Slm
Just a quick post before i commence to my labwork..

Anyone in a state of SEEKING can never be happy. Only those who are constantly FINDING are fulfilled. And finding is not something that happens to us- it is something we DO.
Alan Cohen

Looking at the things that happen to me, I discovered that even after 24 years of living in this world, the simple lessons in life still surprise me. I'm still learning and my tutors are the people around me young and old. It seems that pearls of wisdom does not always come from the old and supposedly wise. Everything and everyone in life has something to teach you, it is only a matter of whether you realize it or not.
So instead of seeking happiness, make it a point to find happiness. Be happy and proud of the little achievements and luxuries that you have the fortune to experience. Be thankful and happy for the little things of life like having a tasty breakfast or seeing the sun rise or having great friends. Instead of seeking answers, find answers. Sometimes the things that are right in front of us are those that we fail to see. People are always sacrificing one thing in hope to get the other. But while you are striving to be better or get better things, do not forget to be thankful with what you have or had. You are given a chance. Don't waste it. Taste and savor each moment of your life and work hard. Only when you are tired will you know the simple pleasures of rest. Only when you are sad you long to be happy. Only when you are sick you remember how it was when you were healthy.
I think that as we continue to the end of our life, some things become clearer, some things become more incomprehensible, some things get embedded in our minds and some things are just forgotten. But sometimes it is best to let go. Let go, let it be, leave it to the Almighty and move on with the lesson engraved on your heart and mind. Like the lyrics of the song The Great Escape from Boys Like Girls :

All of the wasted time
The hours that were left behind
The answers that we'll never find
They don't mean a thing tonight

So just remember that sometimes the big things don't matter. It is just a part of a bigger plan. So long as you've done your best and gave all you can, then be heartened that there is nothing more that you could do.

Words from my dearest friend Fizah:

Sekiranya engkau tidak pernah tersungkur dalam cinta dunia,
Maka bersyukurlah kerana engkau antara insan yang terpilih untuk menyintainya dengan sebenar- benar cinta...
Bersabarlah,
Moga suatu hari nanti milikmu adalah pecinta sepertimu...

slm
nnt len kali lah smbung Travelog Haji tu k...
skrg mcm nk tulis psl lain plak.
Sejak bbrp minggu kbelakangan ni, asyik mengantuk je memanjang. Sebelum ni w/pun mengantuk jg, tp xde la teruk mcm ni. The last time dijangkiti virus mengantuk ni masa kt SAMURA dulu.
Tp tu bukan virus dh, tu dah kira wabak sebab mcm semua pelajar pun menunjukkan sindrom yg sama spt:
- mengantuk semasa kelas
-menghabiskan masa prep petang dengan tidur
-tidur sementara tggu cikgu dtg
-tidur berjemaah satu kelas sampai digelar kelas kubur

dan lain2 lg..
adakah virus ini menyerang lg?!
apakah penawarnya?!
xde ke org buat research psl ni??!!
..maybe sebab xde commercial value kot, xde org nk bg funding hehe

tp, suspek sebab diri berat nk buat writing :(

Kne kuatkn semangat!
Ingat yg bersama2 kesusahan itu beriringan dengannya kesenangan :)

Slm

Sekarang dlm proses mbaca buku Travelog Haji: Mengubah Sempadan Iman oleh Prof Muhd Kamil Ibrahim.
X habis baca lg. Tapi...
Buku ni best. Gaya penceritaannya yang bersahaja dan merendah diri memungkinkan pembaca biasa relate dengan pengalamannya. Travelog ini lebih kepada penceritaan pengalaman dan pandangan hidup peribadi penulis, bukannya buku tentang bagaimana mengerjakan haji..
Setakat yang saya baca buku ini, ada bbrp pengajaran yang saya dapat. Semuanya kesimpulan sendiri apabila membaca catatannya. Mungkin lain org yang baca, lain pandangannya. My thoughts are my own, everyone should at least have that.

