't see the guy as who he really is. Why is she so stupid to fall for a guy like that?
Is that what love can do to you?
God help us if it is.
Let me tell you a story.
I know this girl since high school. Back then, she's like the sunshine. Happy, carefree and a good friend. After high school, we separated and went our own ways. Occasionally we sms each other, see each other profiles in Friendster, the usual thing. I never suspected something was wrong.
But then, during my final year at university, she sent me an sms out of the blue, saying that I should check my mail as she sent me something.
What I read there, I never saw it coming.
She told me that she's been married for 2 years and already have a child. The reason that she contacted me was to say that one day when she came home from work, she caught her husband on their marriage bed naked with another woman. She's lost and don't know what to do.
...I was beyond stunned.
I tried knocking some sense into her..trying to be there when she needs me. I don't know why she told me, I don't know how to handle these things but I tried.
What I don't understand is that she is willing to forgive him. She's willing to return back to him not because of the child, but because she "loves" him.
Don't misunderstand me, I'm all for forgiveness. I know it's good to forgive and forget but somehow this doesn't seem to apply.
I think her husband don't even love her by the way that she treats her: he doesn't work, doesn't pay the rent, he just stays at home while my friend had to juggle between classes, part time job every night and her child. When she comes home every night her husband expect to be with his wife even though she's tired. Can you believe it? Sorry, but that sound nothing like an ideal marriage. It sounds more like parasitism.
Why does she stay? True, he doesn't hit her physically. But he is destroying her emotionally and mentally. My friend doesn't believe she'll ever be loved again, that she is unloveable. That is why she hold on to him even though he hurt her so bad.
I pity her but I don't know what to do.
...This story happened years ago and I heard that she is now divorced. My friend did not leave him, he left her for the girl on the bed.
My friend when I contacted her is still pining for him. Still saying that she loves him.
When I told her that she must forget him and move on, she got so mad. She's like a different person.
Until now I don't know what happened to her.
For me I think that maybe it is just as well that she is divorced. At least she now have no choice but to move on. It is a different kind of justice. Maybe in time my friend would find faith in herself again and be stronger as ever. I hope that life will work out for her. I hope she'll realize that she finally had enough.
Face down in the dirt
She said "This doesn't hurt!"
She said "I finally had enough!"
Yes, I do hope for the best. Tomorrow is another day, we can all start over again.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Apa yang dimulakan, perlu dihabiskan

Slm...
Terfikir sesuatu..kenapa sangat susah nak habiskan buku Ayat-ayat Cinta?
POyo x kalau cakap yang bukannya xde masa, bukannya malas, tapi diri ni macam berat je nak habiskan...

In truth, I've seen the movie. I am not at all satisfied with it because the storyline at the beginning is too slow and failed to hold attention much as it was quite boring. However, the story picked up pace after Fahri married Aisha. In a nutshell, the movie's not half bad. The movie sure have its moments where the sparkle of brilliance shone but then it sizzled out into nothing. For me, the movie is not complex at all but it attempt to deal with some very serious issues, it's like butter that's spread out too thin..trying its best to cover the whole bread. In the movie, the characters do not have the chance to develop and leave a mark and the issues tackled are not explored fully.
These are all the reasons why I thought that finishing the book is of paramount importance.
But I couldn't!

Hmm....kenapa ye? Padahal buku tu bukan tebal pun.
Macam ni lah, sebenarnye susah nak habiskan sebab expectation terhadap buku tu terlalu tinggi. Ramai orang yang dah baca, semua suruh aku baca.
"Bacalah Lisa, sure ko suke"
"Akak taknak bagitau cerita tu macam mana, Lisa bacalah, akak rasa sure Lisa suke"
...dan yang paling best:
"Lisa, aku xtau la kenapa tapi bila aku baca buku ni aku teringat kat kau. Bacalah!"
..n orang yang mengatakan ayat mencurigakan diatas telah menghadiahkan aku buku tersebut. Jadi, sebab banyak beno orang rekemen, aku pun google la. Memang hebat sampai dikatakan seperti sebuah fenomena. Betapa banyak orang yang terkesan dengan buku ini? Sangat banyak.

