Ti the Brave Tortoise

Yesterday my friend found her missing tortoise.

It was lost since two weeks ago and yesterday it was found tired and hungry under the dining table.

The plight of the tortoise is so pathetic that I laughed so hard until there's tears in my eyes. It's like Ti, the Maha Pathetic Tortoise.

Imagine the escape plan of Ti while it discusses it with its friend Ki in the same aquarium one dark night:

"Ki, I've had it with this place. It isn't like home at all. All we get is water spinach, water spinach, water spinach."

"But, Ti. I kinda like water spinach. Better than the pellet they use to give us in the pet shop."

"Oh? Then how about this minuscule aquarium? I can't go two steps without bumping in to you."

Ki didn't say anything. Quietly like a tortoise, he inched away toward the plastic coconut tree as an effort to block out the complaints that is getting on his nerves.

Unsatisfied, Ti lashed out, "And this fake coconut tree. Are they trying to undermine our intelligence trying to make us believe that we're in Hawaii or something? At least in Hawaii they have pineapples!"

Ki just turned around without even trying to hide his boredom of this stale conversation.

"You have been complaining since the day we got here. So you don't like it here. What are you going to do? It's not like we have a choice. Just ride with it lah." 

Ti couldn't believe his camouflaged ears.

"Ki, you don't understand. I can't live like this, I am meant for better things. Since the day I broke out of the egg, I know I'm destined for great things."

Silence. 

So she continued.

"I'm breaking free tonight. I've thought about it, a lot. I have all of it planned out. You can either be in with me or you can just stay here like a stupid tortoise"

"I'm staying here and I think you should too. It's too dangerous out there. I'll be your friend, you don't have to be so lonely"

"I told you. I can't. So goodbye. If tomorrow you see I'm not here, just pray for me"

So that night as the lights are shut, Ti embarked on the adventure of a lifetime. To break free from oppression, to be free from situations that limit possibility. Out there, everything can come true.

Actually Ki didn't want to help Ti as a punishment for leaving him high and dry like that. But finally he relented. Climbing on Ki's back, Ti jumped out. Ti couldn't believe it. She figured that the surprising agility probably came from the rush of adrenaline of breaking free. 

Ha ha! Finally, the world would know the Great Ti!

To cut a long exciting story short, Ti was found under the dining table two weeks later. Probably in Ti's eyes, the vast living room with its dry carpet is like a big desert. Constantly on the move, dodging the eye of dinosaur-sized humans to not get caught. Days turned into nights. Everything reeks of danger. The outside world is nowhere in sight. Where is the lake? Where are the lush green trees? Apparition of food and water haunted Ti who persevered to reach the oasis. But the illusion always gave way to barrenness of the hostile environment.

It seems to me its a pity that she's born a tortoise. Born with an ambition that is larger than her reality. If she was born a cat or a rabbit, the two weeks period would have given it ample time to escape. As a tortoise, after two weeks she didn't even get past the dining room.

It's a shame to have all this determination to succeed, and she had even set the wheels turning only to be bogged down by the limited capacity of self.

The burning question: is it a curse to be born a tortoise but with a heart of a dragon?

The contrast is so stark, their destinies unalterable.

It may be better for the soul to not have these dangerous desires to break free from the norm. 

Who can challenge the Grand Design anyway?

Better to just be automatons, just do whatever is expected of you, with an empty shell for a mind.

Yes, may be that is best...

...If you're a tortoise named Ki.

So if you are human but want to settle for a destiny of a tortoise, that is your choice. 

That is after all, the easier route to take.

Blame all on circumstances, blame all on the Grand Design. You alone is blameless.

For me I envy Ti, at least she made a move to escape.

God have said that all people are equal. What differentiates them is their faith.

So you got to do something different! 

Einstein says that one of the hallmarks of insanity is doing the same thing again and again but expecting different results. If you're static in the mind, static in motion: there is no chance of ever getting anything different from the things you've had before.

So yes, although Ti is so glaringly pathetic at least she had some qualities to be admired.