Pertama; buku ini membuatkn diri terfikir yang masih ada ruang untuk memperbaiki diri. Tak guna merendah diri hanya kerana diri jahil. Penulis tanpa segan mengaku yang diri tidak pernah khatam al- Quran, pernah memperlekehkan kepentingan solat dan kurang kesyukuran atas nikmat. Tapi itu dulu. Semua boleh dan mampu berubah. Yang kekal hanya Dia. Jadi kenapa mesti malu untuk memperbaiki diri? Asal tau diri tu jahil dan mahu berubah, maka InsyaAllah akan dipermudahkan jalannya. Yang penting hati. Orang boleh kata macam- macam tapi yang penting ialah keberanian kita untuk memerdekakan jiwa kita dengan teguh berpegang pada prinsip. Kalau hidup adalah didaktik orang sekeliling atau untuk memuaskan hati orang, itu bukan hidup merdeka. Itu hidup berhamba. Kita cumalah hambaNya, jadi janganlah pula berhambakan selainNya.

Kadang2, saya perhatikan ada org yg semacam malu utk berubah sebab takut pandangan org. pandangan yg semacam menghukum (judging). Seolah- olah melihat mereka berkata dalam hati, "Eleh, die ni konon je" pastu lg teruk kalo dtambah dengan mulut yg menjuih semacam jijik dan memperlekehkan usahanya untuk berubah. Hanya yg berani dan tabah sahaja yg mampu menahan panahan mata sebegini.
Sebab itulah, kalau hendak menasihat, kene ikhlas. Or it'll show in your eyes. Nnt sia- sia.
Sayang...

......to be con't

slm
Today i plan to kick back n relax...
after a long tiring week at the lab that is more taxing to the heart and mind than to the body..
ultimately: I'm exhausted.
I want to stop.
I want to go to the beach.
I want to sleep soundly without waking in the middle of the night worrying.
I want my life back!
Now in my mind i am seriously considering my plan to convert my MSc to PhD.
Is this the right thing to do?
Am I equipped to handle it?
Is this what I want?
I seriously don't know.
Now I am rushing for the deadline. Time never stop to let me catch up. Time flies and left me behind most of the time..

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Looking back at my friendster blog, i think it's time to republish an article again. I am republishing it here because the friendster blog doesn't have the archiving function and I am afraid it'll be lost in cyberspace abyss.
The following article I wrote when I was struggling to juggle my responsibilities in my entrepreneurs club, silat, study n final year project during my final year at Unimas. Even then time never seemed enough but i managed to go through it...somehow (how did i do it? can I do it again? hopefully). So this is a reminder for you and me, may we get something, anything, out of it.

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24/7 tak cukup..

assalamualaikum

lamanye tak tulis dlm blog nih, ye la dah thn 3 ni macam2 hal. nak kejar assignment lagi, test lagi, kuiz lagi, nak organize dinner biotech lagi, seminar lagi....hehe macam mengada plak kan? macam la orang lain tak banyak kerja.

ari tu pergi unit sukan unimas sebab urusan dinner n jumpa lah ngan en suhairi...pegi tu ngan azie. so azie pun mengadulah ngan en suhairi, kata azie dia macam tak cukup masa nak buat semua, seperti 24 jam sehari tu tak cukup untuk menyelesaikan masalah2 yang datang. tau tak en suhairi kata apa?

dia kata, "tu lah kamu, sibuk sangat dengan urusan dunia, tu yang rasa tak cukup masa. Cuba fikir balik, ada tak dalam sehari tu kamu peruntukkan masa walaupun seketika untuk berzikir pada Allah? seandainya kita kejar dunia, Allah akan bagi kamu dunia banyak2. hah, nah! Ambil semua! ambillah semua sampai kamu rasa masa itu tidak cukup. tu la, sibuk sangat dengan dunia. tapi ingat, jika kita ada peruntukkan masa untuk Allah, maka Allah akan melapangkan dada kita dan memberi kita kesempatan-kesempatan, sampai kita rasa yang walaupun terlalu banyak urusan pastinya akan selesai dengan izin Allah"

hehe...tu la dah kena sebijik, bukan azie je tapi lisa pun mengakulah yang memang terasa habis.

