Friday, July 31, 2009

Stupid endurance

Kurang Ajar

Sebuah perkataan yang paling ditakuti
Untuk bangsa kita yang pemalu.

Sekarang kata ini kuajarkan pada anakku;
Kau harus menjadi manusia kurang ajar
Untuk tidak mewarisi malu ayahmu.

Lihat petani-petani yang kurang ajar
Memiliki tanah dengan caranya
Sebelumnya mereka tak punya apa
Kerana ajaran malu dari bangsanya.

Suatu bangsa tidak menjadi besar
Tanpa memiliki sifat kurang ajar.

Usman Awang

Please, read about the Headscarf Martyr here.
There is not much hype surrounding this case. People just don't care anymore. It pales in comparison to everything else that happens in their little lives.
However, I am puzzled: if hijab is a form of oppression on women but the ones wearing it are not forced to do so, wouldn't fighting against it would be oppression of expressing one's religion?
Hmm...

Islamophobia is real.
There is even a concerted effort to keep it alive.
Looking around the world today, I am amazed at the extent of how we endure all the s**t that the world choose to throw to us whenever they like.

I'm thinking, is Islamophobia even infected by Muslim themselves that it pains and embarrass us to show our beliefs?
Our disease: Cinta dunia dan takut mati.

People,
If it is our right, fight for it.
If you think that it is yours, you got to take it and not just bow out defeated when it is not given to you.
If you put such low esteem of yourself, then be rest assured that the world won't raise your price.

Malu tak bertempat bukan malu, tapi bodoh.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Ghosts of old friends past

Yesterday I went to a solat hajat function at my dad's friend's house at Laman Seri. I never thought I'd bump into anyone, so I was surprised to see three of my old schoolmates turning up there.
Haha, in truth I was shy, that is why I pretended not to see them. Kinda cruel eh? But they did the same thing too. So I didn't feel so guilty.
However, at the end of the function, those guys went for a tour of the house. I envy them, as they had a first class view of the house, which by the way costs RM 1.2 million. Yes, million. But only just for the house, for renovation Uncle Topa had to rake in another million. So, all in all the house I went yesterday costs RM 2 million! Gile kan. That is the main reason I went hehe, yela, mane nak dapat peluang pergi rumah juta-juta kan?
After those guys completed the tour, I was at the dining table helping myself to very generous helpings of brownies, watermelon and pulasan. I didn't know anyone there, so me and my sister stuck like a leech to my mom, she's the only one talking. So, rather than waste my time listening to endless chatter I distracted myself by eating those sweet fruits :)
Then Aisyah, daughter of my dad's friend called me to say that those guys said that they know me as their old schoolmate but was too shy to talk to me. Haha, I didn't realize boys can also be shy. Sama lah kita! Haha
I just brushed aside my fear of potential embarassment and awkwardness and just went up to talk to them. My God, they were a funny lot! Both sides were shy so maybe that is why it all went on like it did. We talked, but we never sat down even after the conversation went on for a long time. I don't know why, but one of them said that even when they were working they never sat down. Ah well, what can I say, even if they were pulling my leg I can't tell. They joke incessantly, with poker faces that don't betray their humour. It's like watching a sketch, all of them have just the right chemistry: macam Sepah Raja Lawak. (I don't know what thay'd do if they knew what I said hahaha).
I asked news about old schoolmates as I didn't know much. I am really bad at keeping in touch, that I know. It's not that I don't want to, but somehow I just got carried away with the current flow of life that those I left behind just drifted apart... sad eh? I think that they thought I didn't bother to keep in touch. For having given all of you that perspective, I am so sorry.
However, at the end one of them asked me if I was single. I was stunned. They were very direct and sometimes the earlier conversations felt like an interrogation. I was at loss as how to answer the Q. In my head: if I said I attached, that'd be lying. But if I said I was single, wouldn't that be desperate? Oh, s**t.
In retrospective, I should've handled it as a joke right? Along the lines of: "apasal? Ko nak ngorat aku ke?" or "why? ur available?" hahahaha, seriously, that'll render them speechless. I don't think they are familiar with my ability to drop bombs like that (bombs that sometimes burn me too huhu).
I ended up evading to answer the question. I just smiled a smile with a thousand meanings. But then, he said with all the drama he can muster, the best advice I've had about being single:
It's ok to be single

Haha! Plain brilliant! If I can I'd salute you!
...We didn't exchange numbers, thay didn't ask me directly, they only implied it. Being the blur person that I am, I don't know what to do. However, thay did say they'll add me at Facebook. Were they just joking? Beats me. I can't tell! Nevertheless, I tried searching for them and add them myself. Just to show goodwill between friends. I really appreciate that they talked to me, I was unable to do so on my own. Who would've thought that the ones that crossed our lives in the past would do so now in the present? Hope that all the friends that I've made in the past, would be with me always in the future :)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Cloudy path ahead

You're the kind of person who just can't settle for anything less than the whole shebang. That's the way you are on a daily basis, but the way you're feeling now ... well, let's just say that you won't even be able to fake being satisfied if you're not. And that will be true for just about any department of life. When it comes down to the issue of love, you seek genuine connections

Haha...this is kinda eerie. Btw, this is my horoscope for today. I sure don't need the stars telling me something that I already feel but fail to articulate. Words pertaining to abstract emotions or other intangible feelings don't come easily to me.
So much on my mind: the dead end that I foresee ahead, the unsatisfactory current situations and the fear of the future when I'll be thrust with responsibilities that I am unsure I can carry or not.

Can I do my part when it is asked of me? Or will I fail miserably?
I pray that all goes well. InsyaAllah.