When Ti was put back into the aquarium, I could imagine the scene:

"Hey Adventurous Ti, never thought I'd see you here. How was it?" smirked Ki.

*punch in the face*

Haha! Girl power rocks!

Sound like a sound idea?

It's raya everyone!

But I am here in front of this computer because I'm trying to complete an assignment from my supervisor. It's the paper that I've told you before. I did manage to complete it before raya leave on Friday (yeay! *pat self on the back*). But I should have known that my super-efficient supervisor would finish it by Sunday and message me to tell that she had mailed the correction and I should do it ASAP (she even include a friendly reminder that I should not just eat during raya coz then I'll get fat (fatter than I already am?) and that I should dedicate those precious hours to work instead. I responded that I'll keep that advice in mind while eating at the raya open house buffet :p)

So I am here now. For two hours already, but only managed minor corrections. Where's my scientific muse? I suspect that even muses have to go holiday sometimes. My mind feels like it's on some kind of controlled substance because I feel like my head is softly lolling on waves. I suspect that it's because of the lack of sleep plus the natural excitement of preparing for raya. Yesterday the whole family spring cleaned the house until 3.00 a.m. Then we woke at 4.30 a.m for the last Ramadhan sahur for this year. Then after subuh prayers I took a moment to get a little shut-eye but it was interrupted in half hour intervals because I asked mom and dad to wake me up before 7.30 am. I had an appointment to help a friend to drive her to the bus station that morning. I didn't want to be the reason she did not get on that bus toward her family for Raya, I could be hated for that. If ever I was late then I suspect that no amount of cheery Raya greetings and request for forgiveness would be entertained.

Then after I got back from the bus station I decided against sleeping to just try finish a bit of the journal because when will there be a other time? Now's perfect because today supposed to be our cooking day but it'd start late because of the overtime yesterday and continue until the wee hours of the morning so that we're all sporting panda eyes during Eid. My mom went out with my brother to settle some errands and my sisters are all still sleeping (cis, sedap tido) so this leaves me alone to do the right thing: working on that paper and not updating my blog with pointless babbles.

Tapi, ya Allah, mengantuknya!

...

Self-imposed deadline: Friday.

I promise to do it on the 3rd raya.

...Or maybe its better I look at the journal after 2nd raya?

Ok, maybe I'll try to fit it in on 1st raya.

Hmm..how about after cooking rendang, sate, ketupat, kuah kacang, nasi impit, sambal udang, serunding ikan bilis, carrot cake, pavlova and choc chip cookies?

Maybe the best option for me now is just to sleep and then try do it today.

Or a little bit everyday until it's finished?

Sounds like a sound idea.

Let us just see what happens by Friday, ok? ;)

A compendium of Babbles

Let's just talk. Let's see where this takes us.

So this week I've been busy, going for iftar gatherings with friends 3 nights in a row, all with different people. Even though I enjoyed myself immensely, I still caught myself wishing I can be with the family at the same time. But we can only be at one place at a time. Maybe, that is just as well because it's greedy to want to have everything all at the same time.

***

In one of the iftar outings, I accidentally revealed the mystery person in my mind. I never meant for anyone to know. Oh well. But, in a way, it's a relief having someone know. Even though it may be a hopeless prayer (notice how I am still hoping? silly me).

***

I have more time now at the lab. It feels like I've been laid off, systematically erased from the system because I opted not to join the show for next season. I still have some work to do but because all of it involves paper work and reading journals, I am still unable to switch modes from post-thesis mode to productivity mode. Guess I gotta get myself straighten up and get it done before Raya leave. Kan bagus kalau aku ni seorang yang sangat berdisiplin dalam bekerja? Then maybe I would've filled the 100 empty pockets of time I created in my days with beneficial things. This lag-phase has went on too long, need to re-focus!

