The Talk and The Tag

I can't wait for 2009 to come. Yeah, I know life is a continuous book and it doesn't mean that an ending of the year would mean an ending or beginning of anything. But I am excited anyway ;)
One more thing, the end of the year is not too late for the first of anything right?
Firstly, I've never gotten the "Talk". You know, the bewildering talk face to face when someone asks you The Question: When are you getting married?
Haha, honestly, I've never had the talk before (not that I remembered :p), people would just ask me, "When are you going to finish your studies?" all the while giving me the eye, but I just ignored it and say, "Maybe for 2 more years" and just walk off quickly because by the look that person gave me earlier I know I won't like where the conversation is heading ;) Quite sneaky huh?

But then...I could only get myself off the hook for so long. Last week, I got it from the most unlikeliest person: my uncle who just got married. Seriously, if you know him, you wouldn't believe he was the one who gave me my first "Talk". Haha, I just can't be serious even when he is talking of a very serious thing ---> it is just not like him. I laughed and asked him to stop because it's just too weird! But he just went right on and I just listened :) But I don't mind because I know that newly married people have this inexplicable urge to make anyone who is unattached to get hitched ASAP.
I've braced myself physically and mentally to deal with such aggressiveness toward my single and unattached status. Bring it on! Haha

Secondly, I've never been tagged before (mostly because this blog of mine is "out of the loop" hehe). So this is another first for me from Hani -->

Answer this bunch of question based on the opposite gender. no family members is allowed.

What is the relationship of you and him?
Long lost crush

Your 5 impressions towards him
1. more or less pious
2. doesn't show his piousness, hell gila tapi baik ;)
3. loves his mother
4. opinionated
5. dreamy heavenly eyes (I am thankful that there is no way he'll be reading this)

The most memorable things he had done for you
Once in class he was doing a group presentation and I asked a question for them. Then he walked up, put up his hands like he was stopping his friends from answering my question (depakan tangan..susah tul nk describe) and gave me his full attention, as if there was only me and him (--this is beginning to sound like a teen flick). And I melted.

The most memorable things he have said to you
Never said anything directly. It's the eyes, you know :p

If he becomes your enemy, you will...
Ignore him as always (what you don't know won't hurt you, right?)

If he becomes your enemy, the reason is...
Both of our Gigantic ego

The most desirable thing to do on him is...
Err...smile?

The overall impression of him?
Mr Too Perfect, gotta get over him.

How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
This quiet serious girl who is harmless like a mouse.

The character of you for yourself is...
An abstract thinker

The character you hate of yourself is...
My innate inability to intiate or engage in small talk

The most ideal person that you want to be is...
Someone who does much but expect less

For the people who care about and like you, say something about them
Thank you. If you'll tell me who you are I'll return it sevenfold :)

10 people to tag

(in random order)

1. Fizah
2. Fazleen
3. Wanie
4. Kak Nana
5. Sha
6. Z
7. Alifah
8. Fadil
9. Zam
10. Anyone who care to be tagged!

Who is no. 2 having a relationship with?
*Secret*

Is no. 3 a male or a female?
female

What is no. 1 studying about?
bacteria + oil ==> thesis

Is no. 4 single?
And available, if I might add

Who is no. 5?
Math genius in the lab

Say something about no. 6?
Always asking me to skip math class during matrix haha

---> This tag is all in good fun. Don't make things complicated k :)

