Seeking solace

Love dogs

One night a man was crying Allah. Allah.

His lips grew sweet with the praising,

until a cynic said, "So. I have heard you calling out,

but have you ever gotten any response?"

The man had no answer for that.

He quit praying and fell into a confused sleep

where he dreamed he saw Khidr, the guide of souls,

in a thick green foliage.

"Why did you stop praising?"

"Because I've never heard anything back."

This longing you express

is the return message.

The grief you cry out from

draws you toward union.

Your pure sadness that wants help

is the secret cup.

Listen to the moan of a dog for its master.

That whining is the connection.

There are love dogs no one knows the names of.

Give your life to be one of them.

~Rumi

Sometimes your own words might not be enough. But without the articulation of your thoughts into words, it weighs heavily in the heart. Threatening to overflow like a burst dam, no longer sufficient to hold what's inside.

Silence can only contain so much, at some point of time it has to be broken so new things could be filled into the empty space. Seeking solace in the words of others to understand your own hell, it provides an outlet that is completely necessary. It gives the questions a break from needing answers.

.

.

.

Isn't that a good enough reason?

And the rest is like whatever

Lyrics | Train lyrics - If It's Love lyrics

The people closest to me will know that I laugh easily at the most simple things. I don't know, maybe my kind of dry humor works readily in any situation. Maybe it is a kind of self defense mechanism. Personally I think it is quite a gift to see the lighter side of everything. It takes a load off your shoulders and helps elevate our spirits to see a different perspective to an otherwise gloomy situation.

However, most of them don't get it. They're like, "why is that so funny?" and most of the time I have a secret fear that when I explain to them why it seems funny to me, they'll think I'm weird or just plain crazy. Some that do, we're like kindred spirits! Put in this dreary world with a different set of spectacles to view the world with. Because some just don't get it.

But I do. And my friends do too. It's either they get it or they just let it slip and accept me as the original person that I am haha.

Like in the song, we're two birds of a feather. And the rest just doesn't matter ;)

p/s: My friends and I have just done something very exciting. We've bought tickets to Krabi! It is for next year, but hey, we have committed ourselves to this holiday thing which I hope will blossom to reality and act as a catalyst for making us globetrotters :D

A sprint to the end

One of my old friends have said that my blog always tell sad stories. Ok, maybe not sad all the time but happy posts are very rare in between.

Now, I think we're not friends anymore. I wonder why these things happen. Oh well, life goes on.

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.

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However, it is true that my urges to write always come when I have something burning in my chest that I have to let out or just a random thought or perspectives that I like to share.

When happy moments come, usually going to the computer to blog about it would be farthest in my mind ;)

So lately so much has happened. I'm at the writing stage now for my thesis, although there are some additional labwork left. But the bulk of it is already completed. Alhamdulillah.

BUT, writing is hard! huhu, especially with someone like me who hardly have any resistance at all when temptation/ distraction knocks. I suspect that even my SV knows this because she quarantined those who are supposed to be writing their thesis in an isolation room. She can only do so much, the rest is entirely up to me.

And that is exactly what scares me. Having someone else to blame would definitely lessen the pressure and expectations but sadly, there is none. Dr (Phd) is not a joint title, you know. So like it or not, I have to pull through.

InsyaAllah it'll be ok. No doubt about that.

But for now, the thing to do is FOCUS!