***

Travel has been constantly in my mind. Me and my friends were supposed to go to Krabi after raya. It was a spontaneous decision and all of us were excited by it. But we just found out that it was going to be the rainy season. I think it's funny that we would be going to the beach while its raining, but sometimes I don't particularly care. It even rains in paradise. The important thing is the company and the experience afforded by the trip. And who knows, maybe it'd be a blessing in disguise. I can't wait to go! I've grown tired of being jealous of all the places all other people have been. I want to go too, why can't I go? So I'm hoping that this would be the first of many travels to come :)

***

I think I ought to save up for a camera.

***

The other day I went through my posts. I noticed that I've been having love issues since forever. I'm hoping this dry spell to be over but I do know that I'll prepare myself just in case another sandstorm decide to come instead the blessed fall of rain.

***

Just a thought, but I think that people who don't bother shouldn't be made to involve in anything, in everything. Especially love. Your apathy disgusts me.

***

And I wonder, can addiction be self-treated? Self-healed. It is after all, a disease of the mind.

***

Ok, going back to the iftar again. During the iftar today, surrounded by all the loving couples with their cute babies in their arms, one of the single guys remarked (almost to himself), "eh, macam best je". Then I asked him, "apa yang best?" He answered, "semua ni la, macam best aje" while gesturing to the scene of young mommies holding their babies while discussing baby-related escapades and the young daddies all sitting around looking all fatherly. I think it's hilarious that he just realized how much that the singles are missing (me included). He didn't know?

I've known it for the longest time.

***

Whatever it is, I just got to say this: To my sis and paliy, and to my friends: thank you for sharing your little bundle of joy and shining a little sunlight in our hearts! :)

The End.

Just a thought

Yesterday, I watched New Moon on TV.

And I think I'd choose Jacob over Edward.

I'm just saying (disclaimer sbb takut kena marah dgn hardcore edwardians :p)

I'd prefer warmth over cold.

I'd pick light over dark.

I'd choose someone actually there than someone who ran away due to unfathomable reasons.

I don't know, I just think that it is quite stupid of Edward for leaving Bella alone unprotected. And he is torturing himself by being alone in Rome when they wanted so badly to be with each other.

Oh please, unwarranted sacrifices are not my thing, especially when it is me at stake.

Sorry but I don't think the centuries of age in Edward did anything for his maturity of mind (I'd thought he be more wise) as compared to the youth in Jacob.

But hey, the things that make up maturity like sensibility, reliability and thoughtfulness cannot be measured in numbers. And age is indeed just a number.

So there: I'd pick Jacob rather than Edward (but it is easy to make this decision as a bystander and not actually the one head over heels in love with a vampire).

I'm just saying...(another disclaimer, help! :p)

Melawan adat memilih

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
~Anais Nin

Selalu aku bertanya pada diri aku sendiri: kenapa kita selalu suka pada yang membuatkan kita sedih? Kita selalu, tanpa ada keinginan untuk berbuat demikian, meminta pada yang tidak dapat memberi. Betapa banyak hati yang hancur mendambakan cinta sekilas dari kekasih. Kenapa tak boleh berpaling begitu saja? Dia bukan untuk kau, walau betapa kau mendoakan dirinya.

Selalu mak pesan, kalau mencari teman, biar yang mencintai kita. Jangan kita saja yang mencintai dia. Ertikata lain, janganlah syok sendiri.

Susah nanti. Kita perempuan senang, kita dapat tahan dan suka dengan dia nanti. Yang penting dia sayang kita

Itu yang mak aku cakap dan aku percaya sepenuhnya. Walaupun aku rasa aku tidak dapat mengikutinya. Memang, aku tahu aku ni jujur tak bertempat.

Kadang- kadang aku rasa tidak adil yang perempuan saja yang ada rasa tanggungjawab itu, yang mempunyai kekuatan untuk hidup dengan seseorang yang tidak dicintai semata- mata demi masa depan yang lebih terjamin. Berkorban seluruh ketenangan hidup, untuk kesenangan hidup.