No such thing as lucky

Do you believe there is such thing as coincidence? Luck?
I don't.
I used to but now I don't as I've thought about it for a while.
Yeah...I am one of those people that need to believe that everything happens for a reason and that what I am doing is somehow significant.
Too idealistic?
hmm..why not?
Do you seriously believe that the sun just "coincidentally" rise every morning after the moon?
Or that the food you ate just "coincidentally" digested itself from the complex and jumbled up mixture of chemicals to ultimately give you the strength to survive?
Seriously, if you know what's going on in your body, you'd be surprised that you survived at all if you applied the theory of coincidence to the basic function of digestion or breathing.
I think that to assume that everything is "coincidental" is quite a long shot, even impossible to the logical mind.
Ok, c'mon. Let us think about it a sec.
As an example, let's take something that we do everyday: eating.
Here you are, all ready to gobble up a heavenly delicious Prosperity burger from McD. You look at it, admiring the beef dripping with black pepper sauce and your sense of smell is taking up the aroma. All this while, your brain and other parts of your body is already working to respond to the burger (activating your saliva glands, releasing feel-good hormones, activating the move of your muscles etc.) and you haven't even eaten it yet!
Then when you've finally taken a bite, only God knows just how many processes and reactions are taking place in your body in a concerted way. It's like the ultimate orchestra. All of the processes are done by molecules that seem to know what they're supposed to do with the burger bite in order to turn it into something useful for the body.
Is it a coincidence that the right enzymes and molecules are released to deal with the burger? If we apply the theory of probability, then everything has a probablity to happen. There are an estimated 75,000 human enzymes in the body (according to wikianswers..yeah, I know. Very scientific :p) so every enzyme have a 1 in 75,000 chance to be excreted. But because there are other cues from the body to signal which are the right enzymes to be excreted, then digestion enzymes are excreted to deal with the burger, not growth enzymes or enzymes that trigger an allergic reaction (is there anyone allergic to a burger?).
But where does the cues come from?
Where does the cues for the cues come from?
Where does the cues for the cues for the cues come from?
And so on.
The human mind is so weak that it couldn't even have the answer to a simple event like reaction of the body toward a burger.
Ultimately, you have to believe that there is something greater than all of us. Something that reaches far beyond than what we even hope to imagine.
With knowledge, you can't help but rethink your existence. Be thankful that you're even alive today when so much things could go wrong.

p/s: Don't go further than you can, it'd make you crazy just thinking about it. Just leave it to the Almighty. Just take what you can handle, the others let it be ;)

I will seek my own

I appeal from your customs. I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be the happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, that I will do strongly before the sun and moon whatever inly rejoices me, and the heart appoints. If you are noble, I will love you; if you are not, I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical attentions. If you are true, but not in the same truth with me, cleave to your companions; I will seek my own.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

Mountain of work

slm :)
it's been awhile since I've wrote anything here.
I'm busy nowadays, climbing the gigantic mountain of work and racing for time.
Even the reason I am able to write anything now is because I am currently waiting for my real-time PCR to finish (maybe it'll be finished at 11.00 p.m).
I wish it could be faster...I wish I were faster.
*********************************************************************************

This Saturday I'll be meeting with Aishah, from Sabah. It is not often that she came down here so I'm taking this opportunity to catch up and be updated about each other lives'.
After my friends and I went our separate ways after graduation, the simple act of saying "hello" seem so hard to do. It's like life is so full of other things that it takes a great amount of effort and determination to keep in touch. We are all so caught up in the rapid flow of life that things that should be important (like family and friends) seem like a blur and all that we can say as we see it pass by is "sorry I can't make it, I have so much work to do" and just watch helplessly as they went on with their own lives without you in it.
Well, what did you expect? Who are we to make them wait?

Home Alone

I am now in the lab.
The mountain of task that await me is so high that it makes my heart heavy to start climbing. So I procrastinate. But things could be put off for only so long, eventually you have to get it done sooner or later.
I might be slow to start, but I'm moving nonetheless ;)

Guess I'll be spending Aidiladha alone this year as the rest of my family have gone to Kelantan.
I am not so sad, I've spent my Raya Qurban away from family before (during my matriculation and also while in Unimas). Furthermore, the decision to stay at home and do my research project is entirely my own.
However, it is still not easy even though I've been through it before. I bid a teary farewell to my family yesterday and I kick myself for doing that. I want them to not worry for me, so in the end I did manage to stop my tears and gave them a great big smile while waving them goodbye (still am proud of myself for doing that :p ) and I could see that somehow they are somewhat relieved after that.
When I told everyone that I'll be alone this raya, most of them pity me. But friends, you need not be. I am fine, truly. I know what I am getting myself into, so don't worry :)
Well Mom did say once that out of all her children, I am the one she won't be worried about if I was stranded on an island haha. Yeah, I am indeed a survivor!!

So now I am alone.
Do you know that when alone, the silence is so loud it hurt your ears?
But life is all about making choices.
I don't know whether it is wrong or right, but it is mine.

Every man has his price?

Hari ini bersubahat dalam rasuah.
...

Rasa hati susah dan tidak tenang.
Rasanya kalaulah aku mengenali Hamka, pasti kata-kata ini yang akan diucapkan, " Hati kamu belum merdeka. Mengapa mengkhianati kata hatimu sendiri?"

