Eternity is ours. Time is merely an illusion

Yang fana adalah waktu. Kita abadi:
memungut detik demi detik,
merangkainya seperti bunga
sampai pada suatu hari
kita lupa untuk apa.
"Tapi, yang fana adalah waktu, bukan?"
tanyamu.
Kita abadi.

~Yang Fana Adalah Waktu, Sapardi Djoko Damono

Kemelut

"Kau buat apa sini?" tanya Sunyi dengan nada kasar tapi perlahan, seakan kecewa.
"Aku kembali untuk mencari jawapan pada pertanyaan fikiranku sendiri. Kehidupan terasa bingit dalam kecelaruan, buat aku rasa sukar untuk melerainya satu-satu" balasku kembali, degil dan enggan berganjak.
"Tapi aku tidak pernah ada jawapan. Yang banyak hanya teka-teki dan tanda rahsia. Sudah kunyatakan dulu, hanya sebahagian saja yang kadang-kadang dapat ditanggap mata hati. Yang lain-lainnya kau patut tinggalkan atau kau pancung dengan realiti!" Suaranya mulai meninggi.
Aku diam dan berdiri membelakangi dia. Malas aku menjelaskan betapa realiti itu penuh pula dengan perspektif, dengan banyaknya kebarangkalian yang menjadikan masa depan itu menyamai warna langit saat itu: kelabu.
Tetapi, aku ada rahsia. Andai ditanya jawapan kepada apa yang aku cari, mungkin aku tidak dapat menyatakan itu dengan jelas. Aku sendiri kurang pasti persoalannya. Yang aku dapat kiaskan cuma ia terasa berat dan dekat. Sangat dekat sampaikan jika aku tiba-tiba menemu jawapan, aku yakin aku akan mengenalinya. Tanpa perlu aku fikir lagi. Waktu itu, hanya rasa memandu arah dan semestinya akan kuturut.
Sebenarnya aku tahu, berdirinya aku sini dengan Sunyi lansung tidak menyelesaikan apa-apa. Aku duduk dan mengisyarat agar dia pun duduk disebelahku. Aku fikir, Tidak mengapa. Waktu ini, yang aku perlukan hanya duduk disini, bersama Sunyi. Siapa tau? Mungkin cara ini, rintihan aku lebih diperkenan Tuhan.

Brace yourselves. It is going to be a fight until the end.

I have said before that the signs from Allah swt sometimes comes so subtle that you don't realize it knocks softly on your consciousness, then enter to whisper softly to your heart. However, these signs can also come hit you one fine moment and leave you stunned and loss for words.
These days, I've been having more of the latter. Many messengers He sent, some from my past and some from my present.  Not enough with that are continuous strings of events that crush my heart with every turn, flooring any spirit I have left over.
Maybe it is He who calls the one who forgets.
We need so much but give too little.
Or maybe we think of ourselves too much, that we even demand for miracles.
Even if the future seem bleak and dreary, it is never our fate to just give up.
Remember Prophet Yunus a.s?
He tried and tried until he felt there is nothing to try anymore. He gave up on his cause, felt there is no hope left so he threw in the towel and left. He left maybe because he felt he should get something better for his efforts. All those years toiling to preach Allah's religion. He felt it is time for him to get his dues.

Astagfirullah, may Allah grant mercy to us all.

Prophet Yunus a.s boarded a ship to leave and get away. But not long after, the skies grew dark and a storm brews. High waves crashed into the ship, threatening to wreck the ship and drown everything in it. All the sailors started to discard all excess weight to enable the ship to keep sailing. One by one, until all have been discarded.
But still the dark fate of drowning remain. The ship need to be unloaded more! The captain prepared lots and everyone drew, desperately hoping that their lot is not the shortest one. After they all compared, the shortest one was drawn by Prophet Yunus a.s. All was aghast, how can they throw a prophet into the sea? They decided to draw again, but again the same replayed. And then again.
Realization dawned on Prophet Yunus a.s on how wrong he was and that the destiny to be thrown into the sea was indeed his. He insisted to jump, but all stopped him. At last Prophet Yunus a.s was adamant, stating that even if several more lots are to be drawn, his name would come up as he is the one Allah swt wanted to be thrown off deck. Meanwhile, the storm kept blowing as all hell broke loose.
The situation pressing, the captain finally relented and Prophet Yunus a.s jumped.
As he jumped, with the grace of Allah he was immediately eaten by a whale, sentenced to layers of darkness for him to reflect and repent. Inside the belly of the whale Prophet Yunus a.s prayed incessantly to seek forgiveness and mercy for his khilaf. After a time, Allah swt accepted his supplications and ordered the whale to put Prophet Yunus a.s at the shore.
With the love of Allah swt Prophet Yunus as was sustained by a gourd plant vine until he regained strength and able to return to his people whom he deserted.
When finally he arrived to his people, he was pleasantly surprised to see that his people had repented and was now worshipping Allah swt as He should be worshiped. It turns out that as soon as Prophet Yunus a.s left, the skies darken and threaten to break into a hard storm. The people were reminded of the fate of past people and they repented and waited for their prophet to come back to them. If Yunus as was to be patient a little longer, fought a little harder and willed a little stronger, he would've seen that his efforts has paid off.

This is a very short rendition of the story, more here. However, so many things can be taken from this tale. For me they are:
The importance of holding on and not giving up even if we have been fighting for so long.
The need to faith in the mercy and grace of Allah swt even if we have sinned because miracle are never impossible for Allah swt
The necessity of a soft heart that is able to recognize the cues and signs of Allah swt to bring us back to Him.
Never underestimate the power of repentance and supplication to change our destiny and fate.

..There are many more but these are what is important for me and my family now. We must remain strong and never give up until the end!
La Haula Wala Quwwata Illa Billahil 'Aliyyil 'Adzim!

Pujukan menghadapi realiti

Jangan pernah main hati.
Sekali lagi, kau jua yang tahu apa yang boleh dan tidak boleh kau tahankan.
Yakinlah. Sebenarnya berapa bilangan "tidak" yang kau perlukan untuk yakin jalan itu, orang itu, takdir itu bukan untukmu?
Ramai lagi yang perlu kehadiranmu, perhatianmu, kefahamanmu, kasih sayangmu.
Kau perlu lari menuju takdir, berani mengambil jalan yang sukar. Semuanya agar bila tiba waktu kau meninggalkan semuanya nanti, jejak ke akhirat itu pasti dan kukuh. Perhitungan akhir itu sahaja yang perlu kau risaukan. Selain itu hanya permainan jiwa yang lemah. Jangan sampai kau hilang pertaruhanmu, dilempar jauh kedasar marak.
Sekarang tetapkan fikiranmu, merdekakan jiwamu dari belenggu kemahuan.