Drive

It has been a great and fulfilling raya for me this year :)
I suspect it's because I'm more involved in things now.
I noticed that after recent events that happened to me, I'm beginning to take charge of my life more.
My life motto as of right now is, "I am RESPONSIBLE for my own HAPPINESS."

This is the song that sums it all:

Drive
by Incubus

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much
I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer.
It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague,
haunting mass appeal.
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
should be the one behind the wheel.

Whatever tomorrow brings,
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes, Yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there..I'll be there.

So, if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
Aah-ah-oo-o-o.

It's driven me before and it seems to be the way
that everyone else gets around.
But lately I'm beginning to find that when
I drive myself my light is found.

Whatever tomorrow brings,
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes, Yeahhh
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there...I'll be there.

Would you choose water over wine....hold the wheel and drive?

Whatever tomorrow brings,
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes, Yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there..I'll be there.

My aim now is to focus on my research project, finish it all off, get a job, possibly get a husband too (notice that I don't put boyfriend? I think I don't have time for all those things..hish...getting all fed up I guess) and all the while focusing my attention to my family and dear friends.
I think that in the past I'm like a lone dandelion caressed by the wind. When the wind blows right, I'd go right. When the wind blows left, to the left I go.
No more.
I've talked to my Mom, and I think that if I don't get to convert my scholarship, then must try and complete this project as fast as I can, the best that I can.
I hope to get it all done before anything happens to Ayah.
I can only try, and try I will.

Dear Allah,
Please..please let my path be smooth..
It is YOU who knows what's in my heart, may I be bestowed with what is best according to YOUR knowledge.
Amin.

Hari ni first day duduk rumah sewa.
Walaupun sebenarnya bukanlah baru duduk berjauhan dengan keluarga, entah kenapa kali ni rasa susah pula nak melangkah keluar.
Padahal malam tu hantar Lili pergi rumah tu (kami duduk sebilik), sanggup x ikut dia balik kerana nak lama-lama dirumah...
hehehe..apa salahnya manja2 sikit walaupun dah nk masuk 24thn ;)
Ini bukanlah kali pertama duduk jauh, malah dari dulu lagi dah duduk berjauhan. Bermula dengan Sekolah Menengah Sains Muar ke Kolej Karniawan ke Matrix Gopeng ke Unimas, Sarawak...sekarang barulah duduk dekat dengan rumah, kat UiTM Shah Alam.
jadi kenapa la rasa berat je nak meninggalkan rumah? Padahal inilah yang paling dekat jaraknya.
...mayb sebab dah rasa selesa n seronok duduk dengan mak ayah n adik2. Dulu, bila duduk jauh, memang jauh betul2. So memang xde pilihan lain, nak atau x kene juga tabahkan diri n hilangkan kegusaran itu seketika. Tapi sekarang...sangat dekat, tapi sekali lagi terpaksa berjauhan. So near and yet so far...
Ya Allah, br tsedar betapa rindunya kat semua!