Reminder to self: renovation's in order!

Some people just seem perfect.
Even after the hardest ordeals, that leave us ordinary mortal beings drenching with sweat and look as though a stampede of elephants have trampled all over you: these people still have flawless hair, a nicely shaped tudung and no sweat spots whatsoever.
All that I can say is: wow.
Me? I'm always comot. Especially after a rough day at the lab that make me uncaring of my physical appearance. A big part of it may be because I sincerely believe no one is watching and no one truly care how I turn up at work. We graduate students (if not all, then ok, just me :P) tend to flower the backgrounds, lurking in the shadows of our lab until the time we emerge suddenly at graduation. Like a butterfly escaping a cacoon. heh.
Aiyoh, that's not good right?
Hm..
Why do we need to be beautiful anyway? No use complying to the twisted fantasies of the masses about the picture of the perfect girl.
Well, my answer to this is simply because we can and we have to.
Because...
Everyone of us is an ambassador, a symbol to all that we believe in. So if your appearance looks as though you've just been mauled by a tiger or just fell down a gutter, will people respect you and even take a minute to hear what you have to say? People love generalizations. It is easier, coz that way they won't waste anytime or energy trying to figure you out. So think of how it would reflect on your beliefs if you're always careless with what you project from yourself.
Have respect, to yourself especially. Don't do an injustice by intentionally being unkempt. If you are given the gift of complete sets of body parts and all are fully functioning, no one can tell you that you're less than beautiful. Psst..but don't go around telling people that, or you'll turn ugly automatically huhuhu.
Sure, it is hard to be like the aforesaid "perfect" beings. So maybe I'll just settle with being "comfortably elegant" or "comfortably stylish" ==> even if there's nobody watching. Haha.

Stubborn fools

People do not wish to appear foolish; to avoid the appearance of foolishness, they are willing to remain actually fools
~Alice Walker

Every 5 minutes I kept glancing at my watch, "Oh, I'm running late and I haven't done my prayers yet. Oh, minta2 x kena panah petir!"

So I hurried a bit in doing the sample processing. Then when I arrived at one of the steps in the process that allow me to have 45 minutes on the timer, I went to the ladies' surau for Asar prayer. This is part and parcel of a postgraduate life: every moment dictated by the timer.
However, arriving at the surau I saw a cleaner girl wearing the telekung and rummaging through the few religious book they keep on the rack. Ah, at least I'm not alone. I smiled and she smiled politely back. She seem quite young, I wouldn't put her past early 20s. She has a yellowish complexion and although her face has red little acne marks, it doesn't mar her beauty. I still think her as pleasant to look at. She also looked new on the job as she didn't seem quite at ease in the surau. However, I didn't say anything to her as I hurried to perform my prayers as I was afraid I would be late and be struck by lightning.

After I finished and was just sitting on the prayer mat I noticed something disturbing: she is sitting on her prayer rug but facing a completely different kiblat from me! It was about 45 degrees off from the actual direction. The difference was so stark that it's as if our two prayer mats were forming an inverted 'V' shape.

I was puzzled and confused: didn't she see the direction I'm facing while solat? Ok, so maybe she doesn't believe me, ye la, muka xleh percaye je ni. But then, UiTM has put the kiblat direction on the ceiling, even the tiles are arranged in such a way to reflect the kiblat. All plain as day. Why does she choose to ignore all these and just go on with the thick headed idea of just praying facing anywhere she feels like it?

I was at a war with myself, what do I do? She is already grown up and should have known better. Oh, I really don't like if I have to be the one stating the obvious.

Then I said, "Kak, kenapa tak ikut arah kiblat tu?" while my hand is pointing toward the kiblat sign and one eyebrow upward. She just looked at me dumbly with big innocent eyes and said softly, "Oh, bukan arah ni ke?" and then mumbling something unintelligible. Then she moved her rug toward the right direction and never glanced at me again. I half expected her to solat again but she didn't. I was doubly confused...doesnt' she have to repeat? She is not doing anything, just sitting there on the rug staring out to space, most likely daydreaming. I was confused and I didn't know what to do, so I just shrugged my shoulders and left..all the while thinking: I would never want to be like those kind of people that turn their backs at the truth even when the truth stare at them in the face. It was so obvious! What do these people want? Does the sign have to be adorned with bright blinking neon lights to make her see and heed?

Actually, this is not the first time you know, the other day I also spotted a group of girls doing the same thing. That was more frustating as they are facing a different kiblat among all the other students there, and there were many! And the other students said nothing: maybe they didn't notice or couldn't care less. I also told these girls the right kiblat, but then they just said, "oh, ye ke" and then do nothing. Are they blind? Or do they need proof? Maybe they don't believe the kiblat sign on the ceiling, in their heads: what is your proof saying that direction is right and ours is wrong? --- I really don't know what to say. It is beyond me.

For me, this is concrete proof that truth is not ours: it is ultimately Allah's because it is He who determine who gets the revelation or not. If they refuse to see the truth, for whatever reason, we can't do anything but pray that someday they'll get back on track.

Sometimes, all the signs are there that it is bordering on stupid to ignore them and just go on with our distorted idea of perfect living. The question of why we don't want to follow the true path is valid and we should all ask ourselves that.

Why resist when the signs are so clear?

Maybe no one knows the answer to this. You have the knowledge, the ability and the freedom but if you choose to go down the dark road...no one can save you except Allah. Period.

Orang tua nyanyuk

Sometimes I think my heart is made of jelly. I shake and precariously on the edge of toppling over at the slightest touch.
Ah, maybe it's just me getting old: nowadays I easily get hurt, especially concerning loved ones. I can't communicate as I think they would say, "Apalah Kak Lisa ni" and just shrug off what I wanted to say as insignificant and unnecessary.
Maybe this is how old people with dementia (nyanyuk) feels.

Oh, tuanya saya rasa!