I pulled out the post before this.
I've considered the possible effects and decided that I'd rather not deal with the everlasting consequences of a sudden outburst.
Patience, as always, will always come with a price.
The price is almost always endurance and more patience.
This patience-endurance cycle will never end, until the event resolves and disappear into the wind, as if it was never there before.
As patience is almost always associated with hurt, then there is no use of remembering the hurt once it had resolved.
It'll just add to the general disarray of ourselves.
.
.
.
It is fortunate that we can retract the things we write, but the effects of what we say, what we write cannot be undone. It is a permanent thing, forever etched in time and only failing memory can erode its presence.
But recent events at home and at work make me realize that sometimes when going about our daily lives and just being the generally foolish beings that we are, we tend to step on other's toes and trample on the hearts of others without knowing.
If you know the effects of what you are saying, then all of these won't apply to you because there is really no excuse for being mean and bitchy.
But it is true that sometimes we just don't realize how much we hurt with our words and actions. And these unintended blows to the heart will hurt just as bad and it doesn't subside even with the feeble acts of rationalization of the accidental attacker and the one accidentally attacked.
(remember these lines running through head? "easy, he/she doesn't mean it"or "oh no, I just hit a raw nerve. Maybe I'll just pretend I am innocent and he/she will forgive me without me actually asking for forgiveness" or "he/she don't know what he/she is talking about" or even "Oops")
Do you get me? It's kinda hard to get across.
Simply, we sometimes unknowingly hit a raw nerve with people and that causes trouble.
I think this is the reason why we have to seek forgiveness every time we part and leave amicably.
This is because even a passing comment could be interpreted a million ways. People will always over analyse and often this leads to the wrong conclusion that in turn would turn into a festering problem. To imagine the severity of the situation of this in graphic terms is to imagine the effect of a single microscopic wound on a diabetic foot. If left unattended, it'll cause gangrene and make the whole limb rot until eventually it would have to be amputated. If you're lucky that is, because if you're one of the unlucky ones then the infected sores would seep into the blood and cause septicemia that could be fatal.
It is that serious.
However, to integrate this practice of asking for forgiveness every time we want to part is odd and it would feel awkward. I tried it before and got very embarrassed. The shame became more unbearable because some people just won't let an easy apology go, they need an explanation for it.
And of course you know the pain and shame of having to explain yourself. It is like telling a joke nobody gets, you just fall flat on the face only this time it is worse because you're not defending a bad joke but rather defending yourself.
...Haih, I'm now wishing for a world where "sorry", "I love you" and all the hard phrases comes easy. Maybe we'll have fewer wars. Maybe.
Again, I wish for a world where people just understand what other people mean to say, without having to actually say it. Life, I think, would be much simpler.
But, for all that is worth my dear family and friends:
I am sorry and I love you
Each and every time, of course. Forever, insyaAllah.
(p/s: I am mildly disappointed with myself if all of you don't know this already).