...
Boleh tak kalau aku katakan aku takut kalau-kalau aku pun terkesan?
Aku bukannya imun. Aku bukannya hati batu... [maybe lebih kepada hati ais batu kot, konon je teguh dingin, tapi sikit-sikit tanpa orang sedari, hati mencair sedikit demi sedikit... :P].
Takut pada kesannya!
Memanglah, ceritanya tentang cinta berlandaskan Islam. Ia bukan novel cinta kosong.
Tapi..
Hati wanita, sering berbolak-balik. Rapuh dan teguh pada waktu yang sama. Hati wanita boleh tahan bebanan yang tidak tersangka boleh ditahannya tapi boleh hancur kerana sekecil- kecil perkara yang memberi kesan padanya.
Takut aku jatuh!
Takut aku akan mahu sesuatu yang tak mungkin aku dapatkan.

Jadi, biarlah buku itu disitu. Aku akan baca, tapi...tak tahulah habis bila.

Apa yang pasti ialah jika sudah tersuratkan untuk terjadi, maka akan terjadi. Halang atau lari, takkan boleh sembunyi dari takdir. Redha, sabar dan syukur, itulah sebenarnya yang perlu sekarang. Keyakinan terhadap masa depan yang masih rahsia...kalaupun ia ada.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

What about now?

"What About Now"

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?


I think this song is about the trust in a relationship.

The big question is: what if?
I think the song is about a couple that's been in love for a long time, so long that both are already showing their true colors. However, because they've known each other for a long time simple but important words like "sorry", "I love you", "can I?", "would you?" are not considered a necessity anymore. They tend to forget that in truth the other person is still human, full of emotions and perceptions.
It is easy to trample on the hearts of the one you love just because you think they
have to stand it, they have to endure it as they are indeed your true love and have to accept you no matter what, no questions asked [this is also true for family members..why is it easy to hurt the ones you love most? sad-but-oh-so-true kinda thing..huhuhu].
This creates a quiet tension. Hurt feelings are not spoken, but stored deep in the heart until it aches every time you breathe. The hurt spread like a cancer, slowly but surely fading the love until one day it all burst all at once, making feelings that was once there disappear. Just like that. Its like a big explosion and then a sudden deathly silence.

The love that was once great is just not there anymore because the other person is taking you for granted. The person often does not realize it because they do love you but is too selfish to take you in their consideration. They didn't realize they've lost you.
One fine day when they finally realize that you're gone, they're struggling to keep the love alive, trying to mend past mistakes because they know that if they let go, they will lose you forever.

What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?
Hope although frail, is hard to die.
So they'll struggle with all their might to save the relationship.
Eventually it all comes to this: you either want it or you don't.
If you do, then hold on. Hold on with all you have. Pray. Pray because things are always bigger than me and you, bigger than the world.
Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.
**********************************************************************

Sometimes, after a relationship progresses to the next level the initial infatuation that blinds our judgment of a person often pass. We see the real person, we see them as who they really are.
At the same time we see the other person as who he/she is, we are also assessing ourselves.

Is he/she the right one?
Could this be for real?
Will we stand by her/him in facing life?
Would we have the drive to be with her/him in the future?

All this doubts occur in both parties. Both are assessing the other for the potential to make the person truly special in our life. This creates mixed emotions, doubts, distrust.
Not because they don't love you, it's just that in truth they are also trying to find the truth.
So my friend, be strong for the one you love. Love have to be tested to ensure its strength and purity. Hold on and trust the other person. Yeah, it is not easy. Not even remotely so. The situation is like you're falling into an endless abyss blindfold, hoping for all your heart that the one you love and trust would be there to catch your fall. They have to be there..because they're the reason you jumped in the first place. That is why we call it
falling in love.
....thank God it's not called crash and burning into love...hehe :P

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Geram pada diri sendiri

Slm
wah...penatnya minggu ni. Asyik balik malam je..tp diri sendiri masih x puas hati ngan hasil. Kene berusaha dapatkan lebih dari yang sekarang!
Ye la, hajat dihati nak grad cepat-cepat. Kalau tak pun, nak peringkat method development ni selesai.

