In the end, it's alright

Vienna - Billy Joel


Lyrics | Billy Joel lyrics - Vienna lyrics

Revising the truth

Darwin said the appendix was a vestigial organ, a remnant of evolution that have no function whatsoever. Guess what? He's proven wrong! See here.
Everything has a purpose. Nothing is made just for the sake of making something. If we can't figure out the reason or purpose then it'd be because of our limited abilities and knowledge. We can't be lazy and just judge something we can't figure out as nothing. If it is there, it must mean something!

It's like building a machine without a manual. Trying to fit those sheets of steel there, a nat here, a bolt there, a pipe here. Then when it looks like something in the brochure, we weld it all together. When the machine is started, it works fine. Then, while using the machine suddenly a curious square peg was found. A piece of the machine was left out! But the machine works fine, and you could swear that there were no square holes in there, only round ones. Hmm...how? It is such a bother to figure out where that annoying piece go to fit in the machine and it doesn't effect the running of the machine..so it must be unnecessary, maybe something the manufacturers mistakenly gave you extra, for backup you know. They sometimes do these mistakes, hey, not everybody's perfect eh?
So you just ignore the square peg's existence as unimportant. And the machine works beautifully..... For awhile.
Suddenly all falls apart, the machine starts making funny sounds. Now you think it may be because of the square peg you left out. Asking the manufacturer, he told you that actually that peg is the most important piece of all, that is why it was so different from others and now you're not eligible for warranty because it was you who made it faulty in the first place. Need to buy a new one. Haha! Padan muka.
Try replacing the machine with the ultimate truth. The pieces of the machine are the bits and pieces of knowledge from various studies, observances and theories over the years. Trying to build the truth, we gather all these knowledge together to form a clearer picture. But when faced with something we can't figure out, we chucked it out as unimportant. So the picture of the 'truth' we worked on still could be used, it still worked for the problems faced at that time. However, over the years that 'truth' would be challenged in light of new studies. The old facts suddenly revealed themselves as fiction. Everything needs revision, everything have to be reconsidered in light of the new facts.

The lesson now is this: nothing is made for nothing. If it is there then there must be a reason. Be patient and never stop searching for the truth. Nothing is ever what they seem ;)

Glass reality

Green Day 21 Guns + Lyrics -


Lyrics | Green Day lyrics - 21 Guns lyrics

To me this is a sad story.

Somehow I think it is important for us to figure out what really defines us. Is it your looks? Your mind? Your status? Your personality? Your career? Your deeds? Your choices? Your fights?
Think it through.
All those things could be easily taken from you. They are so frail and flimsy and so easy to lose. They are not ultimately yours. If you lose these things, then what would be left remaining? If those things give meaning to who you are, if they are taken away then are you reduced to nothing?

So think carefully. Which one is it?
If someone were to ask you, "Who are you really?", can you tell them without a shadow of a doubt what differentiates you from all other entities in this world?

I used to be afraid of not achieving academic success. I thought that because I am not beautiful or have a bubbly personality; all I have is my academic excellence. If I were to fail, then I won't be special anymore. I'd just fade into the background.
Just another soul walking the times until the clock stops ticking.
It is as if my academic achievements define me and made me special. So I did everything to ensure my academic success and I am proud to tell you that I did it too. Went through all the levels of school and basic degree without any hurdles. After that, I went on and signed up for postgraduate study. After a while my MSc project was converted to PhD. Little that I realize that my glass world would come crashing down.

PhD brings with it a lesson of harsh reality: I am not smart, intelligent or any of those things.
So what becomes of my definition of self? Shattered. You can't go on telling yourself that you're a smart person when there are mounting evidence against that. So what now?

I kinda understand why the entertainer did what he did. Throughout his life he believed that he was a great entertainer. Suddenly ratings start to go down, fans gone and age catches on. All those things that he used to take to define his reality is now no more. He fought for his reality, always trying to make a comeback. His comfort was always the past. It got so bad that he resorted to violence that contributed further to his downfall. All because he was trying to hold on. If he does not, he felt he'd be nothing. He'd fade. No one wants to fade because then eventually you'd be nothing.

