Right now, I think I want to marry a good guy with money. I don't want my kid to ever beg or ask for money from the government to study. It is so hard even though all we want is just some support while we toil away with our task of furthering our studies. Is that too much to ask? They expect so much, but then there is no system to deal with our needs.
But the at the end of the day they expect us to be patriotic and work for the betterment of the country. Seriously, it comes no surprise to me when so many scholars are opting to apply for overseas scholarships and then be bonded to work for that particular country (obvious example: Singapore). It offers so much more than what our own country is willing to give us!
...the problem is that we have such flawed system. It's time to change!!
If this keeps up, then I think the aim for having at least 60% PhD holders by the year 2020 is closer to being a dream than being a reality.
Cut the crap!
Why bother so much with red tape?!
All started when I received a phone call yesterday from MOSTI saying that I can't apply for NSF. I tried explaining my situation but then, they wouldn't budge.
Why can't they let me compete with the others? Am I not good enough?
I even asked the makcik at MOSTI : "Cik, cuba tengok proposal saya, adakah saya tidak layak?"
She agreed, "Ye, memanglah awak layak, tapi..." and then bla... bla... bla...
Seriously, if I am eligible then what exactly is the problem??
The makcik and pakcik of MOSTI kept maintaining that I would fail the interview, that they would not even consider my application. [why did they say those things? so unprofessional]
I am fine if I failed to get the interview. But, why did they call only to tell me that I can't apply?
Senyap2 sudah la. Ni pergi telefon kata xkan dapat la, xkan di consider lansung. Xke sakit hati?
I long to ask, "Apa masalah cik?"
I know I am bonded to another scholarship under MOSTI, but I have clarified my situation to the officers of MOSTI that came to UiTM during the registration. I did exactly what they told me. I was only trying my very best, doing everything in my power to achieve everything I can. If they [the MOSTI officers I consulted earlier] were misinformed, then that is very unfortunate. But hey, shit happens. I am truly ok with it if they just let go of it.

The right thing for them to do was just consider my application as unsuccessful. Then I'll check whether I succeeded or not like everybody else. Like a normal scholarship applicant.
If I fail, then ok, I'll move on.
But no, they had to call me. I did not call them. THEY called ME twice. TWICE! Yesterday and today, harping on the same things. I can't help but think that I am so important to them that they care so much about me..[yeah, right].
Maybe they are trying to be heroes and save me from the hurt of applying for something that I could not have?
Wow, so considerate of them. If that is the case, I thank you with all my heart.
But, why not also call my friends who are in the same situation as me?
I really am puzzled.
Semua diserahkn padaNya. Apa2 pun yang terjadi, kehendakNya lah yang terbaik.
Malas nak fikir.