Red race

Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!

~As said by the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland (Lewis Carroll)

I'm now in the lab on a beautiful Sunday, doing a total of 600 PCR reactions since yesterday. Plus, next week my supervisors want to meet all the students for progress report.

Aiyo.I'm kinda worried, because although I think that I've done quite a lot, it is not as much as I would like it to be. There is a dire need for speed here. I'm feeling like I'm running until I'm red in the face on the treadmill but I'm not getting anywhere near to what I want.

But, if I slow down then the treadmill will still go on and make me trip and fall off the race with a bleeding head and a bruised ego to boot. So there is never really an option of slowing down. I'm not keen on taking the option either even if it exist.

Ok, the thesis aside, I have some hard questions that keep nagging at the back of my head. One time I thought I'm over it but then something happened and voila! I'm stuck with my hard questions again. However, the questions and threads of thought are currently tangled up together like an impossible knot. At first glance, there is no hope of unraveling them but in time I'll sort them out.

For now, let's just focus on this thesis.

My state of mind through the words of others

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart

~ E.E Cummings (1894-1962)

If you are going through hell, keep going

~ Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Sometimes it is not enough to do our best; we must do what is required

~ Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to stay in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!

~ Lewis Carroll

She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it)

~ Lewis Carroll

Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don't have the time or patience to pronounce the entire disorder. That should be a disorder right there, TBD - too busy disorder.

~ Ellen DeGeneres

Write drunk; edit sober

~ Hemingway

If A equals success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut

~ Albert Einstein

Without haste, but without rest

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I am tired. My arm aches. My head boils. My feet are cold. But I am not aware of any weakness.

~ Zane Grey

If what you have done yesterday still looks big to you, you haven't done much today

~ Mikhail Gorbachev

Develop a built-in bullshit detector

~ Ernest Hemingway

No person has the right to rain on your dreams

~ Marian Edelman

Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine, and valleys of frustration and failure

~ Calvin and Hobbes

Oh, and to finish this off:

Welcome to Grad School everyone! :p

Seeking solace

Love dogs

One night a man was crying Allah. Allah.

His lips grew sweet with the praising,

until a cynic said, "So. I have heard you calling out,

but have you ever gotten any response?"

The man had no answer for that.

He quit praying and fell into a confused sleep

where he dreamed he saw Khidr, the guide of souls,

in a thick green foliage.

"Why did you stop praising?"

"Because I've never heard anything back."

This longing you express

is the return message.

The grief you cry out from

draws you toward union.

Your pure sadness that wants help

is the secret cup.

Listen to the moan of a dog for its master.

That whining is the connection.

There are love dogs no one knows the names of.

Give your life to be one of them.

~Rumi

Sometimes your own words might not be enough. But without the articulation of your thoughts into words, it weighs heavily in the heart. Threatening to overflow like a burst dam, no longer sufficient to hold what's inside.

Silence can only contain so much, at some point of time it has to be broken so new things could be filled into the empty space. Seeking solace in the words of others to understand your own hell, it provides an outlet that is completely necessary. It gives the questions a break from needing answers.

.

.

.

Isn't that a good enough reason?