Berteka-teki hati orang memang perkara yang memberatkan hati dan memenatkan fikiran. Bagi aku senang, kalau tak suka buatlah seperti tak suka. Tak setuju, buatlah seperti tak setuju. Aku benci dengan teka teki sebab tekaan selalu salah, selalu tersasar. Macam inilah, kalau hendak berteka- teka mestilah perlu melihat pada tanda- tanda yang ditunjukkan. Tanda- tandanya pula terarah pula pada yang yang diharapkan, seperti janji dalam diam. Akhirnya nanti bila sampai waktu mengetahui hakikat, pasti tiada lansung persediaan untuk menghadapi jawapan yang lain dari yang diteka. Lepas tu hancur.

Untuk mengelak dari terjerat permainan itu, ramai yang memilih untuk bersama sesiapa sahaja yang ingin mencintainya tanpa perlu mengetahui adakah dia sendiri rasa perkara yang sama. Semua itu tak penting lagi. Cinta sudah menjadi perkara fantasi. Tutup rasa hati, pakai topeng realiti dan teruskan hidup. Perempuan senang, cinta atau tanggungjawab pasti akan menyelamatkan perhubungan itu nanti. Kalau degil mempercayai cinta, dikatakan naif dan terlalu memilih.

Tapi, kalau teruskan begini bolehkah wanita itu menjadi sayap kiri pada suami? Berada disisinya semata-mata kerana dikehendaki berada disana, bukan kerana mahu berada disana. Perlu dan mahu adalah dua perkara yang sangat berbeza.

Jadi, salahkah mahu sesuatu yang lebih dari biasa?

Fikirkan peranan am isteri:

• Mendidik dan menjaga anak
• Menjaga makan pakai suami
• Menguruskan rumahtangga
• Menyokong suami

Lihat pula peranan am suami:

• Mencari rezeki dan memberi nafkah
• Menjaga keluarga

Ada lagi? Tapi lelaki ini aku rasa tanggungjawabnya lebih pada yang luar dari keluarga sendiri seperti:

• Menjaga ibubapanya
• Menyelesaikan hal- hal ummah (kalaulah dapat re phrase jadi x poyo sangat ( -_-*) )

Ini aku tulis berdasarkan pendapat aku saja, bukan dari segi ilmiah.

Bila diperhatikan semua, tidak adilkah kalau si perempuan menginginkan sesuatu yang lebih? Bosan dan kehilangan erti hidup jika wujud untuk menjalankan kerja saja, semata-mata tanggungjawab. Tapi, kalau dibuatnya kerana cinta maka semua itu tanggungjawab itu tidak relevan lagi kerana semuanya dilakukan dengan ikhlas, kerana isteri mahu melakukannya, malah berusaha untuk yang terbaik.

Jadi, aku rasa tak salah menginginkan yang lebih dari yang biasa. Untuk para wanita, pilihlah calon suami yang benar-benar hebat. Yang benar-benar berbaloi segala kesusahan kita nanti. Pastilah kita tidak kisah memasak, membasuh, mengemas dan mengasuh anak jika suami kita itu seseorang yang benar- benar menghargai pergorbanan itu. Yang tahu menilai pilihan kita untuk terus bersamanya dari mengejar kehidupan yang pasti lebih hebat diluar sana. Biar dia seorang yang worth it.

Ini tidak, tandatangan surat nikah macam buat deal with the devil. Automatik si isteri teruk-teruk dibebani tanggungjawab tapi tidak pula untuk si suami. Kalau lelaki jika dah bujang terlajak, dipujuk dengan kata-kata "Nanti ada yang menjaga makan pakai. Senang kau nanti"

Mengada betul. Kalau perempuan pula mana ada dipujuk dengan kata- kata itu? Sebab dialah nanti yang buat semua. Sebenarnya tidak kisah, asalkan si suami pun menjalankan tanggungjawabnya. Seperti yang aku pernah baca: bersinergi untuk menghasilkan sesuatu yang hebat.

Untuk para lelaki pula, jadilah seorang yang hebat. Bezakan peranan yang dituntut syariat dan yang dituntut adat. Kalau sistem tak adil, kenapa degil hendak mengikut sistem? Tanggungjawab sama-sama berat malah si ibu pasti lebih berat, janganlah perasan sangat.


p/s: Kawan aku pernah membuat analisis yang aku ini queen control. Lawak. Memanglah, kalau mencari gadis ayu yang lengkap ilmu rumah tangga dan menurut saja dengan senyap dan sopan, aku katakan: salah orang.

