I'm back!

The trip was awesome. I guess I did something right in my life to be granted an opportunity to experience something like that. Alhamdulillah. I've posted some pictures of the trip on FB but not many because the batteries of the camera keeps dying on me. But my friends have loads of pics, so maybe I'll get the pictures from them later.

But now I'm in post-holiday mode which is a good thing. It's like my steps are getting lighter, and I keep having urges to run for no apparent reason. I feel...active. I highly recommend a holiday getaway for anyone as an effective antidote for a heavy heart. It'd do you good.

p/s: now I got to focus on the viva..then viva la vida! InsyaAllah :)

Let's go!

Remember what Bilbo used to say: It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.

~J.R.R. Tolkien

Tomorrow insyaAllah me and a couple of my friends would be going to Krabi, Thailand.
I really hope everything goes well, I hope we will all be happy.
Leave all the problems here for a while but take with us the memories of loved ones.
This trip for me is not only a holiday, but more like a test. Can I take care of myself as I like to think I can?
I don't want to be fooled by the illusion of overconfidence. A measure of fear would keep me on my toes, but won't paralyze me. This is something I've been waiting for so long, it's like breaking free of the things that mess up my heart.
This is not a guided tour, we're basically our own navigators. Fixed plans were kept on a minimum, it's all about flexibility. The only fixed plan so far is that we will make riding an elephant a must. That's about it. Sometimes I think we're crazy, because all of us come from a scientific background: used to the things that are structured and can be figured out easily. But the way we're planning this (or not planning?) it's so different and it's exhilarating!
It reminds me of the journey of Frodo and Sam in that epic tale. Both discovered parts of themselves that they never knew existed. Maybe we're all capable of everything, but at different levels and on different times. To really know the person you see in the mirror everyday, you have to make available the opportunities that would make them shine.
Ok, now suddenly this reminds me of Hulk. You know that Hulk only comes out when there is a need, a provocation that set off the transformation to Hulk. Mind you, I am not suggesting that you go become a monster when someone makes you angry. What I mean is that sometimes things happen that would make you become something you never knew you could. It doesn't have to be negative provocation, hopefully a positive simulation would cause the transformation into a better person. So when you travel, you never can know where you'll end up, what are the things that have to be dealt with and who knows who would you become? (Not Hulk I hope).
So let's go! The world is too big to be stuck at one place anyway ;)

Slayed by time

I just got the tentative date for my viva.

It's 10th October 2011, insyaAllah.

I'm surprised because each time I tell this to people, they clap their hands, put a big smile on their faces and say heartily, "Congratulations!"

Why?

I am not particularly happy. I'm just 20% relieved that I'm finally on the road to end this journey and 80% terrified that I would mess up.

I hope, pray, beg that all would turn out alright.

So to make myself more terrified, let's do a bit of mathematics.

24 hours per day that consist of:

5 hours: sleep (why is sleep the first thing? this is surely not a good sign :p)

3 hours: eating and other essential daily activities (like praying, bathing)

3 hours: other nonessential daily activities (like driving, washing the dishes)

3 hours for PROMISE. The supervisors forbid us from doing any more thesis-related work during office hours so they're piling center-related work on us now.

~ I can't think of anything else right now but it is safe to say that there is approximately 10 effective working hours that have to be used to the maximum (hope, pray, beg).

10th Oct 2011 is 32 days away.

4 days I'm going to Krabi for a holiday getaway (I brought the tickets in February and so I had no idea this would happen)

That leaves 28 days.

Let's allocate 4 days for maintenance of sanity (believe me this is essential). My supervisor likes to say that PhD really means "Permanent head Damage." So maybe we'll find out after 10th Oct won't we?

24 days remain.

That is 24 days x 10 hours = 240 hours = 10 days

Just over a week!

*faint*