And the rest is like whatever

Lyrics | Train lyrics - If It's Love lyrics

The people closest to me will know that I laugh easily at the most simple things. I don't know, maybe my kind of dry humor works readily in any situation. Maybe it is a kind of self defense mechanism. Personally I think it is quite a gift to see the lighter side of everything. It takes a load off your shoulders and helps elevate our spirits to see a different perspective to an otherwise gloomy situation.

However, most of them don't get it. They're like, "why is that so funny?" and most of the time I have a secret fear that when I explain to them why it seems funny to me, they'll think I'm weird or just plain crazy. Some that do, we're like kindred spirits! Put in this dreary world with a different set of spectacles to view the world with. Because some just don't get it.

But I do. And my friends do too. It's either they get it or they just let it slip and accept me as the original person that I am haha.

Like in the song, we're two birds of a feather. And the rest just doesn't matter ;)

p/s: My friends and I have just done something very exciting. We've bought tickets to Krabi! It is for next year, but hey, we have committed ourselves to this holiday thing which I hope will blossom to reality and act as a catalyst for making us globetrotters :D

A sprint to the end

One of my old friends have said that my blog always tell sad stories. Ok, maybe not sad all the time but happy posts are very rare in between.

Now, I think we're not friends anymore. I wonder why these things happen. Oh well, life goes on.

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However, it is true that my urges to write always come when I have something burning in my chest that I have to let out or just a random thought or perspectives that I like to share.

When happy moments come, usually going to the computer to blog about it would be farthest in my mind ;)

So lately so much has happened. I'm at the writing stage now for my thesis, although there are some additional labwork left. But the bulk of it is already completed. Alhamdulillah.

BUT, writing is hard! huhu, especially with someone like me who hardly have any resistance at all when temptation/ distraction knocks. I suspect that even my SV knows this because she quarantined those who are supposed to be writing their thesis in an isolation room. She can only do so much, the rest is entirely up to me.

And that is exactly what scares me. Having someone else to blame would definitely lessen the pressure and expectations but sadly, there is none. Dr (Phd) is not a joint title, you know. So like it or not, I have to pull through.

InsyaAllah it'll be ok. No doubt about that.

But for now, the thing to do is FOCUS!

The torment of want

Pity me that the heart is slow to learn,

What the swift mind beholds at every turn

~Edna St. Vincent Millay

Haven't you come across a time when you wish that you can have control over what your heart wants? It frustrates me when the heart goes by itself, wanting many thing that it wasn't supposed to want in the first place. And of course the head goes haywire; trying all sorts of sound reasoning to convince the heart to budge, shouting through the deafening silence in the mind "Hey, you're not supposed to want that! It is wrong/somebody else's/impossible."

But the heart never listens.

So the cycle goes on: the heart never stops wanting and the mind never stops analyzing.

And the body continues to endure. Taking blow by blow, until it numbs. Indifferent to the opposite tugging of the heart and the pull of the mind.

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As I always say: we should never ask for things that people cannot give. So what I resort to is to ask from a higher source; one that could provide me with everything that I can possibly ask for.

Often words are inadequate, but that don't matter. He is after all, the All Knowing. Resolution for both the heart and mind will be revealed in time, either now or whenever it is right to finally have it. Or to have something else in its place. I don't know. It is weird how faith works.

But for now it is enough to know that we could draw strength from this helplessness by surrendering everything and taking each step of the way with care, whispering silent prayers within our hearts and minds. Believing wholeheartedly that the answers are somewhere up ahead. Somehow, we will arrive there eventually.

La Haula Wala Quwwata Illa Billahil 'Aliyyil 'Azim