Rehat [dalam erti kata sebenar-benarnya] hanya bila nyawa meninggalkan jasad.
Sebab bila habis satu perkara, perlulah dimulakan perkara yang lain pula. Macam tu la sampai bila- bila.

Tapi, apa apa hal pun, kene bersederhana. Pandai- pandailah jaga diri, sebab diri pun amanah juga. Percayalah pada hidup.

Inilah antara kesimpulan-kesimpulan yang sendiri dapat putuskan bila membaca Falsafah Hidup oleh Hamka [buku ni pun belum habis baca...bila la nak habiskan semua buku2 tu??].
Cubalah baca, mana tau kesimpulan- kesimpulan kita lain?
Boleh compare notes hehe ;P

****************************************************************************
Usaha, usaha juga. Tapi takkanlah rezeki hanya bergantung pada usaha kita saja?
Kalaulah Allah itu tidak Maha Pemurah dan diberinya sahaja yang setimpal dengan usaha kita, rasanya kita semua ni takkan boleh maju.
Syukurlah kerana Allah itu Maha Pemurah, Maha Pengasih.
Boleh kata ke usaha tu patut dapat sekian, sekian?
Buat satu, minta sejuta.
Kalau rasa boleh cakap macam tu pasal usaha sendiri, memanglah sangat bodoh sombong.
Macam ni la, tanya diri sendiri:
Kalau kehadiranmu itu tidak mengganjilkan dan tidak jua menggenapkan, apa dikisah kalau kau ada atau tiada?

p/s: Maaf atas kelaseranku yang tidak ditujukan pada sapa2 ni. Sebenarnya panahan laser itu untuk diri sendiri supaya sedar..

Dush!

"Aduh! sakitnyeeeeee"

Thursday, October 16, 2008

My 2 cents worth

slm
lama rase tak tulis cni..
banyak yg ada difikiran: kdg2 rasa ok je kalo tulis cni, tapi bila fikir panjang sikit...jadi mcm x sesuai plak.
Kadang2 ada perkara yg bagus kalau dibicarakan one-on-one, orang kata "pertemuan dua mata" ..err..ke pertemuan empat mata?
Ada perkara yang bagus dibincang dalam kumpulan kecil.
Ada pula perkara yang baik didiamkan saja.
Kadang2 bila nak tulis, ada satu sikap hati-hati, atau keinginan untuk membina suatu imej tentang diri. Kata- kata dalam blog ini adalah luahan hati si pemikir. Disini tempat semuanya dibentuk dan dijaga agar hasilnya sesuai dengan kemahuan diri.
Tak sama dengan hidup.
Dalam hidup, hal- hal yang terjadi bukan kita penentunya. Memanglah kita memainkan peranan yang besar dalam hidup sendiri (dah nama pun hidup sendiri) tapi outcome yang kita dapat bukan sentiasa seperti apa yang kita mahukan.
Dalam blog ni, kita boleh jadi apa- apa. Your mind will take you anywhere :)
Blog ni bolehlah dikatakan satu escapism dari life yang kadang-kadang bergerak terlalu pantas sampai kita rasa nak berhenti dan jerit, "Time out!"
Sebab tu, kalau orang kata yang melebih-lebih tentang blog kita, tentang perkara-perkara yang kita jaga dan bentuk sendiri ini, sangat menyakitkan.
*******************************************************************************

Setiap orang diuji mengikut kadar kemampuannya. Kemenangan hidup juga tercapai menurut kemampuan. Alam ini diatur dengan sebegitu rupa sehinggakan tiada satu pun yang sia- sia atau tidak perlu. Jangan mengukur diri dengan orang lain, itu takkan boleh adil sebab setiap kita unik.
Kadang- kadang tu hairan bila dengar orang bila bercerita masalah, mesti nak kata yang diri sendirilah yang paling sengsara, paling bermasalah. Untuk apa? Untuk simpati ke? Untuk orang memahami keadaan diri?
Memanglah setiap orang ada masalah masing-masing, tapi dengarkan saja lah. Tak perlu kata yang masalah orang itu lebih kecil berbanding masalah kita. Kita mana tahu betapa besar kesan masalah itu pada dirinya? Apa beban- beban lain yang terpaksa ditanggungnya sampai masalah kecil pun terasa sungguh beratnya?
Macam yang kata tadi, setiap kita unik.
Itu bukan masalah, itu anugerah.
Dijadikan kita berlainan untuk kita berkenal- kenalan.
..err, ni bukan syor untuk masuk ruang berkenalan majalah plak tau, tu da lain maksud tu...
Bagi saya, berkenal- kenalan itu boleh juga diertikan macam cuba bertoleransi sesama kita. Kita mungkin tidak akan mampu memahaminya, hatta diri sendiri pun x faham- faham. Tapi kalau sama- sama cari jalan tengah yang cukup luas untuk selesa dilalui oleh kedua-duanya, itupun alhamdulillah.
....this is what I think anyway.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

