"Dont make someone a priority when they make you an option"
How do you feel when somebody you don't have any problems with suddenly starts acting weird, avoiding eye contact at all cost and ultimately avoiding YOU. The sad thing is, you don't even know why. The person much rather call you than talking face to face even though the distance is not far..and that only as a last resort when nobody else is available.
Firstly, you tried to ignore and push it to the end of your mind, hoping to erase it from your memory database entirely by convincing yourself that it is nothing. But unknowingly to you, the hurt stays and spreads like a tumor that burdened and weakened your heart. You start asking dangerous questions like:
"Am I too repulsive to even look at?"
"Did I do something wrong unknowingly?"
"Why is this happening so suddenly?"
"Why does these things always happen to me?"
"Is there something wrong with me?"
WHY?
Then, when you fail to answer these dead end questions, confusion turns to anger. Angry at the person for treating you this way when all the time your intentions are good. Angry at yourself for feeling hurt when that person does not know or refuse to acknowledge your hurt. Exasperated at yourself for failing to ignore the situation as effectively as the other person.
The whole thing is a whole new messed up situation. One day you helped the person suddenly the next day the person acts as if you're nobody.
Yes, I am hurt. Every time i remember it, it is like a deep slicing of a knife.
This is not a desire to be the only one that the person could ask for help, but the way that the person treated me is not the way to treat a person. It is not fair to suddenly exclude a person after the person has helped you. This is a perfect example for the Malay peribahasa "Habis madu, sepah dibuang". I know I should just let it be and move on because it is a small thing, it is nothing. But if I feel hurt, then it surely must be something?
Why can't I just go on with my life? Please, PLEASE go away and do not mess with my already messed up self. I have enough troubles without you adding to it all.
