Let go and let God.

In truth, 
I am bedazzled by your smile.
Every time I remember it, a pang of disbelief floods my heart: how on earth that your smile is more stunning than mine?

How can I not thought of it that way?  
It is arresting and honest with all kinds of beautiful.
Brightening my days and shining my nights.

Maybe it was meaningful because it was fleeting,
With me one moment and gone the next.

Maybe it was magical because it was futile,
Never to be mine unless with a strange twist of fate.

Maybe it was unreal because the memory polished,
Becoming much more dreamy with every remembrance.

This vision of the past,
heavy with hopes of a future,
Intricated with the complexity of this earthly life.

I was, am grateful for the heaviness of this longing.
A sneak peek of what it would be like to just step into heaven.

For I know that to be worthy of a second chance with you in the afterlife,
An absolute surrender to Allah swt is the only way.
While fighting for that chance,
I will brave anything and everything.

In the end we'll see: am I worthy to drown in your smile again?