ye la kan, kan masa tu dari dulu lagi memang 24 jam? ok je untuk berlaku semua benda...matahari tetap naik pada waktunya, bulan pun tetap mengambang pada malamnya walaupun terpaksa round dunia ni setiap kali? kita ni tak perlu pun round dunia tapi dah mengada kata tak cukup masa, betapa agungnya kebesaran Allah, setiapnya berjalan pada paksinya tanpa sekali pun melanggar sunnatullah. soalnya sekarang, masa kita itu kita gunakan untuk apa?

sombongnya manusia ye...kita tak ada apa2 yang boleh dibanggakan. kita lah makhluk yang perlukan makanan, pakaian, kasih sayang. hakikatnya kita makhluk yang memerlukan, tapi kita minta macam2.

dulu lisa pernah terfikir, kenapa la orang minta supaya dipanjangkan umur...buat apa jadi tua kan? masa tu terasa macam roti expired atas para kat belakang kedai runcit sebab makcik tu terlupa nak buang,macam tu la lisa rasa agaknya bila dah tua...bila usia tua kan kita tak dapat beri sumbangan sepertimana org muda2, sebab kudrat yang dipinjamkan Allah dah ditarik balik.

so bukankah lebih baik kita berdoa untuk umur yang diberkati Allah? pendek atau panjang umur, jika diberkati pasti lebih baik. jika umur diberkati,umur kita ni akan digunakan untuk perkara2 yang benar2 bermakna, supaya kita boleh menunaikan tanggungjawab sebagai khalifahNya dimuka bumi ini insyaAllah.

kesimpulannya, andainya kita mengingati Allah, maka Allah pun tidak akan melupakan kita...yakin dengan itu k ;)

This is an interesting story ==>

LONDON (Reuters) - Retired hospital porter Steve Smith, who is suffering from a potentially fatal heart defect, won almost 19 million pounds ($38 million) on Britain's National Lottery -- but said he would give it all up if he could spend a few more years living with his wife Ida.

"I have a one in 10 chance of living. It's like a ticking time bomb," said the 58-year old Smith, enjoying a bittersweet glass of celebratory champagne with his wife Ida.

Smith, who has an aortic aneurysm, told reporters when collecting his check: "It's Ida I worry for, it's leaving her behind. I would give all that back if I am allowed to still be with her because there are no shops in the cemetery are there?"

Smith landed the giant prize with an extra stroke of luck -- the couple stopped off on the way home from a family visit to buy some lucky dip tickets and it was one of those which hit the jackpot.

This story just emphasizes the fact that money can't buy you life...or health, or love or anything that matters.
So why worry so much about it?

In the end it all doesn't matter...

slm
i have officially turned 24 years old on 26th January.
Old? Hmm...define "old" hehe
I can't believe it, i have been in this world for 24 long years!
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Better or for worse, i am truly thankful for 2008. I feel like the beginning of 2008 is a refreshing change from the monotonous and dull end of 2007.
I want to become stronger inside, happier and overall better person.

I don't want to be 10 years older and be ashamed of what i did 10 years ago. I want the me in the future and the me yesterday to be proud of who i am today.

This hope is not new, in fact i had it since i was little.
Actually, this hope has a strange origin because it was thought up by me when i was watching the cartoon "Doraemon"
Have u ever watched the cartoon or read its comics?
I think you should, what's so wrong about a little playfulness anyway? We shouldn't try to act mature every time. Sometimes it's nice to let go.
When I was little this cartoon is a must for me to watch :D
In this cartoon, there are two main characters; Nobita and Doraemon. Nobita is an innocent, naive and playful but sometimes unthinking ordinary kid that has a friend from the future called Doraemon. Doraemon is a robot in the form of a blue cat with no ears. Doraemon really cares for Nobita and is always there to help him in his misadventures even though Nobita exasperate him sometimes.
In addition to that, Nobita has 3 friends from school that always joins Nobita in his misadventures: Sizuka (the love of Nobita's life), Giant (the fat bully) and Sinyu (the rich-and-always-showing-off friend with zig zag hair).
With me so far? haha, quite an odd bunch right? here is an image of the whole gang ==>