The Talk and The Tag

I can't wait for 2009 to come. Yeah, I know life is a continuous book and it doesn't mean that an ending of the year would mean an ending or beginning of anything. But I am excited anyway ;)
One more thing, the end of the year is not too late for the first of anything right?
Firstly, I've never gotten the "Talk". You know, the bewildering talk face to face when someone asks you The Question: When are you getting married?
Haha, honestly, I've never had the talk before (not that I remembered :p), people would just ask me, "When are you going to finish your studies?" all the while giving me the eye, but I just ignored it and say, "Maybe for 2 more years" and just walk off quickly because by the look that person gave me earlier I know I won't like where the conversation is heading ;) Quite sneaky huh?

But then...I could only get myself off the hook for so long. Last week, I got it from the most unlikeliest person: my uncle who just got married. Seriously, if you know him, you wouldn't believe he was the one who gave me my first "Talk". Haha, I just can't be serious even when he is talking of a very serious thing ---> it is just not like him. I laughed and asked him to stop because it's just too weird! But he just went right on and I just listened :) But I don't mind because I know that newly married people have this inexplicable urge to make anyone who is unattached to get hitched ASAP.
I've braced myself physically and mentally to deal with such aggressiveness toward my single and unattached status. Bring it on! Haha

Secondly, I've never been tagged before (mostly because this blog of mine is "out of the loop" hehe). So this is another first for me from Hani -->

Answer this bunch of question based on the opposite gender. no family members is allowed.

What is the relationship of you and him?
Long lost crush

Your 5 impressions towards him
1. more or less pious
2. doesn't show his piousness, hell gila tapi baik ;)
3. loves his mother
4. opinionated
5. dreamy heavenly eyes (I am thankful that there is no way he'll be reading this)

The most memorable things he had done for you
Once in class he was doing a group presentation and I asked a question for them. Then he walked up, put up his hands like he was stopping his friends from answering my question (depakan tangan..susah tul nk describe) and gave me his full attention, as if there was only me and him (--this is beginning to sound like a teen flick). And I melted.

The most memorable things he have said to you
Never said anything directly. It's the eyes, you know :p

If he becomes your enemy, you will...
Ignore him as always (what you don't know won't hurt you, right?)

If he becomes your enemy, the reason is...
Both of our Gigantic ego

The most desirable thing to do on him is...
Err...smile?

The overall impression of him?
Mr Too Perfect, gotta get over him.

How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
This quiet serious girl who is harmless like a mouse.

The character of you for yourself is...
An abstract thinker

The character you hate of yourself is...
My innate inability to intiate or engage in small talk

The most ideal person that you want to be is...
Someone who does much but expect less

For the people who care about and like you, say something about them
Thank you. If you'll tell me who you are I'll return it sevenfold :)

10 people to tag

(in random order)

1. Fizah
2. Fazleen
3. Wanie
4. Kak Nana
5. Sha
6. Z
7. Alifah
8. Fadil
9. Zam
10. Anyone who care to be tagged!

Who is no. 2 having a relationship with?
*Secret*

Is no. 3 a male or a female?
female

What is no. 1 studying about?
bacteria + oil ==> thesis

Is no. 4 single?
And available, if I might add

Who is no. 5?
Math genius in the lab

Say something about no. 6?
Always asking me to skip math class during matrix haha

---> This tag is all in good fun. Don't make things complicated k :)

