This is the problem...i keep thinking that if I had known, then all would be different. But i know it is wrong to think this way.
For all that is wrong now, I am thankful for some things:
1. We were all given the chance to try to turn things around. Eventhough sometimes I felt like I was at the foot of a mountain that I have to climb eventhough I know I may not reach the top...
2. I am thankful for knowing some wonderful people in this life that somehow helped in the search for a cure or as a source of comfort.
3. I am thankful that I am near my family during these times..and not far away as before.
4. I am thankful for a chance given by Allah now..and we would all be fools if we don't try everything in our power to face this.
5. I am thankful for such mature and strong brothers and sisters that are trying their best to be brave. I really love all of you..for all of you, I would try to be strong and never falter.

Most of all, I am thankful for my mother. Ma, I love you. Eventhough u don't even know that this blog exist, I am truly thankful to Allah to have someone like you as a mother.
We'll face this.
There is no other way.

During these hard times, it is more comforting to remember the things that u are thankful for rather than searching for the answers that you would never find.

Bersama-sama kesusahan, beriringan dengannya kesenangan.

Kelemahan insan adalah sesuatu yang pasti.
Kehidupan sentiasa berjalan, seperti sungai yang mengalir tanpa henti hingga akhirnya menumpah ke lautan.
Siapa yang mampu menahan aliran sungai itu?
Tetapi tertahannya aliran bukanlah sesuatu yang mustahil, asalkan dengan izin Allah.
Atau, apabila alirannya terhenti, siapa yang sanggup mengalirkannya semula?
Tiada. Jika hanya dengan kudrat insan.
Kesimpulannya, insan adalah lemah. Kalau insan itu kuat, kekuatan itu bukanlah dari dirinya sendiri.
La Haula Wala Quwwata Illa Billahil 'Aliyyil 'Azim
Persoalan yang berada difikiran, berkecamuk. Bercampur semuanya. Tiada yang mampu diungkapkan, hanya mampu dirasai.
Yang melihat pasti tidak akan memahami.
Tidak mengapalah...
Beban ini ujian. Ujian pasti ada hikmahnya kerana Allah tidak akan menganiaya hamba-Nya.
Peristiwa sehari- hari, bagai kosong, tiada meninggalkan kesan.
Mungkin kerana hati dan fikiran ditempat lain, jauh melayang dari tempat yang berada sekarang.
Seandainya kerisauan menjadi kenyataan, mampukah insan bermula semula?
Bermula semula dari titik yang ditinggalkan tadi.
Bermula semula, tapi dengan situasi dan keadaan diri yang sama sekali telah berubah.
Mampukah?
InsyaAllah mampu..tapi pasti bukan dengan kudratnya sendiri kerana kalau diikutkan hati, pasti akan statik, tidak bergerak kemana- mana.
Tidak kedepan, enggan kebelakang. Ingin beku dalam saat itu, takut mengahadapi realiti.
Tapi itu tindakan bodoh. Itu tindakan putus asa.
Mana mungkin selamat jika melalui jalan yang dimurkai...
Merenung arah kehidupan kini, harapan itu ada. Harapan perlu ada.
Semua diserahkan padaNya yang Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk hamba-hambaNya.
Sesungguhnya insan itu lemah...

“Kelip-kelip disangka api,
Kalau api mana puntungnya?,
Hilang ghaib di sangka mati,
Kalau mati mana kuburnya?"

These are the words at the end of the song Seribu tahun by Imran Ajmain.
Sometimes poetic words have a way of getting through your heart...
A song about someone who is trying to hold on to a love that is not there anymore. A love lost without a trace. A love lost without reason.
To hold on to something like this is somewhat tiring. Constantly convincing ourselves that a loss that is never confirmed, has a chance that it was never lost.
The lover in this song realizes that even though he/she is willing to risk it all and wait for a thousand years, he/she is unsure whether it is possible because the will of God still prevails.
But a person in love is never rational.
Always looking ahead with the firm belief that the person will turn up somehow, defying what others are saying about the need to move on, that there is no hope.
The lover would not believe that. There is still hope.
To give up is a death in itself. Never ever lose hope.
With hope and faith, they will wait.
Even if death comes first, at least they tried.