Ok, so back to the origin of the hope (sorry for the sidetracking hehe)...
In this cartoon, Nobita is able to visit his future using a time machine located in his study table drawer (imagine: a drawer that opens up a whole new world)
Firstly, he went back to the time of his ancestors but was disappointed to discover that his ancestors was only a lazy good-for-nothing farmer that has no drive to become better. Then,he visited himself when he was born and he heard and saw all the happiness and hope of his parents for the birth of their son. Lastly, he visited his future but he was again disappointed to see that he has not become what he hoped to be. The him in the future was still the same lazy good for nothing guy struggling in a job with low pay, his attitude out the window and also managed to lose the love of his life Sizuka. He was alarmed with what he discovered and was angry at the him in the future for being useless and did his best to turn things around (Kinda like the film Back to the Future starring Micheal J. Fox).
Then he went home, quite down and sad with what he now knew.
When he climbed out of the drawer, to his great surprise he saw the him in future in front of him. But then the tables turned. The him in the future was blaming him for all the things that happened and demanded the reason why he did not think it was worthwhile to change his bad habits there and then and aspire to be better?
Nobita was speechless. It did not occur to him that his actions now would affect who he was in the future.
Then, Nobita struck a deal with the him in the future that he will not remain good-for-nothing forever and would make a conscious effort to change for the better. In exchange for that, the him in the future promised that he would try everything in his power to achieve success and not to let Sizuka get away.
This is the story that makes me want to better now and not wait tomorrow. Because who can say that there is still tomorrow for us?
Nobita is so lucky that his future could come down to the present time and yell, WAKE UP!
But what about us? Who will keep us on track? Do we really need a voice from the future to realise where we are today?
Do we have tomorrow to repent for the things that we do today?
I don't know. The best thing is, don't wait to find out because time is running out. What you have is here and now, don't waste the chance.
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hehe, who would've thought that Doraemon could be so philosophical?

This here is something i wrote years ago, during the Sumatra earthquakes, maybe in 2006, but i'm not sure... Just felt it's time to share it ;)
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Musings of a Musafir