Sama tak serupa

Assalamualaikum
Hari ni dah 10 Ramadhan, tinggal 20 hr je lagi sebelum Ramadhan meninggalkn kita.
Moga2 Ramadhan kali ni bermanfaat :)
Semalam berbuka puasa dengan ayam tandoori n roti nan..hehe, teringin sungguh semalam. Memang best!
Plan asal ialah beli nasi kari, tapi tukar fikiran last minute.
Semalam hajat Lili nak makan tau fu fa kt pasar sec6 x tercapai, pakcik soya tu xde. Tapi, bertentangan dengan tempat pakcik soya tu ada gerai jual kuih yg goreng2 mcm jemput-jemput, cempedak goreng n mungkin juga pisang goreng (x nampak pun pisang semalam, tp mcm patut ada je kt gerai mcm tu kn hehe---educated guess la konon).
Bau cempedak goreng mmg sangat menggoda...terus terasa mcm ade tarikan magnet ke gerai tu. Lagipun x ramai sangat dah orang sebab masa tu da lewat, so pegilah beli.
Sampai kt meja gerai tu, ada 2 talam yang besar. Satu ngan label 4 biji rm2.00 (yang dalam talam ni saiz besar skit) dan satu lagi rm 2.00 5 biji (saiznya secara relatif lebih kecil).
Tanpa berfikir panjang order, "Bang, saya nak yang besar ni rm 2.00."
Dapat la 4 biji. Happy gila! Hahahahahahaha
Malam tu masa berbuka makan la sebiji...pastu hairan, apsal cempedak ni isi die sangat tebal? Pastu terfikir yang, wah, bagusnya isi die tebal, sangat berbaloi!
Kak Liza n Lili pun makan, tapi xde ape2 komen pun.
Then masa sahur makan la sebiji yang last...tiba2 terfikir lagi..apsal la isi cempedak ni macam tebal n lain skit. Pastu mula la belek-belek n perhatikan struktur kuih yang sedang dimakan (saintis la katakan...huhuhu). Tiba- tiba tergelak besar, Lili pun terkejut. Ya Allah, rupanya bukan cempedak, tapi nangka! Wakakaka cempedak sudah menjadi nangka! Or lebih kepada nangka disangka cempedak?
Boleh tak, lansung x sedar yang dari semalam tu memang makan nangka, boleh plak hairan2 sendiri.
Memang lansung x perasan, ye la, bau goreng semalam cempedak (suspek utama: yang saiz kecik 5 rm2.00 tu!) tapi terbeli nangka plak.
Itu la, kadang2 apa yang kita nak, kita tak dapat.
Semalam makan nangka tu, sedap aje. Memang tip top xde masalah.
Jadi, kadang2 kita dapat benda bukan lah yang seperti kita minta, tapi mungkin itu lebih baik untuk kita.
Kalau x belek, mmg xkan perasan sebab rasanya sedap juga. Bukan cempedak je yang sedap.
Oleh sebab itu, janganlah asyik bertanya: "kenapa aku x dapat yang itu?"
Kena yakin pada Allah, pastilah apa yang kita dapat sekarang adalah yang sebenar- benarnya takdir kita. Diberi-Nya perkara2 yang akan membawa kita lebih dekat padaNya. Apa yang terbaik untuk kita bukanlah semuanya kesenangan, lagipun, kalau tidak diuji, mana kita tau nilai kita sebenarnya?
Sekarang ni, memang senang untuk mempersoalkan banyak perkara, tapi apa gunanya? Akhirnya apa yang ada padaku memang nangka, selamanya tidak akan jadi cempedak. Buang ke tanah pun, kalau tumbuh jadi pokok nangka. Takkan nyer die mutate jadi pokok cempedak pulak.
Apa- apa hal pun, sangat happy dengan nangka tu, xpe la x dapat cempedak pun. Maybe next time ;)

Window to one's soul

People say that eyes are the window to the soul..they say that if you look into someone's eyes long and deep enough, it'd reveal the person's true self.

Through time, the most effective communication medium would have to be talking face to face. Because communication is just so much more than empty words, it has to be substantiated by gestures, emotions and also assessment of reaction when posed with an action.

God help us in this world today where people no longer need to see each other to talk. Why bother? We have our emails, our chatboxes, our handphones, our letters. You could be stuck in your house for a whole year in front of the computer using the internet, surviving only on online deliveries but you'd still be considered "connected".

This is the reason why miscommunication is becoming more common everyday.

