Drugged

To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest expenditure of intelligence
~Friedrich Nietzsche

I am heavily drugged today.
What with the array of drugs the doctor gave me, it shoots me right up to cloud nine. I have cough syrup, paracetamol, clarinase and even vitamin C. I thought it was nothing, as my temperature was only 38C yesterday (our normal temperature is 37C, so I thought: hey, it's just 1C difference!) so I was quite shocked with the array of drugs the doctor prescribed me.

So today I am groggy.
Suddenly I wonder why do people struggle to get high?

Life: people say is like a wheel, always going up and down. So I think that if it is just going up and never wanting to touch the ground is not life but a naive dream. Being high all the time is not life; merely letting your life slip away as you continue to exist, but not live.

People who are high will fall harder when they wake up to reality. The higher you are, the harder your fall will be. When high, the senses become numb but when sober the senses become ultrasensitive and the reality of the addict will crash down hard on them, making them wanting to get high again and be free of the tugging of life.

I think addicts are very sensitive to life; they even have an almost artistic view to life.

You see too much, and what you see you don't like. Then you opt to escape life the easy but cowardly way of popping a pill or downing cough syrup that will make you lose yourself. You try to be free of your destiny by totally ignoring it and refusing to take responsibility of driving your own life. Eventually it'll work: you'll lose yourself and fade away. Like dust, you mean nothing.

To try and find yourself again would be a challenge and few people have managed to hold themselves and prevent going down the abyss of nothingness. So don't try and go down that road; you'll never come back.

Simple is Cinta

Hari ni nak cakap pasal cinta.
Bosanlah yang lain- lain. Otak jem.
Politik, drama hidup bodoh, kerja. Semua bosan.

Jom kita cakap pasal benda yang seronok: cinta. Atau kalau geli perkataan tu, kita sebut je kasih (or adakah lebih menggelikan? Love, ok x?)

Rasanya paling menghayati cinta waktu sekolah menengah. Spesifiknya waktu menengah rendah (form 1-3). Masa tu masyaAllah, gatalnyaa!! hahahaha
Masa tu minat klasmet, minat abang tu, minat abang ni, cikgu pun minat juga ;)
Mmg, masa menengah rendah adalah waktu yg paling sarat dengan kasih sayang untuk org asing.
Masa tu seronok minat orang, share ngan kawan2. Diorang spy kn untuk kita, kita spy kan utk dia. Communication network kalangan kawan2 untuk lapor pasal yg diminati mmg dashyat. Siap ada codenames lagi, untuk elak orang lain tau :D

Tapi itu kasih, minat, cinta yang simple. Mana ada diganggu faktor hidup yg kompleks seperti sekarang, expectations seperti sekarang (keinginan utk commit, utk kahwin dan sebagainya). Masa tu semua simple. Aku minat kau, kau buat2 tak tau and kita flirt dalam cara yang buatkan masing2 perasan hahahaha. Memang sweet!

Sekarang? nak letak sesiapa dalam hati pun susah, kerana takut kecewa. Dulu, kecewa x kisah. Cinta berani mati. Sebab cinta yg simple. Sedih, tp kejap je sebab senag je nk replace org yg diminati (hahaha, ye aku tau, aku minat sorang ni da nk dekat 15tahun. Dia aku x pernah replace :p ). Tapi, kisah 15 tahun dulu pun, sekarang ok je sebab tau main- main dan pasti tidak kemana-mana. So sebenarnye aku mana ada "suka" sesape sekarang.

Sekarang mane ade flirt ngan orang, padahal dulu suke gile buat skandal senyap-senyap. Sendiri sendiri perasan dan kecewa sorang- sorang. Dulu memang suka terjebak dalam aktiviti ni hehe. Tapi sekarang? xde. Xde masa, xde tenaga untuk dibazirkan untuk benda-benda yang boleh memberatkan hati.

kan best kalau boleh mengalami percintaan yang simple. Aku mahu dengar cerita kau, kau pun mahu dengar cerita aku. Kau tunggu aku, aku tunggu kau. Basically, kau mahu aku dan aku mahu kau. Yang lain- lain kita cerita nanti. Ini kita settle dulu. Kan best? ;)

Stars for today

May 08, 2009

Aquarius (1/20-2/18)

Big questions are swimming through your mind today -- your subconscious is in a doubting mood, and it's forcing you to wonder about the status quo. You will probably start to think about a career change -- but when you do, be careful not to assume that a new career will be a better career. Different monotony is still monotony, no matter what the new title may be. When you're contemplating change, it's important to factor in a healthy dose of reality

... hahaha. Must factor in a healthy dose of reality. Gotta keep that in mind :p