The time has come to seek another definition of myself. What would that be, I don't really know yet. Just hoping that I don't lose myself along the way. Seeking the ultimate mission, something that would not leave me barren when one fine day it decides to leave me.

I, witness

All this time the Guard was looking at her,
first through a telescope,
then through a microscope,
and then through an opera-glass.
At last he said, “You’re traveling the wrong way,”
and shut up the window …
~Lewis Carrol, The Looking Glass

After a long journey, she came to a curious window. Hoping to know where it lead to, she tried to get through. Fiddling here and there, pushing and shoving but it never gave way. She would still try, if not for the warning that it was futile.
Wasted effort.
But was it?
I grow up thinking that everything has reasons for happening, sometimes beyond our time and comprehension. But it is hard to always keep an open mind.

Have you ever felt you were standing in front of a glass window, looking in to your life?
Looking in, seeing the people playing their respective parts and see yourself too. There was never a need to say anything, just observing it all. What plays in your head, stays there. There is no one there for you to share anything with in the vast white room.

Surely it never crossed your mind that all the while you were looking in, there is someone else looking at you? Not just looking but rather examining.
You, the one hoping to be a distanced spectator to your own life could never be so. You, yourself have to be your own witness.

That way, could we ever run from shouldering the responsibilities of our existence?
Maybe, that is why some of the great people in history wants nothing more than be a bird or even dust. Sometimes the things we do in light of events are unjustifiable and to answer and explain our actions would be the most hard and daunting task of all.

In a moment of weakness....

Selawat Pelindung Diri - NOWSEEHEART

tawassalna bi bismillah
wa bil hadi rasulillah [2x]
wa kulli 'arifin billah
wa ahlillahi ya Allah [2x]

ya Allah
syumu silhuda
shuyukhil waraa
nujuu min nada [2x]
bihinnas lahu min kulli aza
bi qadrillahi ya Allah

"Kami bertawassul dengan nama Allah dan dengan petunjuk Rasulullah dan setiap orang yang arif mengenai Allah dan ahli Allah,Ya Allah.Ya Allah!Dengan perantaraan kaum yang mulia,cahaya hidayah,dengan perantaraan amalan kebaikan mereka,kami selamat dari setiap malapetaka dengan kekuatanMu,ya Allah"


Taken from:
http://www.iluvislam.com/v1/forum/viewthread.php?forum_id=20&thread_id=12506&rowstart=10

Negative post. Don't read if you're irritatingly happy

But this is our ungodly hour
I know you're leaving now
Cause I held on to my way tightly
Stay still until you know
Tomorrow finds the best way out is through

Ungodly hour, The Fray

All day today and possibly a part of yesterday there is something I need to let out.

All the irrepressible feelings: desperation, confusion, angst, (un)satisfaction, rebellion. All rolled into one and burning like peat fire. Invisible but deadly and hard to put out.

I will go down burning. I know this for a fact.

Trapped by injustice, how I long to get away.

The road ahead is still long and I will bear these scars until I can rest.

The mountain shows it's scars, "These are made by wind and water. Unmerciful assailants of my strength and I fear that I am spent"

The moon looks on pitifully, " Have heart, you are still here. All of them can't erode what's inside. The scars are all but patterns that shape who you are. But don't let them take over you, or you'll just be a pile of rubble"

Look on, look on.

Hold on, hold on.

Let them drown in their desires.

Let you drown in yours.

Let them laugh loudly with their false pretenses.

Let you smile secretly at your success.

Remember, no one defines you but you. Seek your own and slowly cleave away. Forgive yourself and forgive them because by extension you'll bring peace to your soul and strength to your being.
Fools are mean because they're ignorant.
Mindless retaliation would only supply them ammunition.
Don't sink so low, rather try to fly high.
Changed perspective is all that would color our monotonous lives.

So now, pick sides. But don't blame me if you lose.