When some of the essential elements of communication are missing, it cease to be a full reality. It is more of a fantasy and misconceptions. Because, you see, when these elements are lacking, then the human mind would try and attempt to fill those gaps by imagining what the other person looks like, what that person is feeling, what that person is thinking. Majority of the population are rushing, heading the wrong way fast. This is all because communication has no pressing need for the human touch.

Do you ever notice that words in sms could be read in a different tone and it sends a whole different message altogether?

The way the person interpret our message without the necessary visual cues and signals is not in our control. That is totally in that person's control. So as you very well know, when the mind roam free it would be guided by emotions and preconceptions. Eventually the mind would reach a conclusion, but often this conclusion is way off target. It is almost always wrong.
What is worse is that when the mind comes to a conclusion that the mind thought up by itself, it wouldn't budge. It is hard to change once the mind is made up. We still think it is true even though there is no hard evidence to back that claim.

I agree that the ability to draw conclusion out of nothing at all is sometimes necessary when we are facing new situations, new problems. We way we act when faced with something we never encountered before would be dictated by our past experiences, our sentiments, our emotional state at the time, our level of knowledge and education, our desires, our fears and our conscience. All of these factors would have an influence on our actions. It would determine whether you'd stay or go away? Would you hide away or face it head on? Would you stop or keep going?

......But I think that it is not wise to always follow blindly a generalization made by your mind. Keep your mind and heart open for the remote possibility that this time, this one time it would be different. Give that person a chance to prove his/her worth.

However, when you discover that all is not what it seem to be, do not dwell there a second longer, move on, start over. But don't shut down your mind and heart, who knows, the next time it would be different? ;)
Have faith people!

************************************************************************************
Decisions..decisions...What is life without them anyway? In the end, you would be held responsible for your choices. Even in the afterlife, you'd still be asked about your choices.
Why you did that and not this? Why'd you take a left when you could have taken a right? Why'd you choose wrong when you could choose right?
It is not whether you could, but rather a question of whether you would.

Won't you wait for me?

------WARNING! This post is hopelessly lovey-dovey. Those of you who can't stand it, well, you've been warned ;) ----------

At this moment, my mp3 player is playing the song Ku Harap Cinta by Nowseeheart.
I once talked to a guy that thinks that the love for his girlfriend is different from his love for Allah. It was as if he compartmentalized his life to two sides: one side for Allah and another for everything else.
I disagreed with him.
To me, everything is interconnected. If you compartmentalize your heart, then how could it ever be whole?
Why is it said that when married, a man has completed his religion?
If the two [love for Allah vs love for anything else] are so different, then how in the world it could be part of one another?
To me, it is best to do both because both are important, both are essential.
Use your love for another person to take you to a higher level of consciousness and love for Allah.
Do it all for the sake of Allah.
Use your love for Allah to love another person: be it your family, friend or your significant other.
Always remember to be fair. Adil.
Always put something where it is supposed to be. Letakkan sesuatu pada tempatnya.
Remember that fairness does not mean equality. Keadilan tidak bermakna kesamarataan.
Both reinforces each other. A balanced and wise synergy of both would take you higher now and hereafter.
Synergy (from the Greek syn-ergo, συνεργός meaning working together) is the term used to describe a situation where the final outcome of a system is greater than the sum of its parts.
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“The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.”
Jalal al-Din Muhammad ar- Rumi

What beautiful words. I think every girl [dunno abt boys], since they come to know about love, would dream that someday her very own prince charming come and rescue her.
It is natural to feel that way.
Is it because we want to find out what happened after the prince rescue the princess and ride into the sunset to live happily ever after?
I look around and people never stop looking for love.
But each and every one of us are born with another as our soulmate, so maybe that is what Rumi meant. Is it? Dunno.
When the lovers will finally meet another is not in our power to know or determine. When it comes, then it comes. Nothing can change what is written.
So if we apply the concept of the interconnection between love of Allah and love for another person (in this case, your significant other) then I would say that if we nurture and nourish first the love for Allah but leave the heart open for another then if it is written that we would be blessed for love in this world then we would get it, somehow, somewhere.
Does that make sense?
But patience alone is not enough. Any way we choose we have to make an effort. Real effort.
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Sekrang tgh bc 3 buah buku simultaneously: Ayat- ayat Cinta, Falsafah Hidup and Quran Saintifik. Tp x sempat2 nk hbskn mana2. Bz gilaaaa!
Tp ada satu scene dlm Ayat-ayat Cinta yg macam menyentuh hati. masa tu Fahri minta Maria pujuk Noura yang sedang menangis kerana didera keluarganya.