Aku percaya manusia itu fitrahnya adalah baik. Kalaulah dia jahat macam setan pun, jauh disudut hatinya dia sedar apa yang dilakukannya bukanlah sesuatu yang sesuai dengan fitrah roh seorang insan. Apa- apa perlakuan yang tidak elok, makruh atau haram pasti akan meninggalkan kesan pada jiwanya. Orang yang masih degil mahu menurut jalan yang bertentangan dengan kata hatinya, fitrahnya, pasti tidak akan tenang. Fikirannya tentu kucar-kacir.
Hati akan lebih berkecamuk andainya dia mempunyai ilmu tentang hukum perlakuannya itu.
Bukannya dia tak tau perbuatannya salah, dia tau.
Dan dia tidak akan tenang.

Peristiwa korup yang berlaku bukannya asing dalam masyarakat hari ini. Seringkali disalah anggap sebagai, "bertolak ansur" "win-win situation".
Bengong.
Lepas saja perkara itu berlalu, rasa tidak senang timbul dalam hati.

"Awak ada 2 pilihan: awak boleh turun bawah dan bayar rm50 atau kita selesaikan disini je tapi bayar rm20. Bukannya apa..sebagai pengajaran" katanya dengan senyuman sinis yang membengkakkan geram dalam hati.

Aku dan kawan-kawan saling berpandangan. Memekakkan telinga dengan hinaan dan kata-kata sinis oleh duo hero delusional SACC.
Bukannya tidak mampu bayar tapi ATM out of service. Tak cukup duit.
Tak perlulah alasan, tapi pada waktu dan ketika itu masing-masing rasa tersepit. Tak pernah menghadapi situasi sebegitu. Rasa macam penjenayah.
Maka kami mengumpulkan dua not merah untuk diberi pada dua buaya beruniform itu.
Semasa menghulurkan suapan haram itu Kak Nana berkata,

"Semoga berbahagia dengan duit tu."

Masuk sahaja dalam kereta, keempat-empat kami seakan-akan tiba-tiba hidup. Macam ada yang tekan "ON" pada kami yang tadinya "OFF" dan menurut saja flow kejahatan 'hero' duo tadi. Semuanya beri pendapat dan cadangan tentang bagaimana cara yang sepatutnya kami handle situation tadi.
Kami sepakat tentang beberapa perkara:

• Memang jelas kami bersalah (sape soh parking kat tempat cacat!!!!! ugh) dan taknak buat lagi dah...
• Pakcik itu tidak patut menghamburkan kata-kata sebegitu
• Sepatutnya kami turun dan bayar saja RM50 saman
• Sepatutnya kami bertanya nama 'hero' duo itu dan melaporkan kegiatan korup mereka
• Taknak terlibat dengan rasuah lagi
  

Ya, itulah yang patut dilakukan. Takpayah berurusan dengan orang-orang korup yang memikirkan senang memanipulasi gadis- gadis innocent.
After this, we know your game.
Next time, we will not lose.

Just believe

To shrink cancer cell - Surah Thaaha 105 -107 (7 times)

To kill cancer cell:
1. Surah Al-Qalam 1-5
2. Surah Al-Qalam 16-20 ( 7 times, repeat verse 20, 20 times)

To cure from cancer (read following sequence):
1. Al-fatihah
2. Al-Baqarah 1-5, 163-165, 255-257, 285-286
3. Ali-Imran 1-5, 18, 26-27
4. Al-A'raf 54-56, 117-119
5. Yunus 80-81
6. Thaaha 65-69
7. Mukminun 115-118
8. As-Shaaffaat 1-15
9. Ar-Rahman 31-34
10. Al-Hasyr 21-24
11. Al-Mulk 3-4
12. Al-Qalam 3-4
13. Al-Jinn 3
14. Al-Kafiruun
15. Al-Falaq
16. An-Nas

(Read 7 times onto water for shower and also water to be drank)

Believe, it is He the Most Merciful, the Most Loving, for it is He who will give a cure to this disease. Insya'Allah.

Always read:
Doa Nabi Yunus, Bismillah 5, Doa Nabi Ayub, Ayat Syifa' and istighfar

taken from http://onebreastbouncing.blogspot.com/
( a breast cancer survivor)