What lies exactly for us after obtaining a basic Degree? or maybe a Masters degree? have u honestly thought of that?
Many people aspires to get a job, find a soulmate, settle down, have a few kids, get old and eventually die...that is the super-shortened and over-simplified version of life, really. but let's face it: LIFE IS NOT THAT SIMPLE.
Nothing is that straightforward these days. Even if it is, i would not want it.
Yes, i know you're probably thinking that i am a complete moron for not desiring a good life like that. But tell me, what defines life?
what is this life for?
For me at least, life is all about niat,tests (a.k.a problem) and ultimately how u overcome or cope with that problem (=test). Not the mid term or finals kind of test, mind you. It is something greater than that.
Let me illustrate this further: from the moment you wake up, what is it that u do? some people miss calls their loved one (to wake them for subuh prayers? i heard it was a romantic thing to do), some people head straight to the toilet ( maybe they ate a super hot sambal that makes the stomach grumbling early in the day) and some others take their wudhu' and perform prayers. All these are typical activities to start the day but as a true muslim, no matter what we do, we should get 'pahala' for it. so even if u miss call the one u love, u should be getting your share of pahala. but again, i stress that it is not that simple. examine again, what is in your heart when u miss call, when u go to the toilet, when u pray? what is your 'niat' exactly? niat is what determines whether what we do is an ibadah or a useless act. here lies the crux of the problem. how can we fix our niat so that we can always get Allah's grace? i dont have any clear answer for this except that we have to train ourselves to be close to Allah. To cleanse our dirty hearts so that "nur hidayah" comes through. We must always know that everything happens beacuse Allah desires it so and Allah will never ever be cruel to His subjects. Allah gives us everything when He owes us nothing. Just because of His love, we are alive and breathing.
If we realise it or not, we rely on Allah for everything. even the unbelievers do this even if they don't realise it. An obvious example is the earthquake that hit malaysia recently from Sumatra. this earthquake rattled us so much and makes us panic out of our minds just because we have never considered the possibility that what happenned at other countries could happen to us. the ground that rely on to be strong and still is no longer so. it shakes with a force unimaginable to our naive minds and rendered every breakthrough in science and technology useless to stop the wrath of God. this is equivalent to waking up one morning and taking for granted that the sky will always be above us and suddenly we discover that the sky has fallen and taking us as victims. we are suddenly in the other world wihout so much as a warning. Wake up! death comes anytime, anywhere. Doomsdays is also around the corner and all we can do is worry about the unrequited love, the job oppurtunity we missed or the assignment we failed to complete?
since i was little, i have always been told that we live for Allah. Allah places us here to serve Him, abide all His rules and avoid all that angers Him. so why is that we are only living a life of emptiness? a life with no purpose? a life that is only concerned with his/her own good? this is clearly because we have lost our way . we are still searching for menaing when it is clearly stated in the Quran.
Here is one example: Have u ever felt that u are a little child lost in a carnival full of people? at first u had your mom guiding you but because there too much people bustling about, you lost her grip. suddenly u realise that your mother is not holding your hand anymore. u are alone and it is up to you to survive this. are you going to cry? are you going to ask for help? are you ging to run sensely in the vain search of your mother? tell me, what is it that u hope to do?
Then it dawned on you that the reality is, you did not hold on to her hand strong enough. it was you that let go of her hand because you are too excited looking at other people and the fun things available for your pleasure at the carnival. so what is the use of crying? it was u that let go, your mother never left u. she was standing there all along, waiting for u to come to her. but u were to busy with other stuff and it was only when u realised that u were lost, u searched for her. so tell me honestly, is it fair scolding your mother and sulking because she made you lose your way? why are u running away form the responsibility of your own actions?
This is only an analogy. The child is u, the carnival is our temporary world and the mother is the guidance Allah gave u. Allah never left u, it was u that left Allah.
Allah gives us problems to solve to make us strong and to test whether we are true muslims. that is what life is all about; getting through all trials and tribulations of the world for Allah. Only for Him. After earnig your degree or whatever that u hope to achieve, please do not forget your place in this world. u are here for a reason. Allah has not taken our lives yet because we have something to do. not merely live an empty life, but to serve Him. to serve Him is to help uphold Islam in this world.
Can't u see our brother and sisters in Islam suffering all around the world? are you just going to stand there and say," i feel so sorry for them but there is nothing i can do." Remember, our brothers and sisters in Palestine, Somalia, Iraq and even in neighboring Thailand and others do not need your sympathy. They need your help, but they do not beg for it. They shouldn't have to. Every little thing counts. Allah will give everything its due. if u do something, even if it is the size of an atom, u will get paid for it. Maybe now is not the time for u to suffer but when the time comes, do not wonder why no one helps.
Ask yourself first, have u helped before?

Slm
Yesterday i went out with my high school buddies; Alifah n Diana.
Can't believe how long the years have gone and we haven't seen each other. i think it's been almost 7 years...
But true friends stay together, even when not together in the truest sense of the word, we were still together in our hearts :)

It makes me happy seeing that my friends have done good for themselves; Alifah now works at an international engineering company (UK based) and Diana is now a research officer at HKL.
The only sad note was when we found out that Alifah may have to be transferred to UK for a year, as part of her training. However, that is not conclusive yet.
But thinking it over again, i think it's ok if she transferred because it would be best for her budding career.

Initially, i was afraid that i would be lost for words if i met them again because there'd be no current shared experiences that could be talked about. silly, silly me.
Thankfully, i was dead wrong, and it's unbelievable that the very thought could ever cross my mind. It turned out that time was never enough, we were talking non stop and about everything! hehe
The meeting was like we were never apart, because the warmth still felt like yesteryears.
it's hard to sum 7 years of life into just a couple of hours. so we agreed that we should meet up again. And i can't wait!
:) *happy*

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Right now, i'm missing all my friends.
My friends in SRK Raja Muda, SMKSAAS, SAMURA, Kolej Kurniawan, KMPk and of course UNIMAS.
Even though i am not the most talkative person, i do like to hear stories hehe
sometimes the best way to get to know a person is over a cup of coffee or lunch at a nice quiet place.
But the top of my list of friends i miss the most would be my closest friends during my journey through each level of formal education.
Every level represent a complete chapter of my life. And you, my friends are part of it.
For this, i thank you :)