“Tidakkah kau bisa turun dan menyeka air matanya. Kasihan Noura. Dia perlu seseorang yang menguatkan hatinya.”
“Itu tidak mungkin.”
“Kau lebih memungkinkan daripada kami.”
“Sangat susah kulakukan!” Maria menolak.
“Kumohon turunlah dan usaplah air matanya. Aku paling tidak tahan jika ada perempuan menangis. Aku tidak tahan. Kumohon. Andaikan aku halal baginya tentu aku akan turun mengusap air matanya dan membawanya ke tempat yang jauh dari linangan air mata selama-lamanya.”

Macam tu je sebenarnya. Sepatutnya saling menguatkan. Halus hati Fahri kerana berkata begitu.
Dulu pernah tengok cerita Fullhouse, tertarik dengan konsep cinta heroinnya. Dia sanggup menunggu org yg disayanginya. Tunggu sampai tertidur2. Tetap xjemu menunggu walaupun dimarah oleh hero.
Sebenarnya apa yang menyebabkan rasa sayang itu sampai sanggup buat benda2 mcm ni?
Orang yang dilamun cinta (kata2 neutral observer mcm aku ni) automatik jadi orang yang penyabar, pemaaf, periang, ada pengharapan. Bukan ke bagus side effect cinta ni? Yang jadi x bagus tu bila xpandai urus cinta dalam hati tu sampai rasa cinta tu menenggelamkan fikiran dari perkara2 lain yang tak kurang penting. Setiap elemen dalam hidup kita ada hak masing2, jadi perlulah tunaikan hak2 itu semua.
Diri orang biasa, maka perasaan ingin merasai cinta itu tentu ada. Bagaimana dengan soal jodoh? Mungkin boleh direnungkan seperti ungkapan dalam filem AAC:

Dialog Fahri dengan Maria di Tepi sungai Nil
"Sebelum aku kesini, sebenarnya ada 2 hal yang bikin aku kagum sama Mesir. Yaitu Al Azhar dan Sungai Nil, karena tanpa sungai Nil, tidak ada Mesir dan tidak ada AL Azhar.
"Aku juga suka sungai Nil, kalau tidak ada sungai Nil, pasti tidak ada Mesir, tidak ada peradaban, yang ada hanya gurun pasir"
"Kamu percaya pada jodoh, Fahri?"
"Ya, setiap orang memiliki…."
"... jodohnya masing-masing. Itu yang sering kamu bilang"
"Aku rasa sungai Nil dan Mesir itu jodoh, senang ya kalau kita bisa bertemu dengan jodoh yang diberikan Tuhan dari langit"
"Bukan dari langit, Maria, tapi dari hati, dekat sekali"

Jadi, kalau ia dari hati tentulah tidak boleh dipaksa. Syukurlah kalau dapat jodoh yang tersenyum bila berjumpa kerana benar-benar suka hatinya melihat wajahmu, yang tiada paksaan pada reaksinya kerana semuanya jujur. Untung mendapat seseorang yang mampu memahami nuansa perilakumu, yang mampu berkomunikasi dengan cara yang sama (wavelength sama).
Tapi macam apa yang diinginkan ni boleh je kalau di apply pada ciri-ciri sahabat yg diingini kn?
Maybe kedua2nya ada ciri yang sama, yang overlapping tapi ada juga ciri2 lain yang unik utk dua2 individu itu kn.
Pasangan mestila lebih special ;) hehe
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Wah, da banyak dah aku merepek. I think I'll stop here.
U guys take care :)