Pertahankanlah jiwa kalian

Seandainya pada hari ini kalian masih tetap sengsara seperti ini, tanpa adanya perubahan yang bererti, nescaya nama baik kalian pasti hilang, rasa gentar yang ada pada musuh pula berganti menjadi berani. Oleh itu, pertahankan jiwa kalian
Tariq bin Aziz

Subhanallah, sangat bererti kata- kata ini. Siapa yang perlukan pujukan diwaktu hati mula goyah? Bukan pujukan yang diperlukan! Yang diperlukan ialah gesaan untuk kembali fokus pada target perjuangan. Mengapa buang masa memikirkan perkara yang telah lalu, keterlanjuran diri sendiri dalam meniti kehidupan. Setidak-tidaknya jangan jadikan kesengsaraan lalu sia-sia. Ambillah pengajaran!
Jangan tenggelam dalam kesengsaraan, nanti akan terbunuh kerana dunia dan seisinya pasti mahu menarik kau kebawah. Kau perlu bertahan!
Bagaimana cara kau bertahan, itu ikut suka kau.
Aku sendiri selalu perlukan time out bila peristiwa berlaku tidak seperti yang aku rancangkan. Pengorbanan hari cuti, pengorbanan masa dengan famili, pengorbanan masa untuk diri sendiri---nampak seperti sia-sia kerana tiada hasil. Kosong. Situasi hadapan seperti gerhana penuh kegelapan yang menelan semua cahaya. Gelap. Setelah berusaha macam nak gila, tetap tak jadi. Maka aku berikan diri sendiri time out, masa untuk berpisah sebentar dari perkara yang menyesakkan. Kadangkala menangis, namun itulah jua luahan kekuatan diriku. Ada orang mentafsirkan aku ini cepat putus asa kerana kadangkala aku bagai meminta untuk meminjam kekuatannya sebentar.
Sebenarnya mereka silap, aku tidak putus asa. Janganlah senang menghukum orang, tidak mungkin kau tahu lebih dari yang mengalami. Aku hanya tinggalkannya sebentar supaya aku boleh lebih bersedia untuk memikul beban itu kembali. Aku menangis bukan kerana aku lemah, tapi kerana mencari kekuatan dalam diri.
Itu cara aku, maafkan jika kamu semua tidak mampu memahami.
Kini aku cuma bertahan. Memikirkan jalan yang lain untuk sampai ke destinasi setelah nyata selama ini aku meniti jalan yang salah.
...
Tapi, aku juga silap, bodoh kerana mengharapkan kekuatan makhluk. Mereka enggan memberi, kerana hakikatnya mereka pun tiada apa-apa. Yang ada cuma ilusi kekuatan. Aku selalu lalai tentang ini. Mereka sesuatu yang dijadikan, maka itu bermakna kekuatan mereka hanya pinjaman.
La haula wala quwwata illa billahil 'aliyil 'Azim

I won't be made useless

Lyrics | Jewel lyrics - Hands lyrics
The other day I attended a talk by Prof Asma Ismail from USM. One word to summarize it all: inspiring.
Of all the things she said, I am most touched when she mentioned how we idolize the West in all our dealings to the extent of looking at local product with disdain because it does not live up to western standards. We ourselves elevate them to be our benchmark. The result? We are always playing catching up. One thing about playing catching up is that you're always behind. They are 10-20 years ahead of us, so how can we ever dream of striding beside them as equals? They never stop to wait for us, so they will always be ahead. So what can we do? Until when should we just follow them around like puppies? Prof Asma offered an antidote for this disease: a blue ocean vs red ocean strategy. We should all try and navigate our course according to the blue ocean strategy, that is to go where no one else has gone before. Explore new areas, make not just ground breaking findings, but make earth shattering discoveries. Prof Asma asked the important question of,

"Instead of being equal to, why not be better than?"

Seriously guys, I think we've got it all wrong before. This is the way we should go. All men are created equal, so why we voluntarily demean ourselves to be the inferior human? Remember: if you put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world would not raise your price.

Let us apply this concept to the current situation of Muslims in the world today. OK, let's not go far, just look at the nationwide boycott of US companies directly sudsidizing Israel. I've been reading a bit on this so to me personally, I think this boycott is just something like "jihad kecil" (forgive me if I'm mistaken, is there anything like that? what I mean is that it is just a minor thing to do in face of the war in Gaza). Yeah, by now I think you my stance on this: I think that it is unfair to punish our locals just to get back at their stupid fat boss. It'll harm our economy! It is because Islam holds each and everyone of us for our deeds, no one is punished for the deeds of another. If that person does good, then he/she would go to heaven and if not then that person again would be tossed into hell. No one could be responsible for another, so it is unfair to punish someone for something that they did not do and do not have any power to stop. So, if indeed we want to boycott these companies, we should also provide a safety net or an alternative for the locals involved in the business.
Furthermore, our little country's boycott would be just a slap in wrist or just a little scratch on their butts. Just a minor but annoying thing to have. The crux of the problem is this: they have what we want, and we don't have anything that they want. They could go on with their lives, playing deaf to our voices because we are nothing. Without us, they could still live on. How about us? If they decide to put sanctions on this little country, what would we do? If they decide to withold any technology of the West from ever touching these waters, what would we do? What could we do?
So, we must now focus our powers in is in the mobilization of Muslim people toward achievement in the fields of economy and knowledge. It is now time for us to take the reins for a change, let us decide what would become of our fate.
We should apply the blue ocean model, we should tread on uncharted waters. Let us be leaders, not just meek followers.
I am ok with the boycott, just as long as we don't lose focus on the real problem: the lack of leadership in economy and knowledge.
C'mon friends, wake up! Don't waste your life just thinking about yourself.
Stand up, make use of yourself. Time is running out. If we don't act now, I'll never know whether truly it will all be OK.

Gate bengong

Today started quite awful.
It's only just 8.43 a.m but I'm already impatient to wait for the day to end.
I was supposed to have a meeting with my supervisor at 8.00 a.m but I was late.
The thing that makes it so awfully stupid is that I was late not because I overslept or anything like that but it was because the gate was padlocked. Yesterday was the first day I stayed at the house (my sis n I rented a room there) and I've never had to open the gate before (it was at night when I arrived and when I arrived the gate is already opened). How in the world would I know that the padlock on the gate was a dummy and all I had to do was unlatch the bottom latch of the gate and then just push the gate gently out so that the gate would open without ever to unlock the padlock.
A dummy padlock! Bengong.
I was trying to open the padlock for ages, and each second felt nearer to the end of the world. I was so frustrated :( Thankfully my sis came and saved the day for me by showing me the right way to open the gate. By then I was ready for anything, I was even contemplating my escape Rambo-style---> either climb over the gate (plus: today I'm wearing baju kurung) or go through the trash door (you know, the little door at the gate to put out the trash). Seriously, thank God my sis came before any of that happened :p
So now I am sitting at the lab, bracing myself to face the music. I hate giving excuses, especially if the reason is so out of this world. I feel like a kid trying to explain to her teacher that my homework is abducted by aliens and that is why I can't hand it over.
Please God, make my teacher a believer of UFOs and the supernatural. Then maybe I'll be safe..