I, witness

All this time the Guard was looking at her,
first through a telescope,
then through a microscope,
and then through an opera-glass.
At last he said, “You’re traveling the wrong way,”
and shut up the window …
~Lewis Carrol, The Looking Glass

After a long journey, she came to a curious window. Hoping to know where it lead to, she tried to get through. Fiddling here and there, pushing and shoving but it never gave way. She would still try, if not for the warning that it was futile.
Wasted effort.
But was it?
I grow up thinking that everything has reasons for happening, sometimes beyond our time and comprehension. But it is hard to always keep an open mind.

Have you ever felt you were standing in front of a glass window, looking in to your life?
Looking in, seeing the people playing their respective parts and see yourself too. There was never a need to say anything, just observing it all. What plays in your head, stays there. There is no one there for you to share anything with in the vast white room.

Surely it never crossed your mind that all the while you were looking in, there is someone else looking at you? Not just looking but rather examining.
You, the one hoping to be a distanced spectator to your own life could never be so. You, yourself have to be your own witness.

That way, could we ever run from shouldering the responsibilities of our existence?
Maybe, that is why some of the great people in history wants nothing more than be a bird or even dust. Sometimes the things we do in light of events are unjustifiable and to answer and explain our actions would be the most hard and daunting task of all.

In a moment of weakness....

Selawat Pelindung Diri - NOWSEEHEART

tawassalna bi bismillah
wa bil hadi rasulillah [2x]
wa kulli 'arifin billah
wa ahlillahi ya Allah [2x]

ya Allah
syumu silhuda
shuyukhil waraa
nujuu min nada [2x]
bihinnas lahu min kulli aza
bi qadrillahi ya Allah

"Kami bertawassul dengan nama Allah dan dengan petunjuk Rasulullah dan setiap orang yang arif mengenai Allah dan ahli Allah,Ya Allah.Ya Allah!Dengan perantaraan kaum yang mulia,cahaya hidayah,dengan perantaraan amalan kebaikan mereka,kami selamat dari setiap malapetaka dengan kekuatanMu,ya Allah"


Taken from:
http://www.iluvislam.com/v1/forum/viewthread.php?forum_id=20&thread_id=12506&rowstart=10

Negative post. Don't read if you're irritatingly happy

But this is our ungodly hour
I know you're leaving now
Cause I held on to my way tightly
Stay still until you know
Tomorrow finds the best way out is through

Ungodly hour, The Fray

All day today and possibly a part of yesterday there is something I need to let out.

All the irrepressible feelings: desperation, confusion, angst, (un)satisfaction, rebellion. All rolled into one and burning like peat fire. Invisible but deadly and hard to put out.

I will go down burning. I know this for a fact.

Trapped by injustice, how I long to get away.

The road ahead is still long and I will bear these scars until I can rest.

The mountain shows it's scars, "These are made by wind and water. Unmerciful assailants of my strength and I fear that I am spent"

The moon looks on pitifully, " Have heart, you are still here. All of them can't erode what's inside. The scars are all but patterns that shape who you are. But don't let them take over you, or you'll just be a pile of rubble"

Look on, look on.

Hold on, hold on.

Let them drown in their desires.

Let you drown in yours.

Let them laugh loudly with their false pretenses.

Let you smile secretly at your success.

Remember, no one defines you but you. Seek your own and slowly cleave away. Forgive yourself and forgive them because by extension you'll bring peace to your soul and strength to your being.
Fools are mean because they're ignorant.
Mindless retaliation would only supply them ammunition.
Don't sink so low, rather try to fly high.
Changed perspective is all that would color our monotonous lives.

So now, pick sides. But don't blame me if you lose.