Price for waiting

The line is long. So long that I couldn't even make out whether the touch n go counter at the toll gate is closed or open. Sometimes if the timing isn't right, or the traffic so heavy they'll close the counter so that cars could move faster using the electronic toll booths. People lining up to top up their touch n go cards would just clog up the traffic you see.
I moved my car in line, trying my best to squint the sign "Open" at the counter. I couldn't see it. Furthermore the rays of the sun was shining brilliantly, marring my sight even more. Glancing at the clock, I guess I could spare some time before I'm late. So I waited. It was a long wait and we were just inching towards the counter. I sang along to songs, played with my phone a bit but the wait was long.
Suddenly from the corner of my eye, I saw some cars cutting through the line and it was infuriating. How can someone just cut the line like that when everyone else is enduring the long wait? Why do they think their time is worth more than others? I tried positive thinking,  like maybe they're in a life/death emergency or someone is in labour in their car. But when I see that nothing of that sort is happening,  I got pissed again.
Patience,  patience. I breathed in and out several times but couldn't help but wish that their affairs of the day won't turn out good (oh my God, that is not good! But hey, I'm just human).
I am now officially late. I should've made it but didn't. Already I felt a grey cloud looming in my horizon although it's a sun shiny day outside. Drats.
It doesn't help my situation that I keep getting all these notifications on social networks about how happy and perfect and beautiful everyone else is. Whereas I'm stuck. My oh my. It's a challenge just to keep my zen because I'm not even sure if the touch n go counter is open! It would be a waste if I arrive finally to the counter just to discover that it's closed. Yes, I could've changed lanes but it's now past that already. There are orange cones lined up along all lanes to stop cars from changing lanes. Oh no...
You know what? This is exactly what I do not want to have in life, love or anything. I don't want to wait in line for something I potentially won't get. Yes I know, dealing with all these ifs and greys are never going to help. But I would appreciate it if I know if there is a real chance in something. Now it's especially hard to deal with love. It is both the thing that I want most and dread most in life. Maybe that is the price of hope. It's terrifying to realise I really like someone but don't know if he's on the same page. Everytime I speak it sounds like a squeak. Everything I say seem stupid. All I do seem clumsy and off the mark. It really is an inconvenience. For once, I'd like to know the counter is open or not. Is it worth the risk of falling? :(