BioMalaysia 2008

BioMalaysia 2008
Kuala Lumpur Convention Center (KLCC)

Great news:
Wanie (one of my labmates) submitted a poster to compete in BioMalaysia as a representative of UiTM, and she won a GOLD medal! hahaha :D Congratulations to Prof Zaki, Dr Teh, Wanie and the rest of the team ;) There's only about 18 medals up for grabs and UiTM managed to bag 2 of them. Power to UiTM! Hahaha
..so don't play- play with UiTM, we mean business ;)

My role in making this dream a reality is just as one of the booth keeper (is that term right? kinda like a zookeeper :p). Anyone, and I mean anyone walk by our booth, then I'll flash them my most briliant smile :)
Other than that, I'm also the self-proclaimed official photographer for the event (at least for my team) eventhough some of the pictures were badly distorted because I didn't use the shake-free function (that's because that function have automatic flash===> the pictures won't look good).
These are some pictures of the event:


...actually during this event I was in shoe hell. My shoes we're killing me! At first I tried to endure it for some time...but it got worse. I was at a point where walking barefoot around KLCC doesn't seem like a bad idea. So I did just that, I removed my shoes and walked barefoot. I just ignored the stares people gave me. After Zuhur prayers, I bought slippers from Guardian Pharmacy and wore that. The stares didn't lessen, but it intensified. I think that was because of the slippers. Those slippers were bright baby blue with bright orange soles...hmm, what d'you expect? those slippers were meant to be worn at the beach, under sunny skies and white sand..not at a modern international shopping complex like KLCC.
But I really didn't give a damn. At least I was out of shoe hell..thank GOD.
When I got back home that night, I was flattened out, limp like a pancake. However, thinking back about it: spending time with my friends and supervisors; I wouldn't trade it for the world :)

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Drive

It has been a great and fulfilling raya for me this year :)
I suspect it's because I'm more involved in things now.
I noticed that after recent events that happened to me, I'm beginning to take charge of my life more.
My life motto as of right now is, "I am RESPONSIBLE for my own HAPPINESS."

This is the song that sums it all:
Drive
by Incubus

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much
I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer.
It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague,
haunting mass appeal.
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
should be the one behind the wheel.

Whatever tomorrow brings,
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes, Yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there..I'll be there.

So, if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
Aah-ah-oo-o-o.

It's driven me before and it seems to be the way
that everyone else gets around.
But lately I'm beginning to find that when
I drive myself my light is found.

Whatever tomorrow brings,
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes, Yeahhh
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there...I'll be there.

Would you choose water over wine....hold the wheel and drive?

Whatever tomorrow brings,
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes, Yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there..I'll be there.

My aim now is to focus on my research project, finish it all off, get a job, possibly get a husband too (notice that I don't put boyfriend? I think I don't have time for all those things..hish...getting all fed up I guess) and all the while focusing my attention to my family and dear friends.
I think that in the past I'm like a lone dandelion caressed by the wind. When the wind blows right, I'd go right. When the wind blows left, to the left I go.
No more.
I've talked to my Mom, and I think that if I don't get to convert my scholarship, then must try and complete this project as fast as I can, the best that I can.
I hope to get it all done before anything happens to Ayah.
I can only try, and try I will.

Dear Allah,
Please..please let my path be smooth..
It is YOU who knows what's in my heart, may I be bestowed with what is best according to YOUR knowledge.
Amin.