Tell me about it

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

~Neil Gaiman

Sometimes, I hate it too.

Dancing in a minefield

I mistrust myself to act accordingly in a distrustful environment.
It's like you're waging a defensive war against a force that would pounce on you on any time that you miss a step.
Take one step forward, but then two steps back.
Ever watchful of your back.
Glance to the right, you see people whispering and you feel unsafe. A glance to the left, you see people smiling and you feel suspicious.
What the hell is going on?
All you trust is yourself, but it's lonely at the top.
But the silence keeps secrets.
That is what's important.

Solemn

Silence by ~donjuki on deviantART

Sometimes the things that play in my head are hard to put into words.
Speech is also not an option as it fails me more than written letters ever do.
.
.
.
So I sit in silence, in hope that by a miracle, mutual understanding is found and your truth is the same as my truth..whichever one is the better.